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He covers his face with his hand. “Paige, you’d let me go if you knew how horrible I am.”
“Knew what?” I ask, but he won’t tell me why he thinks he’s a horrible person.
“Take care of Emma,” he demands. His voice is harsh and demanding. There’s a strange familiarity to his tone. And for a moment, I’m not sure where I’ve heard that familiarity before.
“Have you told her?” I ask.
He can barely shake his head. “No, you know she’ll fight me on it. Sass me for making a bad call.”
I laugh, but soon I’m crying; nothing can hold back my grief. I place my head on the armrest and his arm is so cold, like he’s already gone. I wish I could go back in time and never meet Andrei Barinov.
“It’s not your fault, Paige,” he says calmly, and the harsh tone is gone. “It’s life, that’s all.”
I taste snot on my upper lip and wipe my nose on the back of my hand. I rise up, and a tissue is held in front of me.
Emma.
“What’s wrong?” She speaks softly. The little tigress that greeted me is gone, and in her place is the kitten I will always remember her as.
I take the tissue out of her hand and wipe my nose. “I was supposed to meet Mom the day she was killed. I wanted to go to her funeral. I’ll always regret missing my chance.”
“Tell your sister it’s okay, Em.” Dad’s demanding tone returns. “Let her know we all forgive her.” He covers for me. The lie easily passes out of his mouth, slipping off his tongue.
Emma’s arms wrap around me. “Paige, Mom was happy to see you at the hospital. She was happy to see you doing well. You saw her again one last time. You have that. We both have that.”
I hug her back, but the squeeze I expect never comes.
***
When I walk outside to the Rover, Andrei is gone. Confused, I stare into the SUV, and I’m surprised he’d leave me here alone, especially after everything he has said. Despite being the center of attention of eight armed men, I feel abandoned. Closing my eyes, I sigh as Oleg jumps out of the car to help me in. He motions to another guard, who jumps in behind the wheel.
I grab my phone off the floor of the SUV to check for a message from Andrei. There is none. What’s wrong with me? I hate Andrei for ruining my family. I resent how he treats me as if he owns me. I’ve lost control of my life while claiming to save it. But when Andrei isn’t around, I want him back. I couldn’t handle it if I never saw him again. My thoughts wander to this morning when he wrapped his arm around me as we slept. At first, I thought he was fast asleep until he kissed my forehead.
Oleg leans into the car from the driver’s side. “Stefan will drive you home, Paige Geraldovna.”
I nod my head but won’t look over. Oleg will see the hurt in my eyes, and he’ll know why it’s there. I always look like a fool around these people. There’s a slight commotion as the guards notice a car fast approaching. I look up as Andrei’s Lamborghini pulls up, blocking our way. Then, on cue, I smile stupidly.
Andrei’s expression is serious as he gets out of his car. His lips are tightly closed as he moves with confidence toward his men. Though they may be the same height, he seems to tower over them. Andrei speaks a few words to Oleg, and the guards play musical chairs, switching positions. He looks at me, and his expression is grave. His dark eyes pin me like a hawk, and I feel pathetic for missing him. He doesn’t love me, so why am I acting so foolish? I look down at my lap and wait.
Oleg swings the passenger door open. “Paige Geraldovna, your husband wants you in his car.”
I squeeze my lips together tightly to hide the stupid grin exploding on my face. Oleg and Stefan escort me to Andrei’s car, and I lift my head like a queen, knowing the neighbors are peeking from behind their curtains. When I sit down in the passenger seat, Andrei places his hand on my thigh. He stares coolly at me for a moment and my thighs part.
“How are you holding up?” he asks.
I nod quickly to hide the tears forming. “He doesn’t want to continue his treatments. So hospice is making visits.”
Andrei is quiet for a moment, and then, unexpectedly, he reaches for me. My body tenses until I realize he’s pulling me into a hug. My mind whips around in confusion. He’s never openly shown tenderness toward me in front of his men. And my reaction is stiff as I place my arms around his back. I press my cheek into his hard muscles, smelling the scent of the cologne on his shirt and the sweat underneath.
“I’m glad you came back,” I whisper.
His body stiffens, and he pulls away to start the engine. “I went home to get my car.”
Something sounds hollow in his voice. And I recognize a lie. He pulls out onto the street, and a Rover follows behind us, but Oleg and another Rover stay behind. My body shakes as a cold chill covers my back.
“What happened?” I stare at his profile.
“What do you mean?” His eyes stay on the road.
