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Chapter 30
Paige
Last night, Andrei didn’t sleep in our bed. It’s almost 10:00 p.m. now, and I haven’t seen him all day.
I stare out the living room window toward the woods, my heart in limbo as I peer into the darkness. Everywhere I look, I’m reminded of the danger that has entered my life since meeting Andrei. Everywhere, I feel dread and see brutality.
Even in myself.
Why do I even stay?The question rises in my head. My hands caress my stomach, and I press my hot forehead against the cool glass.
Am I here only because of the baby? If anything, that should motivate me to run. If I really loved my baby, I would try to protect it. But how can I protect it when I can barely protect myself?
There’s noise at the far end of the mansion, and I hurry to the window in the spare bedroom to look out. Below, I can make out the driveway leading out of the other garage. Andrei’s Lamborghini pulls out first, making a sharp turn toward the front gate. Four of the Rovers follow behind his car and disappear.
I stare at the empty pavement below as if I can make him come back by willpower alone.
My heart races, and my throat tightens with anxiety. I try to take a breath but feel nausea rising as I stumble into the closest bathroom. Hanging my head over the toilet, I wait as dry heaves sting my chest. Panting, I slide down onto the floor, crying miserably, wishing Andrei would turn his car around and come home.
I can’t stand knowing he’s gone out. Especially because I know what Andrei does when he’s away. With my fist clenched, I curl up on the floor and berate myself viciously. My forehead presses hard against the bathroom tile. My nails scratch at the floor as a growl escapes. I shake with anger because I love Andrei.
Like a stupid little fool.
A noise from outside the room catches my attention, and I wait to hear it again. Hurrying into the living room, I smirk as I watch the silver door handle jiggle. No one else has the keys to Andrei’s suite, not even me.
Once, they kept me in, and now, I’m keeping them out. I walk to the door as the handle jiggles again. I swing it open with a tilt of my chin, proud of myself for regaining a fraction of control over my insane life.
Natasha stares back at my tearstained face, and I feel my cheeks flush with shame. I must look a mess after lying on the bathroom floor crying over him.
“What?” My tone is sharp as I glare at her uncertain expression.
“May I come in, Paige Geraldovna?”
I walk away from the door, leaving it open, and Natasha walks into the room. She doesn’t slyly glance around as usual. She knows I’m alone.
“You didn’t leave with my husband?” I ask, plopping down into a swivel-based armchair and tugging my robe shut across my knees.
“No.” Her mask is unreadable as she watches me carefully. “Are you feeling well?”
I scoff. “Did my husband send you here to check on me?”
“I was concerned,” she replies slowly. “I came of my own volition.”
“Funny. Because you sounded just like him. He does something I don’t like, and somehow, I’m being irrational and emotional.”
“Youarecarrying his baby,” she replies evenly.
“So, it’s the hormones?” I narrow my gaze and take my frustration out on her. “That’s the only reason I could be acting this way?”
Natasha sighs. She probably wishes she had gone with Andrei instead of dealing with his flake of a wife, who barely understands the Bratva. Natasha doesn’t handle emotions the same way she handles a gun.
But I look away first. “Why don’t you sit down?” I say to her, trying to reel in my emotions.
Natasha hesitates, her gaze flickering between the armchair beside me and the open door. “Only if I can speak frankly,” she replies.
I nod, and she sits beside me, relaxing into the deep chair. She pauses, carefully considering how to phrase what she wants to say.
“I didn’t like you when I first met you,” she confesses. “I thought you were weak, but you proved me wrong many times. I try to sympathize with what you’re experiencing. We all do. But it’s hard to imagine. We’ve only known this life. This is our norm, and not yours. Someone should have guided you from the start …”
