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Carter takes a step closer to me and wraps his arms around me fully, closing the distance between us. My breasts graze against his chest, and I have to resist the urge to melt into him. I look up at him, my heart beating wildly.
“You noticed I was upset, huh? No one else did. Not even Asher. How come you still read me so well, Minx? How come you still notice every little thing about me?”
I bite down on my lip as I stare into his eyes. I could get lost in those eyes of his. The specks of green and all the different shades of brown have always captivated me. “I don’t know,” I whisper.
Carter sighs and drops his forehead to mine, his eyes fluttering closed. He inhales deeply, and I close my own eyes, wanting to lose myself in this moment with him.
“Are you happy, Emilia?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Am I? I like to think I am, and most days I can make myself believe it too. But have I been truly happy since I lost Carter? I don’t think so. There’s no point in admitting that, though.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I am.”
Carter inhales deeply and tightens his grip on me. This moment feels so precious. I can’t remember the last time I wanted a moment to last forever. I guess the last time I felt this way was with Carter too.
“Sam… does he treat you well?”
My heart wrenches at the thought of him, and I feel guilty immediately. I stiffen in Carter’s arms and bite down on my lip. The truth is that right here, right now, I’m happier than I have been in years. Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I don’t ever feel this way with Sam? I want this so badly with him. He deserves it.
“He does. He treats me incredibly well. He’s very kind and considerate. I’m very lucky to have him.”
Carter tenses, and I feel bad. I wish he’d never even asked me that question, but I can’t lie to him either. Sam is amazing and I’m not sure I’m even good enough for him.
“Are you?” I ask. “Are you happy?”
Carter remains silent, his chest rising and falling against mine. “No,” he says eventually. “I haven’t been happy since you walked out of my life, Emilia. I haven’t even truly felt alive since you left.”
Carter pulls away from me and wraps the throw around me, leaving himself exposed. “It’s good to hear that you’re happy, though. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. I’m glad you found your happiness, even if it isn’t with me.”
I force myself to smile and nod at him. These things that I’m suddenly feeling around Carter… it’s all just nostalgia. At the end of the day, I’ll still go back to London, to the life Sam and I are building together. I’ll still move in with him. I can’t get caught up in whatever it is I’m feeling right now.
“You’ll find your own happiness too, Carter,” I tell him. I guess the sayings about first love are true. You never really get over your first love. I don’t know how else to explain the rage I feel at the thought of Carter with someone else.
“Maybe,” he whispers, but I can tell he doesn’t believe it. Carter brushes my hair behind my ear and smiles at me.
“I’m glad you’re back, Emilia. Home hasn’t been the same without you.”
I nod at him. “It’s good to be back. I wish I’d come back sooner, to be honest.”
Carter smiles, yet his expression is heartbreaking. “Me too,” he whispers.
He clears his throat and inhales deeply. “Look, you and I… we’ll always have history. But you’ll be living here for the foreseeable future, and you’ll be working with me too. I’d like it if you and I could try to be friends. I think your father would appreciate that too. No more sneaking around trying to avoid me around the house or at work.”
I blush and look away. “You noticed that, huh?”
Carter chuckles, and the sound makes my heart flutter. “I notice everything about you,” he whispers. He looks away and so do I. My heart can’t take it when he says things like that.
“Yes, of course,” I murmur. “We should try to be friends. We were friends before we were ever anything else.”
Logically I know that’s true, yet I can’t think of a time that I wasn’t in love with Carter. Were we ever even truly friends? Even before I realized it, I considered him to be mine.
Carter smiles and nods, and that’s that. We’re friends.
Chapter 18
Carter
I’m still thinking about Emilia in my t-shirt when I walk into the office in the morning. My Ferrari was missing, so it seems my little Minx escaped before I got to speak to her. She won’t be able to evade me for very long at all, and I doubt she even wants to. Asher’s words threw me off, and I know there’s truth to what he said… but part of me wants to prove him wrong. Even though I know he’s right, I can’t stay away from Emilia.
I spot her the second I walk into the office. Her eyes find mine, and a blush spreads on her cheeks. She looks away, flustered, and I smile to myself. Whether she likes it or not, she’s still affected by me. She’s deceiving herself if she thinking she’s in love with Sam. I walk up to her, and she brushes her hair out of her face, the movement almost… nervous.
