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I wake up feeling like I haven’t slept a wink. I kept tossing and turning, overthinking everything. I ended up questioning everything I thought was important. My job in London, my trust in Carter, my dad’s recovery. I feel like I’ve been functioning purely on hope, and it all came crashing down at once.
I sit up in bed, and I notice movement through the window from the corner of my eye. I turn to look into Carter’s window, and my heart skips a beat when I see him walking into his bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist.
Did he spend the night at his parents’? I didn’t see him when I went to bed, so he must have come in after I fell asleep. I sit back and watch him for a moment, instantly thrown back to our childhood.
I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience this again. I didn’t think I’d ever see him through our windows again. My heart wrenches painfully and I tear my gaze away. When I look at him, I can’t stay mad at him. While I don’t want to be mad just for the hell of it, I need a moment to think through everything that happened. I need time to myself, to decide whether the choice Carter made is one I can live with. Whether it affects my ability to trust him.
I slip out of bed and into the shower, my thoughts on both Carter and Dad. I feel like I’m at a turning point in life, and there are some big choices ahead of me. I haven’t been scared of the future in years, but right now, right here, I am.
I walk back into my bedroom absentmindedly, my thoughts whirling. I pause when I notice Carter standing by his window, a large piece of paper in his hands.
Minx, it says.
He notices me looking and turns it over.
I’m sorry.
I clutch my towel tightly, my heart aching as he bends down to write something down. He holds up three pieces of paper, one after the other.
I was wrong.
I thought I was doing the right thing.
Allow me to earn your forgiveness, please.
I inhale deeply, my heart wavering. I know Carter, and I know his heart. I know it wasn’t his intention to hurt me, but that’s what he did nonetheless. Sometimes it’s good intentions that hurt the most.
My phone rings, Carter’s name lighting up the screen, and I hesitate before picking up.
“Minx,” he murmurs, and my heart skips a beat. “I’m sorry,” he says, leaning against the window.
I walk up to mine and sigh. “I know you are, Carter. But that isn’t enough. What hurts the most is that you knew how much this would impact me, yet you chose to make a decision on my behalf that you just didn’t have the right to.”
He falls silent and nods. “I know, Emilia. I can see that now, but at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. Baby, this is something your father wanted to take to the grave. It wasn’t my place to tell you. It wasn’t my secret to spill. I promised your dad that you wouldn’t find out through me. I love you, Emilia… but I owed your dad this, at least.”
I inhale shakily. “Even after all these years, Carter, I always thought you’d be the one person that’d never keep anything from me. A lie of omission is still a lie, Carter. And this… this wasn’t something small. I would’ve gotten over it if you’d just kept your silence, but instead of that, you purposely obstructed my access to medical files that would have told me the truth. That’s not okay, Carter.”
Carter rests his forehead against the window and inhales deeply. “I know, Emilia. I just didn’t want you to get hurt. You’ve had to go through so much since coming back, that I wanted to do everything in my power to keep you from hurting any further. You’re right to say it wasn’t my place, and I apologize for overstepping. I had no right, and I don’t know how to make this right, Emilia. I don’t know how, but I’ll do whatever I can to earn your forgiveness. Will you let me?”
I spent years loving him, wanting him, missing him. I can’t take more of it. I close my eyes and drop my forehead to my window.
“Yes,” I whisper. “I won’t forgive you easily, Carter, and this isn’t something I’ll forget. But I… I love you. I still love you.”
Carter straightens and turns away. I watch in disbelief as he walks out of his room, the call disconnecting. I stare at my phone in confusion, bitterness filling me.
I’m still staring at my phone when my bedroom door opens and Carter walks in, startling me. He walks up to me and grabs my shoulders gently, his eyes flashing.
“Say that again.”
My eyes roam over his body, my heart racing. It feels like I haven’t seen him in years. I lift my hand to his still wet hair and brush it out of his face before looking into his eyes.
“I love you, Carter.”
He exhales and drops his forehead to mine, his arms wrapped around me. “I love you too, Emilia,” he says, pulling away to look at me. “I don’t know how to make this right, but I’ll do anything.”
I look into his eyes and my heart starts to ache. He looks so panicked, so anxious, so desperate to make things right. I cup his cheek gently, and Carter presses a soft kiss to my forehead.
“Time,” I whisper. “I just need a little bit of time.”
