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Aspen turned his head away to look at the window. “Even if I tried to be with you both, I don’t know if I can live like this. I still feel it sometimes. It’s like I’m there, and even sleep doesn’t always keep it away. I still remember seeing them all die in the Hall, and in the hold…”
Roth crawled up onto the bed to take him in his arms. Aspen broke down into his coat while Roth stroked his hair and tightly held him.
“You can try, and let us help you. You know Oriel will punish at least one person responsible for this. The root. In war, a lot of King Taven’s men will die, including those that hurt you. I can’t guarantee they’ll all die, but I’m sure some will.”
Oriel would. If he was able to, he’d probably personally hunt down every single person that touched Aspen and make them beg for mercy before they died. He’d brutalized Captain Nalha not just to get out, but because his plan would have led to his sailors hurting Aspen.
“Maybe you should talk to him,” said Roth. “Without nasty words. We’ll be leaving soon, and you should decide if you’ll come with us or stay here for now. We can get you later, and if you stay, you’ll be taken care of here.”
Talking to Oriel made Aspen’s guts churn even though a part of him did want to. “He’s mad.”
“He’s not mad. He’s just hurt.”
Keeping quiet this time might bring regret later. Oriel wasn’t guaranteed to live through this, and Aspen might forever lose his chance if he refused to talk to him now.
He straightened up and sniffled. “All right.”
Oriel was sitting on his balcony when Aspen came to find him, and he hovered in the doorway that led to the sitting room. Oriel glanced at him and quickly focused his eyes beyond the railing.
“I didn’t tell Roth to speak to you, so if you’re pissed and ready to tell me how I’m shit, I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’m not.” Aspen rolled a button on his cuff as his throat tightened. “I-I’m sorry. For acting like that, signing the contract, everything.” It was all so inadequate, and the rest stuck in his throat.
Oriel hesitated like he still expected a pile of insults to be thrown in his face. “I’m not mad about the contract.”
“I wanted you to hate me so you’d leave and forget me because you’ve got Roth. That’s why I yelled this morning.”
“I’ll never hate you or forget you,” said Oriel. “I am with Roth, but…I still love you. I did since those days when we went to the beach and the woods. I still loved you even when I didn’t speak to you for two years, and I’m sorry for that. I had my head shoved so far up my ass…”
Aspen came forward to sit on the bench. “Would you really come back for me if I stay here?”
“Yes, I would.”
Aspen leaned forward, and Oriel immediately took him in his arms as he started to cry. “I want you to come back for me.”
“I will.”
“I missed us, and how things used to be. I want that again.”
“When I come back, we’ll have that again.”
“Roth is okay with it if we love each other,” said Aspen.
“He told me that already,” said Oriel. “Most of his kind are rather possessive, but some are fine with poly. He said he’ll be possessive of us both.”
“He told me about the other thing he’s into and why.”
Oriel glanced away for a moment. “It’s not like we’ll do that in front of you. You don’t have to participate or anything.”
“Are you going to love him more than me?”
Oriel tilted his head. “I’m not going to love him more.”
“He’s better than I am.”
“This isn’t about who’s better. I love you both, and that’s that.”
“Roth’s not all messed up in his head. I’m not like how I used to be, okay? Getting through a single day is a struggle.” Aspen couldn’t even fathom sex, and Roth could give Oriel a lot more in all ways.
