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“I’m not the same either, and I don’t expect either of us to be,” said Oriel. “I just want all three of us to make it work somehow. We’re all we have left now.”
Aspen stared out at the back portion of the Castle grounds which seemed empty. Beyond the wall, he could make out trees in the distance, and he knew the ocean lay beyond somewhere.
Aspen sank into the feel of his arms. For a moment, it was almost like when they used to sneak off together to go swimming and make love in the woods afterward. Except it wasn’t because they’d never be that innocent again. But if he could somehow keep getting through each day, maybe it’d be worth it if he had Oriel and Roth.
Oriel kissed his forehead. “Do you want to stay here while we’re gone? It’s a long trip, and I imagine we’ll be taking a ship for most of it. The river’s faster.”
Aspen knew he’d be pretty much useless. He had taken sword and archery lessons in his youth since Father had paid for them, and while he hadn’t been terrible, he hadn’t shown promise of being an epic fighter either. Besides that, it had been a long time since he practiced. One lucky crossbow shot didn’t mean shit.
“I think it might be best if I stay here for now,” said Aspen.
“Asara will make sure you’re taken care of. She has a court physician, you can eat in your rooms if you prefer no company, and she has a library if you wish to read. No one will make you eat in the Hall or socialize if you don’t want to. She’ll give you a horse to ride if you want to go out. Just…promise me that when I return, you’ll be here and that you’ll be okay.”
He was making Aspen promise that he wouldn’t kill himself.
“I’ll be here. Will you kill King Taven? He hurt me in the Hall once the others were dead.”
Oriel took a deep breath as his arms tightened. “Yes. I’m not keeping him as a prisoner. I’ll cut him into fucking little pieces if you want for hurting you and killing my family.”
“I just want him gone.”
Oriel and Roth left the next morning with a huge group of men. They’d take ships to the mainland, and use the Path River to get to the East Forest Kingdom. Aspen watched the ships move as he stood on the docks and could still feel the ghost of the hugs that Roth and Oriel had given him.
They might return. Or he might never see them again. It would be a while before they received any real news, and his stomach clenched at the weeks of waiting that lay ahead.
The court physician gave him a tincture from a glass bottle every morning as the days went on. He said it would help Aspen, although he didn’t see how. Nothing could erase what happened, and every day felt like an endless drag. He was living because Oriel and Roth would return, but it was like being in limbo.
He stayed in his rooms for the most part and slept a lot. It made the time pass, and if he didn’t have a nightmare, he didn’t have to feel anything. Other times he woke up crying and afraid. Once he sobbed for hours after he dreamed about Kard and Zale teaching him to play a card game.
Even though he’d never quite had the same feelings for them as he had for Oriel, it was still almost unbelievable at times that he’d never see any of them again. He wouldn’t even sit with King Leneer in his office and wonder how he managed to keep so many lords and various cities and holdings straight in his head. There wouldn’t be any more card games with Kard and Zale whining because Aspen had a good streak and kept taking their money.
He asked for the physician to give him medicine that would take away all thought and consciousness for hours and hours every day until Oriel and Roth returned, but the man clucked and said that wasn’t healthy.
Aspen said remembering the past and grieving over King Leneer and his dead sons wasn’t healthy either. The physician sighed and said he needed to keep taking the medicine for a while to see results.
The handwritten label on the clear bottle said “uplift.” That didn’t tell Aspen what was in the medicine, but he figured it was the physician’s own special formula.
He tried reading since he used to enjoy it, but it was often too hard to concentrate on the words for the most part, and he kept losing interest part of the way through. Sleeping was better.
Asara readied the rest of her men and sent the fleets away to head south and wait. She wasn’t going to fight. After Oriel and Roth had been gone for about three weeks, she came into his rooms one morning. Aspen was lying on the couch and waiting for the physician who was late.
“I have your medicine,” she said. “The physician’s not feeling well, so I said I'd give it to you since you know me. I’ll pour it for you.”
“He’s not very good if he can’t heal himself.”
Asara snorted. “Not everything's curable in a second.”
He knew that too well. The servants had left a pitcher of pin juice on the sideboard. Pin fruits were popular on the Isles, and he didn’t think the skinny green things were that great, but it masked the taste of the tincture which he hated. Everyone said the juice was good for a person too. Asara poured a glass and added in a good splash of the clear liquid from the bottle before she brought it over.
“Here. Drink it all up.”
“Thanks. I don’t think this stuff does much.”
“It takes time.”
“To do what?”
“It’ll help you…” She seemed to be looking for the right words. “It’s supposed to uplift the mind which will help you function better.”
