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“Like how you’re guiding my sister?” I ask, my voice a low challenge.
Natasha’s eyes widen as she stares at me in brief shock. It’s a rare moment that I hope to remember forever. The moment fades, and she regains her composure.
“Why would you think that?” she asks cautiously.
I cut her off. “Stop, Natasha. There’s no other reason a person like you would spend time with a sixteen-year-old girl. Emma is mesmerized by all the excitement and money. She thinks we’re playing gangster, and nothing can go wrong.”
Natasha arches a brow. “You do me and your sister a disservice.”
“So, I’m mistaken?” I ask, daring her to lie. “You’re not using Emma’s naivety to the Bratva’s advantage?”
Natasha stares at me intently before finally responding. “You may not have been willing to come here,” she says sternly. “But now you’ve made a choice to stay as Andrei Vasilyevich’s wife. You’ve been given privileges for your loyalty. Your sister is also making the choices she needs to make to adapt to her new surroundings.”
We both know each other’s dark secrets without pushing further.
At the Novikovs’ wedding, I knew right away that Andrei was a dangerous man. I saw it in his eyes and heard it in his smooth voice. But I was irresistibly attracted to him in a way I couldn’t understand. I felt drawn to him in a way that made me afraid.
I fought those feelings stubbornly, but I knew I would lose if I saw him again.
At the time, anything was better than my old life. And even knowing all the risks, my heart craved the thrill of being his only woman.
Itfeelslike love now, and I allow myself to believe that itislove. The way he looks at me when he’s kind. The way he says my name when we’re in bed. The chill I feel when he touches me …
Doesn’t he feel it too? If so, why won’t Andrei say it? Why does he refuse to tell me what I want to hear?
“You’re starting to accept the reality.” Natasha’s smooth voice cuts into my thoughts. “Andrei Vasilyevich was born a dangerous man, and that excites the good girl in you. He will never change, not for you or your child. You will have to be the one who changes. It angers you because you know you can be as strong as he is. But that same strength also terrifies you, because you know what it can lead you to do.”
Shamefully, memories of my giddiness at seeing the severed head return. Natasha is right.
My voice shakes as I speak. “It’s not a strength to be a cold-hearted murderer.”
“It is if you want to survive,” she answers.
My voice is barely a whisper as my shoddy confidence slips away and leaves me trembling. “I’m scared, Natasha. But it’s not what you think.”
Danger looms large in my life, and now, in Emma’s. Everywhere I look, I’m reminded of the criminal life we’re currently living. Illegal deals are routine talk at the breakfast table. Hits are appointments scheduled in an app. Threats are made like promises to be kept.
And in the center of it all is Andrei. The man who stole my body, and now, my heart.
How can love exist in a place so corrupt?
“It’s hard to believe,” I murmur to myself. “Hardly a few months ago, I was completely oblivious. All I wanted was to take care of my family. I was engaged to someone else …” I shake my head at the memory. “Then I met Andrei, and everything changed overnight.”
Natasha reaches for my hand, and I let her hold it. “Your hand is cold.” She rubs both my hands in her warm palms. Her concern worries me more than her stony gazes.
“Andrei has never been in love before,” she continues. “He loves Eva, but that’s his mother. He’s never been in a serious romantic relationship before. And maybe he’s guarded. He’s scared of hurting you, and I can see it.”
I sniff. “Do you really believe that? He’s not the type of man to be afraid.”
“His love couldn’t protect his mother from his monstrous father. A father who hated his son.”
“Why did Vasily hate Andrei?” I ask.
“Because Andrei dared to defend his mother,” she replies. “You’re lucky to have Andrei, but you must learn to accept him as he is. Andrei will care for you and cherish your child, but you cannot expect more.”
Lucky, lucky girl.Her first words to me echo like a dull drumbeat.
I don’t speak as Natasha continues to rub my hands until they finally warm up. What terrifies me more is how my feelings for Andrei have grown despite everything. I never expected to feel such a deep connection with any man. I thought that kind of love was made up in movies or for other people. Better people, whole people, disillusioned people. But this is real, and it grows in intensity every day.
