Page 82 of Until You


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She smiles at me when I walk in, and the similarity hits me right in the chest. It’s the eyes. Gray has her eyes. “Nyx,” she says, grabbing my hand. I stiffen as she leads me to a table, sitting down opposite me. “I can’t thank you enough. I’ve never felt freedom like this before. For years, I thought he got away with what he did, that no one would ever listen to me. Until you.”

I lean back in my seat and cross my arms, my eyes roaming over her. She looks happy, and I can’t help but feel like she stole that happiness from Grayson and me.

“It’s not me you should be thanking, Ida. It’s Grayson.”

She falls silent and looks away, a tinge of guilt in her eyes.

“Do you have any idea what it took to win your case? Things aren’t as simple as they seem. They never are. That video that moved the odds in your favor? Who do you think orchestrated that? Who do you think got that confession?”

I laugh, the sound shrill. My heart is bleeding, and staring at her makes me feel like whatever is left of it is being stabbed with a blunt knife.

“It killed him. Grayson was devastated after he met you, and when I found out what you told him, I was ready to drop your case. You do not deserve him. You do not deserve everything he’s done for you, the hell he put himself through. If it were up to me, I’d have let you burn. I’d have let you live with your sorrow for what you put the man I love through. But not Grayson.”

I swallow hard and grit my teeth, trying my best to remain in control of my emotions. “Since you had the guts to sit here and tell him he was born of sin, you’ll sit here and listen to what it took for him to win you that case. Because it was him that did this for you, not your lawyer.”

I lean in, looking into the eyes that are identical to the ones I love more than life itself, and all I feel is hatred. “You destroyed him, Ida. He’d been searching for you for years, going to the church he was left at every single Sunday, hoping for a glimpse of you. Do you have any idea how hard he’s worked? How he grew up? Do you even know who Grayson Callahan is?”

I glance down at her phone and shake my head. “That phone of yours? It wouldn’t work without the software Grayson’s company developed. The man you say never should have been born, is the same man that runs one of the most influential software companies in the world. He’s the same man that personally worked on hundreds of cases just like yours —pro bonoand completely anonymous. That is the kind of man Grayson is. He’s brilliant, he’s kind, he’s compassionate… and without him, you’d still be living with unresolved crimes haunting you. You think it was your lawyer that won you the case?” I laugh humorlessly and clench my hands.

Ida looks at me, disbelief flickering through her wide eyes.

“That video Grayson made? It killed him to take it. It killed him to sit there and hear how he was conceived. He hasn’t been the same since. Despite everything you said to him, he went and did that for you, forsaking himself. But that’s not all he did, Ida. Grayson ensured the right people saw that video. At first, it was the judge that pushed your case forward to a trial instead of dismissing it. Then it was the jury, earning you that landslide victory. He broke countless laws to give you the justice he thought you deserved, but that’s not all he broke. He broke his own heart — and mine too.”

I look away, disgusted by her. “The next time you feel even an ounce of relief, the smallest sense of justice… remember who you owe it to. Remember what it cost. Grayson paid for your happiness by sacrificing his own. Every smile on your face for the rest of your life, is one you took from him. He might have been born as a result of a crime, but it doesn’t compare to the sins you committed against the one person who stood by you even when you turned your back on him. He didn’t choose to be born the way he did, butyouchoseto give him up. You chose to turn your back on him when he came to find you, his heart filled with hope. You looked him in the eye and destroyed him. You might be enjoying a sense of freedom now, but you’d better remember what it cost.”

I rise to my feet and turn to walk away, a tear rolling down my cheek as I walk out the door. My heart aches for everything Grayson went through, everythingwewent through. I hope it was worth it.

64

Aria

I glance around the apartment Grayson and I turned into a home. It’s in the little touches, the throw blanket on the sofa, the candles, the cushions. Then there are the little kitchen tools I bought myself, the photos of the two of us.

I was never supposed to get this comfortable here, and I’m wondering if I invaded Grayson’s space without even realizing it. He only offered me a place to live as a favor to Noah, after all. He thinks I don’t know, but the two of them aren’t as sneaky as they think they are.

“Aria?”

I turn to look at him, surprised to find him home at all. Lately he spends all of his time at the office, and when he gets home, he goes to the rooftop gym, using up whatever energy he’s got left. By the time he comes to bed, he’s ready to pass out from pure exhaustion.

We don’t eat together. We don’t talk. We don’t discuss our days, nor do we work together the way we used to. I don’t remember the last time we had a full-length conversation, something beyond casual pleasantries.

Grayson’s eyes drop to the suitcase beside me, and he tenses. “Where are you going?”

I look at him, searching for a trace of panic, a hint of pain. I find nothing. His expression is completely unreadable. I thought things might change once Ida’s case got resolved. I thought that helping Ida get justice would ease his pain, and I think it has. There’s less tension in his shoulder, and the look in his eyes is less haunted. But his attitude toward me hasn’t changed. It’s been a few weeks, and other than thanking me for my help, he hasn’t spoken to me. He hasn’t sat down to have dinner with me, and he certainly hasn’t so much as touched me. He hasn’t even held my hand, let alone hugged me. He comes to bed after I fall asleep, and he’s gone before I wake up. Some nights I’m not even sure he sleeps next to me. I know he’s home, but I suspect he’s been spending some nights on the sofa or in the guestroom, and I hate feeling like I invaded his space, like I took his bedroom from him.

“Home,” I tell him, and it kills me to say it, because I thought home was wherever Grayson was. I thoughthomewas the apartment I’m standing in right now. But then, I thought the same when it came to Brad. I’m so desperate for a normal life that I turn blind to reality. I fail to see that I’m inserting myself where I’m not wanted.

Grayson walks up to me, and my heart starts to race. I hate myself for the hope I feel, for the way I can’t keep from silently begging him to ask me to stay, to take me in his arms and kiss me the way he used to.

“You’re leaving, huh?”

I stare at him, my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. That’s all he’s got to say? I smile mockingly and look away. He’s been showing me he doesn’t care about me for weeks now, so why is a part of me still surprised?

I glance around the house, my eyes lingering on one of the photos of my parents that Gray put there for me, my stomach tightening. “Tell me to stay, Grayson,” I whisper. “Tell me you don’t want me to go. Tell me we can get past this, that you’ll talk to me. Tell me we can work this out.”

I look at him, desperation clawing at me. “It’s been weeks since we last really talked. You’re killing me, Gray. You’ve got me wondering whether it’s just me, whether you just fell out of love with me, whether you just don’t want me anymore. And you know what, if that’s the case, just tell me. Tell me… don’t push me away like you have. Don’t make me feel unwelcome, like I’m intruding in your home.”

Gray runs a hand through his hair and looks away, his jaw locked.

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