AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You’ve been absentminded all day. What’s going on?”
I hesitate and run a hand through my hair. He’s been trying to run me through a potential acquisition he’s excited about, and I should probably be paying more attention. I really should have told him. “I offered Emilia a job here,” I say cautiously. “Told her we could use her legal expertise.”
Asher freezes and then looks away, his expression troubled. “Are you sure you want to do this, Carter? She’s got a boyfriend, doesn’t she? Has she even spoken to your mother or your sister yet?”
It’s been years since I’ve heard him say Kate’s name. His wounds seem to be as deep as mine, yet we’ve both mastered the art of pretending like we’re fine.
“I know she does, and no, she hasn’t. But does it matter? Does any of that matter, Asher? I let her go years ago because I was trying to put my family first, and because Emilia was right. We couldn’t have survived the total chaos our lives had turned into. But now? What’s holding me back now?”
Asher looks up at me and shakes his head. “The fact that she has a boyfriend, Carter. She has an entire life back in London. A life she’ll go back to, eventually. Where will that leave you? It took you years to get over her, man. I saw you tearing yourself apart for years, burying yourself in more work than any man should reasonably do. For years you were barely even alive. You’re finally at a stage where you’re happy again. I don’t want to see you fall apart, man. Not again,” he says, an anguished expression on his face. For years Asher was worried sick about me, and he’s right. I was a fucking wreck for far longer than I want to even admit to.
“Besides, what will Emilia have here?” Asher says, his tone cautious. “Just because so much time has passed doesn’t mean that her wounds have healed. Don’t you remember how your mother treated her? The things your sister has said and done? Because I do. I remember Emilia crying her heart out over you and your family. Being with you means she’ll have to confront all of those memories. If she’s with you, she’ll have to smile at your sister and your mom at every single family occasion, even if it kills her. And because it’s Emilia, she will. She’d tear her own heart out if it made you happy. Can you put her through that during every Sunday family dinner? Can you bare the alternative, which would be either you not going at all and letting your mother down, or leaving Emilia at home and making her feel like she’s letting you down? You can’t ask any of that of her. You can’t, Carter. You can’t pursue her if you can’t make her happier than her boyfriend can.”
I look out the window and watch my red Ferrari approach. Emilia parks right in front of the building and steps out of the car, unaware of all the attention she’s getting. She’s always been clueless like that. She never realized how beautiful she is. How incredible she is.
I tear my eyes away from her and look back at Asher. This is exactly why I didn’t tell him that I offered Emilia a job. Because I knew he’d say the very things I didn’t want to hear — but needed to. “It’s just a job,” I say, my mood ruined. “All I offered her was a job. Besides, I told her she can work from home so she can be with her dad. She’ll only ever really come in for meetings she can’t miss.”
Asher shakes his head. “It’s never that simple when it comes to Emilia. Don’t ruin the life she’s so painstakingly built for herself. Don’t pull her back into the life she tried so hard to escape. Don’t seek out hurt, Carter.”
I’m still thinking of his words hours later, when I walk into a meeting that I asked Emilia to be present for. I was planning on onboarding her myself, but thanks to Asher, that was left to Human Resources. I know he’s trying to look after her in his own way, but he’s irritating the hell out of me.
Emilia looks up with wide eyes as I walk in, and it takes me a second to realize that it isn’t even me she’s looking at with such happiness. She rises from her seat and walks straight past me, practically throwing herself in Asher’s arms. He hugs her tightly and presses a kiss to her hair. “Hey, Milly,” he murmurs, tightening his grip on her. She hugs him, her body pressed to his.
I look at Asher through narrowed eyes and grit my teeth. If he doesn’t let go of her in the next couple of seconds, he won’t be coding shit for the next couple of weeks. Hell, he won’t be using his arm at all.
Asher looks at me, his eyes twinkling with amusement, and he squeezes her tighter before he lets go of her. I didn’t even realize my entire body had tensed until she takes a step away from him, and I can finally breathe easy again.
“My gosh, how have you been? You look amazing,” Emilia says, sounding excited. She didn’t even show me an ounce of that excitement when she saw me again. Matter of fact, she wasn’t even remotely excited. If anything, she seemed perfectly unaffected. I’ve never been jealous of my best friend, but right now, in this moment, I am. I can’t believe he got to hold her in his arms the very second he saw her, yet she jumped out of mine the second she laid eyes on me.
Asher places his hand on her lower back as he walks her back to her seat, and much to my annoyance, he takes the seat next to hers. The one I’d been eyeing. I bet he fucking knows what he’s doing too. I know he’s right. I know I should stay away from her. But fucking hell, it’s Emilia.
I can’t focus at all during the meeting and keep nodding absentmindedly, earning me a few kicks from Asher. Eight years, and my heart still races at the sight of her. She’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Asher is right, though. I need to put her happiness first, and no matter how hard I try, no matter how much money I have, no matter how much I fucking love her, I can’t erase the past. I can’t take away the pain she suffered at the hands of my family. I can’t be the one to make her happy, no matter how badly I want to. I’ve known Emilia almost all my life. The one thing she’s always craved above all is a loving family. I can’t give her that. And even if I could, it’s not me she wants it with.
Chapter 17
Emilia
Something is wrong, but I can’t figure out what it is. Carter seemed absentminded all day, upset even. I can’t quite pinpoint how I know, but I do. I glance down at my tee and hesitate for only a second before grabbing my leggings and tugging them on.
I make my way through the giant house and pause in the living room, my eyes on the large glass sliding doors that lead to the veranda. As expected, he’s standing there, staring up at the sky, a whisky glass in his hand. He doesn’t seem to feel the cold, even though he’s only wearing shorts and a loose tee. It’s not winter quite yet, but it’s definitely too cold to be standing there dressed like that.
I bite down on my lip and walk over to the sofa to grab the thick furry throw. I hesitate before walking up to the doors, and I inhale deeply before walking through them. The sound of the door sliding open startles Carter, and he turns to look at me in surprise.
I walk up to him, my feet freezing, and pause in front of him. I look into Carter’s stunning hazel eyes and wrap the throw around him, gripping the ends tightly. “You’ll get cold,” I whisper, my voice disturbing the tranquility of the night.
Carter looks at me like I’m some sort of mirage. The way he’s looking at me makes my heart race. For years I’ve dreamt of him looking at me like that, just one last time. Every single time that he visited me in my dreams, he’d look at me like this, and I’d wake up in tears, knowing it’d never happen again. My heart clenches painfully as Carter raises his hand to my face. He cups my face gently, and I lean into him subconsciously.
“What are you doing here, Minx?”
My eyes widen and my heart starts to race. It’s been years since I got to hear him call me Minx, and I didn’t quite realize how much I missed it.
“What do you mean? I’m here for my dad, of course.”
Carter shakes his head and tugs the throw out of my grip. He wraps it around the both of us, his hands on my shoulders.
“What are you doing out here? Your dad isn’t here. It’s just me.”
I look away, unsure how to reply. “I don’t know,” I answer honestly. Dad has already gone to bed and I’ve already checked up on him. I’d just been twisting and turning in bed, unable to keep my mind off Carter. “I was worried about you,” I admit. “You seemed upset today.”
