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“Dad.” I hug him gently, scared that I might break him into pieces.
He barely has the strength to hold his arms around me. “I hear you didn’t go to the funeral.”
I look down as my face heats. “I couldn’t go.”
“I didn’t go either,” he reveals. “I didn’t want to be seen, and I doubt anyone would’ve wanted to see me.” He scoffs. “Kenney was there. Like he gives a damn.”
The expression I must have on my face causes him to wince. Dad quickly bows his head. It’s the look he didn’t want to see at mom’s funeral. The look of pity.
I kneel beside his chair, gently placing my hand on his shrunken wrist. “I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
“Don’t worry about me, Paige. I’m sorry for you and your sister. You’ve lost more than I ever have.”
I stare hard into his face until he raises his eyes. My emotions are tamped down, but my voice cracks when I speak. “It will be okay.”
He laughs without making a sound. “In the end, it will be.”
His concentration lands on the side of my face and remains steady, as if a beacon is drawing him in. I color deeply, realizing too late that I have on those ridiculous earrings. I debate taking them off but decide against it, hoping he won’t ask me about them.
“Where have you been, Paige?” he asks, resting his hand on mine.
“I can’t say,” I whisper.
“Emma has been working hard,” he continues. “Too hard for someone her age.”
“I know,” I reply quickly, remembering how hard it was on me to take care of the family on my own.
“And you,” he adds. “It’s been hard on you. What I’ve done has been hard on the family.” He covers his eyes with his bony hand. “But why did you disappear, Paige? I understand why you would want to leave, but you could’ve said goodbye.”
The truth sits on my tongue, but the shame of admitting that I’m Andrei’s wife holds me back.
“Dad, don’t.” Unnoticed, Emma entered the room. I don’t know how much she heard. She steps closer, almost afraid to come too close. “I’ve already talked to Paige about it.”
Dad smiles and points at the kitchen door. “Emma, could you make me some tea while I talk to your sister in private?”
Emma hesitates. Her bottom lip pokes out slightly as she restrains herself from talking back. I can guess what she’s thinking. The unfairness of being treated like a child when you’re the one doing all the work. Emma turns abruptly and rushes out of the room.
I stare at the empty doorway. “It’s been hard on her.”
Dad nods. “The doctor has given me my last deadline. The cancer is fighting back, but I’m sure you’ve guessed that. I can tell by your eyes. Your sweet face hides nothing.”
It isn’t a surprise. The distant look as if he’s already gone. The sickly smell clings to him despite the cleanliness of the house. Things have declined, and I should’ve fought harder to come back.
“I know what you’re thinking, Paige.” His cough cuts him off. “Don’t blame yourself for wanting to live while you’re still young. Don’t waste life on the dead. Not you. Not Emma.”
“You’re not dead yet.” Swiftly, I brush away a tear. “You’ll make it.”
“I don’t want to.” Dad is silent, but I give him time to continue. When he speaks again, he chokes on his tears. “The things I’ve done to this family. I just want to lie down, close my eyes, and forget. I didn’t deserve your mother.”
Dad reaches up, and his finger grazes the diamond in my ear. I freeze as he studies it hard, but his look is incomprehensible. He hesitates, waiting for me to confess, but I can’t. I won’t. But oddly, I think he already knows what’s happened to me.
“At least you’ll be able to take care of Emma,” he says. “Probably better than I have.”
“Dad.” I hold onto him, forgetting his failing strength as I cling to him.
He pushes my arm off him. “Paige, I want to go. You take care of your sister. That’s all I want. I’m stopping the payments on my treatment. Use the money on her.” He sits back, gasping. “No more after this month. It’s time to go.”
“Daddy.”
