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But I can't seem to help myself.
The more I try not to think about Elspeth, the more my mind turns to her.
Finding her in the alley tonight was acompletesurprise. I didn't expect any of the witches to be at the fight. I only found out about it because one of the pack members who is still loyal to me warned me about the fight, and I wanted to stop it before it ruined the new agreement we'd just made with the vampires. I also wanted to put Tala back in her place.
But when I saw Tala lunging at Elspeth, eyes glowing with the intent to tear her limb from limb, Ihadto stop her. I could play my reaction off as the result of fury at Tala's insurgency and a desire to protect one of the city's supernaturals. But I know the real reason why I saved Elspeth, and so does Tala. She saw it in my eyes when I looked back at Elspeth. She saw that I was protecting Elspeth because itmatteredto me. I revealed a weakness, which is never good.
But it didn't take much to shrink Tala back down to size. She may be full of spite and dangerous intentions, but she knows she can't overpower me—notyetanyway.
It did, however, take a bit more doing to end the fight itself. When I arrived, the two sides were evenly matched in size and strength. But the vampires were attacking with a zeal that would have soon tired out even my strongest pack members. If I hadn't arrived when I did, I'm guessing I would have had a handful of dead wolves on my hands by morning.
Fortunately, all it took was tossing my weight around a bit for both sides to back down and go their separate ways.
When we got back to the pack's territory, Tala disappeared into the woods to avoid talking to me and explaining her mutinous behavior. I scolded the wolves that followed her, restricted their movement within the pack, and threatened them with permanent banishment if they ever went against my command again. There were some voicing their concern that I wasn't being harsh enough, and that I should have thrown the traitorous wolves out. But I couldn't bring myself to do it.
After dealing with all of them, Ishouldhave gone back to bed to rest, since I'll need my strength to deal with Tala in the morning and smooth things over with Mickael and the coven. But I couldn't.
I couldn't stop thinking about Elspeth and the look of fear in her eyes when I blocked her from the wolf that was ready to rip open her neck.
So now I'm sitting here in her garden again, unable to rest until I'm sure she's okay.
I watch her for a few minutes while she sleeps. Even though I can't see into her head, I can tell she dreams a lot. She's always moving around in her sleep, like her mind is taking her on adventures.
I stay longer than I should. Maybe a part of me worries that since Tala didn't show her face back at the pack's camp, she's going to retaliate. And what better way to get back at me than to come after the woman I tried to protect? After all, Tala has a serious jealous streak, and now that she knows I care for Elspeth, my refusal to let her into my bed a few nights ago must sting even more.
Even though I'm being quiet, Elspeth suddenly wakes up. I stand, ready to turn and run, but then I think better of it. The last time I tried to do that, Elspeth ensnared me in a thorny rosebush. So, instead, I sit back down and wait.
I imagine she will either freak out and try to cast a spell on me again, or shout at me to go away and stay out of her garden.
Ineverimagined she would come to the window and open it. Or that I would leap into her bedroom.
This is unexpected.
I know I shouldn't do this. I should just turn and leave. But the problem is that I don'twantto leave. I want to be wherever Elspeth is. And by now, I'm pretty sure she knows I'm the wolf pack alpha.
I walk inside, still in wolf form, and stand in the corner of her bedroom trying not to appear scary.
"I really shouldn't be letting werewolves in through my bedroom window," she says softly.
I'm honestly not sure if she is talking to me or herself. Regardless, I'm glad she let me inside. She's brave, a lot braver than the other witches give her credit for.
"I have very powerful magic." She says it like a warning.
I'm not sure I believe that. I know she makes a fine healing potion and can cast a mean spell, but she's not a divination or cosmic witch. Green witches don't have the power of seeing the future or reading the stars; all they do is dabble in herbalism and alchemy. I don't see that as very threatening—unless maybe she slipped me a toxic poison.
"Why do you keep showing up in my garden and outside of my window?" she asks, sounding both annoyed and exasperated, and possibly also a little intrigued.
It's a much harder question for me to answer than it should be, but the truth is that I don't really know the answer myself. So I make up a lie on the spot.
I don'twantto lie to Elspeth, but I also don't want to look like a fool. I don't want to tarnish my powerful reputation by looking wearing my heart on my sleeve and stumbling over my words.
I take a moment, then shift into my human form to answer her.
She gasps audibly, and I'm not sure if it's because of the shock of watching me shift, or my sudden nudity. I try not to pay attention to her blushing cheeks, which look so smooth and rosy that I want to plant a kiss on each of them.
"There's a threat against the coven," I lie. "I've assigned some members of my pack to keep watch over you and the other coven witches, to protect you."
Elspeth stares at me with her jaw dropped, and I still can't tell if she's more shocked about my naked body or the news I've just given her.
