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“He won’t. He’ll hate me for it. I know it.”
Sam closed the distance between them and tugged Lexi in for another hug. “You don’t know that.”
“This,” Lexi sighed from Sam’s shoulder. “I do know. Without a doubt. Beyond anything. I know it. This isn’t his fault. He shouldn’t have to ever be in this position.”
“Well…” Sam hesitated. The silence dragged on and Lexi had to pull back. She stared at her friend almost afraid of the churning wheels going on. Sam was a little wild and her ideas usually followed suit. Lexi loved her best friend, but honestly, some of her better ideas had still been pretty horrifying over the years. “You don’t have to tell him.”
“What?” Lexi gaped at her. “Clearly, I do! We work together. We’re- we’re basically seeing each other. I- I have feelings for him. I wasn’t supposed to, but I do. I can’t just- not tell him. I think he’d notice eventually,” she tacked on dryly.
Fresh tears threatened and her heart, even if it was swelling with the strange new love that bloomed after the initial shock for that tiny little miracle inside of her, still hurt. She knew she’d have to break it off with Curtis. She knew that they were doomed from the start, but she’d let herself be lulled into a false sense of security. They’d had their own little world, a bubble that was blissfully just them, for two entire months. It was barely a blink, but it felt like an eternity too. That bubble just burst in the most abrupt way and Lexi was left stunned. Her heart felt stomped all over, shattered, tattered, and worn.
“You could just- leave,” Sam said. She winced as Lexi recoiled. “I mean, don’t tell him. Just quit your job. I’ll help you find something else. Make sure you don’t run into him again. He doesn’t have to know. Ever. Just go and break up with him. Make it final. Tell him that it’s too hard for you to work for him or with him because you’re so hurt.”
“That’s pretty close to the truth,” Lexi sniffed. The tears prickling her eyes flooded her cheeks in red hot trails. She sniffled loudly and Sam’s face caved in at the sight of them. “I don’t think I can do it. I can’t break up with him. I- it won’t be convincing. He’d- he’d get me to change my mind. I know it. I- I- I like him, Sam. I like him a lot. I liked him for years. I just couldn’t admit it. And now… I can’t do it. I can’t break up with him.”
“Then, if you don’t want him to know about the baby, you’re going to have to disappear. Just leave. Get rid of the apartment. Move somewhere else. Change your number. Disappear. Drop off the face of his earth. He’ll be okay. He’ll move on.”
“What about me?” Lexi wailed. “I- I never should have slept with him!”
“Honey,” Sam shook her head sadly. “You were a goner way before then. I’m sorry I told you to just get it over with, but I was tired of watching you walk around, completely moonstruck and not even realizing it. You’ve been in love with him for years.”
“You’re not helping things!” Lexi gripped the test harder, bringing it up in front of her face. Sam leaned in too. They both got a good look at that blue plus sign. Lexi blinked. Sam blinked too.
“I’ll be there for you,” Sam promised. “We all will. I know your family. They’ll support you in whatever you want. Mine will too. My parents love you like a daughter. You have lots of friends. Lots of good friends who love you. You have a degree. You’ll be able to find another job. You can even move in with me until you find somewhere else to go. Or tell him. Take a chance on it. Or dump him. I don’t know. You’ll just have to decide what you want to do. The only thing I know for sure is that you’re going to be a great mom. The best mom!”
As if the moment wasn’t hard enough, her pregnancy hormones were in full force. Another round of tears gathered behind her eyes and she didn’t even attempt to stop them. They leaked out in fat droplets, raining down her cheeks and dribbling off her chin.
Sam went in for another hug and even though Lexi wasn’t exactly the hugging type, she melted into her best friend. She inhaled Sam’s floral scent, which was slightly nauseating now that she knew why her sense of smell had been so off. She still breathed it in just the same.
A baby. She really had a baby inside of her. No matter what, she’d take a part of Curtis with her. It was the only thing that stopped her heart from shattering completely. She’d done this. Jumped into it with both feet knowing full well their story had no happily ever after. It didn’t even have a mediocre ever after. It had a shitty ever after with a side of broken-hearted disaster and a heaping spoonful of tear filled regret. Curtis wasn’t hers. He was never hers. She’d borrowed him for a few blissful, unforgettable weeks.
