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Viktor comes out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishcloth.Has she domesticated the bad boy?He greets me with a nod, and I smile back though I don’t feel it. I wish he wasn’t here. I look at Viktor, and Andrei bursts into my thoughts and stays there. I feel guilty being here and not with my husband.He is lost without you.
Inhaling, I force a wider smile on my face. “I would like to order pizza for dinner. I haven’t had takeout in months.”
Emma wrinkles her nose. “No pickles on top, okay?”
I laugh. “I’m past the pickle stage. Chocolate sauce on everything.”
Viktor says nothing to me, as if I’m a ghost he refuses to believe in. Silently, he communicates with Lev, and they go into the kitchen together. The low hum of Russian immediately starts, and I don’t want to listen though my ears are burning with curiosity.
I want to hear what they have to say about Andrei, but for my own sanity, I ignore them.
Besides, now I can talk to Emma alone. “Have you had any trouble?”
She casts a glance at the kitchen door and then says, “There was a man who watched the house. And it did give me the creeps. He wouldn’t hang around if Viktor was here. But I haven’t seen him in a couple of weeks.”
I nod with satisfaction. “Good. No one should bother us ever again.”
Her expression shows open concern. “But what if they do?”
“Do you still have the gun?” I ask.
Emma nods. “My aim is even better than before. But do you expect me to use it?”
I take her hand and hold it gently. “No, I don’t. Emma, we’ll be okay. Andrei’s not around, but I know he’s looking out for us.”
She lets go first. “You miss him, don’t you, Paige?”
I look down at my hand. I never took off my wedding ring. The huge diamond is the one thing I’ll never sell. Tears start in my eyes as I twirl it around my finger. I feel so cold not having him here next to me. Not having him to hold me.
He loves me. I know it. But I also know that if I go back, everything that I’ve done will be a waste.
I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to my baby.
Emma places her hand on my shoulder and gives me a small hug. “Thank you, Paige, and I’m sorry. You did what you said you would. And I know you gave him up to do it. But we’re safe and … I love you.”
It’s too much, and I burst into tears. My body shakes as Emma holds me in her arms, soothing me with words and leaning her cheek against my hair.
Viktor and Lev immediately enter the room when they hear me sobbing. Their eyes scan every corner while they quickly assess the danger. There is no danger except of me making a fool of myself. A little spark gleams in my chest as I yank myself off Emma.
“You can both leave,” I tell them, straightening my back.
They look at each other, not daring to tell me I’m wrong. “Paige, we have orders—”
“I’m giving you the order to leave me alone. Sorokin has promised me protection. My husband still protects me. Who would go against them?”
They don’t answer as quickly as I would like. “Are you doubting your pakhan?”
Viktor shakes his head. “I just need to get my bag.” He looks at Emma, but Emma refuses to notice his imploring eyes. She won’t let him stay. Not tonight. And in a few minutes, both men are gone.
“I didn’t ever think we’d be back here again. Here in this house,” Emma says as the front door shuts. Smiling, she faces me. “It feels so weird.”
I can’t answer her. I don’t dare open my mouth. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t stop the wave of tears from appearing as a wretched sob finds its way out.
Emma hugs me hard as if holding me tight can release my misery. “You can’t deprive yourself of happiness, Paige. It’s time for you to stop making sacrifices for us.”
I sniff my tears back. “You’re right. But if I get what I want, it might destroy me. I’d take the risk if it was just me, but not with a baby.”
Emma sits down on the couch and hugs her body. She looks defeated by my belief. She knows there is nothing she can say that will make me feel better.
