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I watch as Gemma intercepts him when he reaches the entrance. She’s in his class and she clearly has a thing for him. I hate that he smiles at her so brightly when he didn’t so much as look at me today. She touches his arm as they talk and the way she pushes her breasts out for him annoys me. His eyes drop to her chest and jealousy twists my stomach. Her breasts are far bigger than mine and the low-cut top she’s wearing showcases them perfectly. Even I can’t deny that Gemma is beautiful. She flirts with Carter endlessly, and he lets her. I didn’t realize until today that I’ve never actually seen him flirt with anyone. I’ve heard rumors, but I’ve never witnessed it myself. He’s always kept a polite distance from the girls at school if Kate and I were present.
Carter moves closer to her and she looks up at him seductively. I bite down on my lip hard and walk past them, trying my best to pretend like I don’t care when my heart is shattering. Kate glances at me but doesn’t say a thing. I know I wasn’t very subtle, but she seems to think my jealousy might just be a bad mood. She’s right and I cannot go there with Carter, but I didn’t think it’d hurt so much to see him with someone else.
I’m pissed off during class. My mind keeps replaying the scene I witnessed this morning. The way he looked at her chest and the way she touched his arm. How close they stood to each other. If that’s how he discusses school projects, then it’s no wonder there are so many rumors about him. I somehow thought that what happened at the cabin was special to both of us, but now I’m wondering if I’m just another girl he’s hooked up with.
“You’ve been quiet all morning. What’s wrong?” Kate asks. I follow her to the cafeteria and shake my head.
“It’s nothing. I couldn’t sleep last night, I’m so exhausted,” I reply. It isn’t a lie, but it isn’t the whole truth either. I hate having to keep things from Kate, but I can’t tell her I hooked up with her brother. Not after what she said to me at the cabin.
Kate freezes when we search for a table, our trays in hand. Her eyes zero in on Carter and Asher’s table. They’re notorious for always having lunch together and not wanting to socialize with anyone else, but today there are two girls sitting with them. I recognize Gemma, and I think the other girl is Chloe. Just like this morning, Carter and Gemma are totally absorbed in each other. Much to my surprise, Asher seems to be talking to Chloe. I rarely see him with girls. He’s usually as unapproachable as Carter.
Kate walks towards their table with a grave expression on her face and slams her tray down with force, some of her food going flying. I look at her with wide eyes. She drags a chair over from another table and sits down. I stand there, completely thrown. Eventually I snap out of it and join Kate at the table.
Carter looks up at Kate with raised brows and she freezes. He frowns and looks at her through narrowed eyes, but then he ignores her behavior and turns back to Gemma. He doesn’t even glance at me.
“What is this?” Kate asks. “A double date?”
She sounds angry and her eyes are flashing dangerously. I stare at her and then at Asher. Is she jealous? I’ve suspected that she’s had a crush on Asher for some time now, but this looks like it might be more than a crush. I can’t quite figure out what’s going on, but the way she glances at Chloe even makes me shrink away. Kate is just like Helen. She doesn’t get mad often, but when she does she’s goes from 0 to 100 in ten seconds flat.
Asher flinches when Chloe’s eyes light up, and she leans into him. Her breasts brush against his arm and he looks away, embarrassed. Kate’s anger peaks and I shake my head. If she’s trying to keep her crush a secret, then she isn’t doing a very good job. At this rate, she definitely won’t be able to keep it from Carter, which I’m sure she’s been trying to.
Or maybe she can. I glance at Carter, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off Gemma once. My heart aches when he smiles at her. She leans into him and whispers into his ear, and he grins roguishly. I don’t even want to imagine what she said to him.
I take a bite of my food, but it tastes like cardboard. I sigh and push it away. I’m not hungry anyway. Gemma finally looks at me, as though she only just noticed I was there. She smiles at me sweetly.
“Ah, you’re Emilia, right? The pranks you and Carter pull on each other are hilarious. I’m always anxiously awaiting what you two will do next. You seem really close,” she says. Her smile wavers at those last words, as though she’s wondering just how close we are.
Carter shrugs and answers the unspoken question. “We’re not that close. She’s just my little sister’s nuisance of a best friend. Do you really think we’d be doing the shit we do if we even remotely liked each other?”
I stare at him with wide eyes. What? We’re not close? I don’t think we could’ve gotten any closer last weekend. And I’m a nuisance?
I bite down on my lip harshly to keep my emotions in check and look down at my tray. Even when our little war was at its height, I always considered us to be friends. Did he always see me as Kate’s friend instead of his own?
I try my best to smile at Gemma and nod. “Yeah, he’s right. We’re not that close. I’m just his sister’s bestie. You two look cute together, by the way.”
She looks relieved and smiles up at Carter with glowing eyes, but he’s looking at me. He looks dismayed to hear me confirm his words.
I smile politely at them and rise. “Excuse me, I’m not really hungry and I have some homework to finish anyway,” I say. I grab my bag and rush away, barely able to keep my tears at bay. Kate is so wrapped up in Asher that she doesn’t even notice me leave.
Chapter 21
Carter
I walk in after an extra long training session to find Kate and Emilia on the sofa, watching some chick flick. Emilia looks up and her breath catches. She stares at my body with longing and then drags her eyes away, her expression clouding. She’s mad at me, and she has every right to be. I’ve spent all day pushing her away, and it seems I’ve accomplished what I set out to do. So why do I feel so bad?
I drop onto the sofa next to Emilia in my usual seat. I want to be mad at her for ending things before giving us a chance, but I can’t stay away from her either. I can’t even play hard to get for a whole damn day.
Emilia tries her best to focus on the chick flick she’s watching, but she keeps glancing at me. I don’t think she even realizes she’s doing it, because she keeps catching herself and forcing her eyes back to the screen. It’s endearing as hell. I want to talk to her, but I don’t know what to say, especially with Kate sitting right next to her. I’m scared I pushed her too far away with the way I acted with Gemma today. I was so intent on creating distance between us, but after just a single day I’ve already had enough of it. I miss her. I miss seeing her smile and I miss talking to her. It was really tough to have her so close to me and not speak to her, to let Gemma fawn over me instead. I’m worried I really hurt her when I said that we aren’t close.
I’m still thinking about what to say when my phone buzzes. I grab it from my pocket and unlock it without thinking. I stare in shock at the message Gemma sent me and blink in disbelief. I only snap out of it when Emilia gasps. She looks at the photo of Gemma’s breasts with wide eyes. Her shock makes way for pure agony, and I click the photo away as quickly as I can. Her eyes stay on my phone and she blinks rapidly, as though she’s trying to blink away tears. She sniffs and gets up.
“I totally forgot to do Mr. Johnson’s homework,” she tells Kate, her voice trembling. “I gotta go.”
She walks away and just as she turns, I see a single tear fall down her cheek. Fuck. Emilia rushes away and slams the door behind her.
Kate frowns. “I thought she already did that. I guess she hasn’t finished it yet,” she says, focusing her attention back on the movie.
I run a hand through my hair. I was mad when she said we should forget what happened between us. I wanted to show her exactly what it’d be like if I did just that, but fuck. I never meant to hurt her, not like this. I don’t want her crying over me.
