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I couldn’t explain why I felt the need to explain myself to him like that. It’s not like he had ever expressed any sort of interest in being with me. But somehow, seeing the slight disappointment on his face was enough to make me want to give him a string of excuses.
He almost looked sad, as he avoided my gaze and kept his eyes focused on the glass in front of him.
“I only ask because I am concerned about how this may affect your productivity at work, of course,” he tried to shrug off his interest.
“Right,” I pressed my lips together in a tight line. “Is that the only reason?”
“It’s the only one that I am willing to divulge,” he added after gazing at me for a moment. “But we stick to our boundaries tonight, right?”
He moved closer to me as he said the words. I could feel his gaze drop down to my lips and suddenly, it felt very hot in the bar. I let out a deep breath, and almost fanned myself with my fingers.Whenever he was around me, I wanted to go against all the rules.
“You know, I had a date tonight,” I blurted out.
He maintained a neutral expression, as if he wasn’t surprised. “That’s good for you.”
That’s it?That’s all he had to say to me. I was disappointed in his response. It’s not like I had wanted him to explode into a fit of jealousy, but at least I thought I deserved a better reaction than that.
“It is,” I said, straightening my back and taking another sip of the drink. “My friend told me that NYC is a big place and I should put myself out there.”
“Is that why you are so dressed up tonight?” he asked. If there was an award for maintaining a poker face, he would be scoring the gold medal because I could not read him at all.
I contemplated telling him how I had planned on meeting Kevin at the bar but decided to keep that information to myself. Somehow, it felt a bit embarrassing that I was supposed to go out on a date with Kevin.
Instead, I just flicked my hair to the side and gave him a confident smile. “I dressed up for myself.”
He laughed at that. “Fair play. You look quite good when you’re dressed up like this.”
Once again, I could see his eyes darken. His hands were inches away from my knees now, and I wondered what would happen if I innocently bumped into him. I sighed at the mental image of him tracing little circles on my knees.
“Boundaries,” I repeated out loud, really to remind myself. “We need to maintain a professional relationship, remember?”
“Oh,” he simply nodded and folded his hands in his lap. I cursed myself internally.
I mean, we had already slept together more than once. How bad could it be if we did it again just once more? It surely didn’t help that he was sitting so close next to me, looking like a chiseled Greek god.Even though I only had one drink so far, I could feel my inhibitions loosen already. I knew that if I stayed in this bar a moment longer, I would have a much harder time sticking to my resolutions.
“I should probably get back to my room,” I said, excusing myself. “It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.”
“Of course,” Dylan immediately switched to his boss mode. “Don’t worry about the tab. I’ll take care of it.”
“It’s on the company card you mean?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Yes, Kathy. I am not buying you a drink as a man who is trying to sleep with you. I am buying you a drink as your boss.”
“Good,” I grinned. “Just making sure that we are on the same page.”
Before I left, I leaned in to give him a low hug. His scent hit me and suddenly I did not want to let go. I could tell that he was feeling the same way by the way his hands lingered around the small of my waist.
But this time, he was the first one to pull away.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he nodded.
As I turned back to walk to my hotel room, I felt dazed. My room was empty and cold. As I took off my makeup and dress, I realized that I didn’t want to sleep by myself tonight.But the only person who I wanted to share my bed with was out of bounds.
“I’ll just put a good movie on,” I told myself. After several minutes of careful selection, I had finally picked a romantic comedy.
With the remote in my hand, I plopped myself down between the sheets.First it was a postponed date. And then it was leaving my irresistibly hot boss alone in the bar because I didn’t trust myself to drink alone with him.
“Think of this as self-care,” I reminded myself. “Self-care, not loneliness.”
