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My fingers trace over the strap of her nightgown and I push it off her shoulder, just as a single tear drops down her cheek. I watch it fall, my heart wrenching painfully.
“You’re lying to me,” she says, her voice breaking. “Tell me you’re lying to me,” she pleads, and I almost give in. I almost admit that she’s right.
I lift my hand to her face and wipe away her tears with my thumb. “You don’t want me,” I tell her. “But you don’t want anyone else to have me either, huh? That’s not how life works, Emilia. That’s not how love works.”
She bites down on her lip as more tears stream down her face, and it breaks my heart. Yet I remain silent. I need this. I need the distance this will create. I need her to understand how she’s been making me feel. All this time I’ve been hoping that eventually she’d change her mind about us, but she won’t. I saw the way she kissed Sam tonight, and I get it now. I lost her. She and I might have history, and she might be a little nostalgic when she’s around me, but that isn’t love, and it’s time I realize it. It’s time I take a step back, before I destroy what little of my heart is left.
“Go back to bed, Emilia. Go back to Sam. I’m done.”
She swallows hard, her eyes filled with tears, and I let go of her. I turn to leave, but she pulls on my sleeve and pulls me back. I look at her, my conviction swaying already. I can’t bare to see her so sad. I can’t stand seeing her cry. I never could.
“Carter, I…”
“What’s going on here?”
Emilia and I both turn to find Sam standing in the doorway, and she takes a step away from me, towards him. She wipes at her tears and shakes her head, smiling at him. It’s like his mere presence makes her forget I’m still standing here too.
“Nothing,” she says, walking up to him. “Carter came home right as I went down to grab a glass of water. We were talking about the past, that’s all.” She grabs his hand and pulls him away. She looks back at me as she rounds the corner, her eyes filled with resignation.
I sit down on the sofa as her footsteps get further and further away. I inhale deeply and pour myself another drink. Maybe Asher was right all along. She’s going to bed with the man she chose, and here I am, broken all over again.
Chapter 34
Carter
I’m tense as I wait in front of the airport. I’m feeling conflicted as hell. I should’ve spoken to Emilia, but she’s been avoiding me all week. I don’t even blame her. I did everything within my power to push her away.
Kate walks out with her suitcase in tow, and she grins at me. My heart twists painfully at the sight of her. I love my sister, but now that Emilia is back, all the damage she did feels so fresh. I know better than anyone else that she’s no longer the vicious little girl that she used to be. Hell, I was the one that paid for all the treatments, the psychiatrists, psychologists and even the freaking MBA she decided to do.
Kate walks up to me and hugs me tightly, and I wrap my arms around her. “Hey baby sis,” I murmur, and she grins up at me.
“Missed you, Carter,” she says, her eyes twinkling. She looks healthy and happy, but will she still when she realizes Emilia is back? I’m worried. I’m worried about how Emilia might react when she sees Kate again. She’s been avoiding my mother since the day that she came over for lunch, and I’ve barred my Mom from my house for the time being, in an effort to respect Emilia’s wishes.
I’m quiet as Kate and I step into the car, and she looks at me with interest. “So, she’s back, huh?” Kate says, and I freeze.
I glance at her, my expression far more tense than I intended. “Stay away from her. She’s going through enough.”
Kate inhales deeply and looks away, hiding her face from me. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I’m a horrible brother for feeling this way, but I wish she hadn’t come back for the holidays this year. With John being as sick as he is and Emilia finally back for the first time in years… I just want Emilia to have a peaceful couple of days. I want to protect her from my family as best as I can, the way I should have done years ago.
“I’m not here to cause conflict,” she whispers, and I nod.
“I know. I know that, Kate.”
Even if she doesn’t cause any conflict, seeing her will still be painful for Emilia.
“I’ll stay with you, away from the house,” Kate says, and I shake my head.
“You can’t. Just stay with Mom and Dad.”
Kate bites down on her lip and frowns. “Is she staying with you?”
I nod. Even merely discussing Emilia makes me uncomfortable.
“So, you two… are you back together?”
I glance at her, trying to assess how she’d even feel about that. I can’t find a single trace of viciousness in her gaze, but then again, I missed it for years. “No. She has a boyfriend. He’s here too.”
Kate looks at me with wide eyes. “Her boyfriend is staying with you too? What the fuck, Carter?”
