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She notices my earrings. “Emma said you disappeared.”
“I had a good reason, which is more than what I can say for you!”
“I’m sorry, Paige. But you were too young to understand the circumstances.”
“I understood plenty, Cynthia.” I reply bitterly. “I knew what you were doing with all those men while dad listened in the kitchen. But go on, then. Tell me now. Tell me why you left. I get it if you wanted to leave Dad. But why me? Why Emma?”
Cynthia glances over at the nurses’ station, and though they’re busy, it’s too quiet in the hallway not to be heard.
“This isn’t the place to talk about what happened,” she says, her voice shuddering. “I didn’t know how sick your father was. So when I heard, I came back.”
“To ease your guilty conscience,” I scoff. “Is that it?”
Her eyes turn cold and a small part of me regrets having said it. But what does she expect? Mom left Dad, but she abandoned us.
“Paige, I missed out on a decade of all of your lives, and I am truly sorry. I don’t expect forgiveness.”
“Good,” I snarl. “Because you’re not getting it.”
“I want to give your father a chance to make things right.”
Is she out of her mind?“You want to giveDadthe chance to make things right?” I sputter. “With whom?”
“We kept secrets that you couldn’t be told,” she replies. “Both of us. Now, you have a right to know, but not here. Not now.” She tries to take my hand, but I pull back. I don’t want her touching me.
“Paige,” Cynthia sighs. “I thought about you and your sister every day I was gone. I made plans for the three of us. It took longer than I thought. I understand if you want nothing to do with me. But think about Emma. You’re an adult now, and I’m glad to see you have a life, but Emma needs me.”
“Emma doesn’t need you,” I scoff. “She has me. She’salwayshad me.”
“You didn’t see the way she clung to me when I walked into the room.” The hurt is unmistakable in her voice. “I know you, Paige. I know you hate me now. But if you knew why I did what I did, then you wouldn’t hate me.”
It takes everything in me to keep myself from yelling. “Then tell me!”
“Not here.” She shakes her head and keeps repeating those two grating words. “Please, you have to understand.”
I take a breath. Maybe I can understand after what’s happened to me. Mom walked out, but maybe there was a good reason.Ihave a reason. Why not her?
And what’s stopping me from running from Andrei? Not Oleg. I could call the authorities and tell them what Andrei did. He wouldn’t chase after me. For what? He warned me there are worse people. But that’s no reason to stay. Temptation makes me stay. Silly pride that someone like him wants me. That someone like him went too far to get me.
Mom grasps my hand, and this time I don’t pull back.
“Paige, please,” she pleads. “Just hear me out. You will understand if you do.”
“Fine.” I nod. “Maybe I will.”
“Did your father tell you anything?” she whispers. “About any of it?”
The hallway is cold, but her tone makes me feel even colder. “About what?”
“Of course he didn’t.” She shakes her head. “If he had, you wouldn’t ask me that. There’s a restaurant near where I live. I’ll give you my number, and we can talk there. The sooner, the better, Paige.” Her grip tightens enough to tell me her urgency, but not enough to hurt. “I’m not the monster you think I am.”
I don’t feel like reassuring her with a lie, so I don’t reply. But I will give her a chance.
***
Emma sits on the edge of her chair, watching as we walk back into the room. Her bottom lip quivers as she grips the edge of the chair.
“You’re shaking.” I speak softly.
