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“I don’t mean to disappoint you,” he frowned and then took another sip out of his drink.
If Dylan hadn’t made it big in the corporate world, I’m sure he would have been a successful attorney at least. He had a knack for evading important topics so smoothly to the point it was almost admirable. He was able to say a lot without saying anything at all.
“Dylan, I like it when you’re just chill with me. I like it when you open up to me,” I stressed. “What do I have to do to get access to that version of you, always?”
“Kathy, you’re making it sound like I have some personality disorder,” he scoffed.
“I think you’re in denial,” I zeroed in on my point.
If Dylan wanted to waffle his words and avoid talking about the elephant in the room, fine. But I was not going to skirt around the truth anymore.
“Denial?” he laughed. “What on earth could I possibly be in denial about?”
“About this... thing between the two of us,” I said, drawing an imaginary circle in the space between the two of us. “You know you like being with me too. You already know how I feel about you. No matter how much you try to run from it, you can’t.”
Dylan was quiet.
“Stop fighting it. I know you feel it too,” my voice dropped down to barely above a whisper.
I didn’t know where this sudden surge of confidence had come from. But at this moment, it felt right. Life was too short to second-guess your feelings.
“I…” he looked at me, staring into my eyes. For a second, I was certain that he was finally going to admit that he has feelings for me too. The words are dancing on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill out any moment.
“Just say it,” I said softly without breaking eye contact.
“I feel…” he continued. I was hanging onto his every word, desperate for him to admit it to me. It was all I wanted to hear.
“I feel like we really shouldn’t be having this conversation right now,” he said, snapping me out of the spell that he had put me under.
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Kathy,” he refused to meet my gaze again and instead opted to look at a random spot on the floor.
“I can’t believe it,” I muttered to myself in disbelief.
No matter what happened between us, Dylan was never going to admit how he felt. He had himself trained so well that he was not willing to let himself be vulnerable, even for a moment. It was no different than talking to a wall.
“Stay for a drink,” he offered in a feeble attempt to make me feel better.
“No thank you,” I said, getting up from beside him. “Please excuse me. I think there are other things that need my attention right now.”
I didn’t give him a chance to answer, leaving the private booth.
I was livid and a bit embarrassed. I had put myself out there in front of him once again, only to get denied. I closed my eyes for a moment because I was tearing up in frustration.
I made up my mind right there and then that I was never going to go back to him. If he showed up at my house drunk at midnight or completely sober in the middle of the day, I would make sure I was not swayed. He had hurt me enough.
I needed to get him off my mind, one way or the other. So, I decided to do the worst possible thing I could think of at that moment.
“Kevin,” I called out once I stepped into the common area where some of the company people were hanging out. Luckily, Kevin was still there.
“Hey Kathy,” he nearly ran over to me once he saw that I was looking for him. “I was looking for you all over the place.”
I sucked in a deep breath, knowing I was going to regret the next moment for years to come.
“Kevin, I need you to stop talking,” I said, pulling him to a corner of the room.
“What is it?”
