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Cassia:
I was still feeling lost and not knowing what to do about Blade even though it had been a day since the whole terrifying incident had happened. At times, I wondered if I imagined it all, except I knew it was all too real. Yesterday, after he and Jake had left, it was all I could do to keep working and acting like nothing was wrong. I did end up burning a couple of batches of cookies, which I never did.
Jan had worked and was her usual bitchy self. I tuned her out as best as I could. The whole time I worked and even after I left and went home, I couldn’t stop formulating a way to get away from here and Blade. I felt eyes on me when I left to go home for the day and I knew it had to be Blade. I didn’t see him, but I knew he was there. Late last night, I swore I heard what sounded like motorcycles close to my apartment, but looking out the window, I didn't see any.
Another day had begun, and I was no closer to figuring out how to get out of town without being caught. I hated the thought of leaving all my stuff behind. Not that it was expensive or anything, but it was all mine. I bought it with the money I earned. I owned something which was a first for me. Women weren’t supposed to own anything just like we weren’t supposed to have thoughts of our own or the freedom to do whatever we wanted. Even after this long, I fought to subdue those teachings every day.
I’d calmed down enough to realize it was doubtful Blade was hired to take me back. That had been my panic talking. I wish I hadn’t said it out loud, because now, I knew he wouldn’t leave it alone. He was determined to find out what I meant. I could tell that by his expression yesterday. It wasn’t something I planned on sharing with him or anyone else. Who could understand it unless they’d lived it?
“Are you done daydreaming, so you can get your ass out front and help me?” Jan hissed.
“I’m not daydreaming and I am helping. I had to come back here to get more muffins, Danishes, and those lemon bars. We’re almost out. You back here snapping at me isn’t waiting on people either. Why don’t you do your job?” I snapped back. It was the first time I’d responded in kind to her. I saw I’d surprised her.
“Well, just hurry up,” she said, before stomping back to the counter.
I did hurry, but not because of her. I didn’t like to keep the customers waiting. I might not get to interact much with them, but I did enjoy seeing and knowing that my baking made people happy, just like doing the actual baking made me happy. I quickly filled the display cases then went to the second cash register to wait on the next customer in line. My heart jumped when I saw Jake. He wasn’t in his uniform today. I dropped my gaze away from his piercing one.
“What can I get you?” I asked him softly.
“Hi, Cassia. How’re you doing today?”
“I’m fine. How can I help you?”
“I’m not here to make you uncomfortable. I did want to make sure you’re alright. I know yesterday was upsetting for you. I hope you won’t hold it against me and Blade. He’s only concerned about you.”
“I appreciate the concern, but there’s no need for it. I just want to be left alone. Do you want something? Because if not, you’re holding up the line.” I used my chin to gesture toward the long line behind him.
He sighed. “I’ll have a large to-go black coffee and one of those lemon bars, please.”
I turned away to get it. The quicker I did, the quicker he’d leave. When I turned back around to hand him his coffee, I gasped. I would’ve spilled the hot coffee on my hand if it didn’t have a lid on it. Standing with Jake was Blade.
His keen eyes were searching my face. His brow was furled like he was frowning. He looked as tired as I felt. I didn’t sleep much last night. I set down the cup and moved off to get the lemon bar. As I was bagging it, Blade moved down to stand in front of the display case.
“Will you please look at me? I’m not here to hurt you, Boo. I want to talk. You get off work in an hour. I’ll be back. We’ll go somewhere quiet and talk. Don’t think about running. I’ll be waiting,” he said before walking away and out the door.
My hands were shaking when I rang up Jake’s order. As he handed me money, he gently gripped my hand. “You have nothing to worry about. He’s on your side and would never hurt you. Just listen to him.”
All I could do was nod. For the next hour, I worked as if on autopilot. I don’t know what I said to people or what I did once I was free to return to the kitchen. All I know is when it was time to leave, the kitchen was clean and more help had arrived to finish off the day. I didn’t bother to say goodbye. I rushed out to my car parked in the back as usual. I wasn’t surprised to find Blade leaning against his bike, which was parked behind my car. I came to a halt and stared at him.
We stood there saying nothing, just watching each other. Finally, he broke the tense silence. “I’d like it if you’d take a ride with me, but I figure that’s too much to ask. Is there someplace we can talk that you’d like to go to?”
“No. I don’t really think we have anything to talk about, Blade. I’m not going to go on a date with you. I want you to stop following me. I want to be left alone.”
“Baby, I can’t do that. I’m sorry. I can swear to you that I mean you no harm, but I can’t ignore what’s between us or the fact you’re scared and running from someone. I can help.”
My anxiety increased hearing him say that. Darn it, he hadn’t given up on finding out what I meant yesterday. I could kick myself for saying anything. As for his remark about what was between us, that scared me too. I didn’t know what it was. All I knew was he made me feel things I’d never felt. He made me want things I knew weren’t anything I’d enjoyed or wanted to experience again.
“I’m not running from anyone. You misunderstood me. I was scared and rambling. Now I’m thinking clearly. There is nothing between us and there never will be. I don’t like men, so you see, that means whatever you want from me isn’t happening. If you don’t mind, I need to get home. I have things to do.”
I moved toward the driver’s door, but he was there in a flash. His hands gripped my upper arms. It wasn’t a grip that hurt, but it did hold me still. I had to look up at him.
“You’re not attracted to men, huh? Well, then this shouldn’t affect you then,” he whispered, right before he lowered his head and his mouth touched mine. I waited for him to force his tongue into my mouth and to roughly kiss me. Instead, what I got was the softest kiss ever.
He nibbled gently on my lips between placing kisses all over my mouth. His tongue teased the seam between my lips but didn’t force its way inside. His hands moved to tug me closer and one gripped the back of my neck. Again, not too hard. He tilted my head the way he wanted and increased the pressure slightly.
My nipples responded to his kissing. They grew hard and tingled. That wasn’t the only thing tingling. Tiny bolts of fire seemed to be finding their way to my core. My pussy throbbed and was damp. I didn’t know what was happening. That had never happened to me before. Or at least not until I met him. At night, when I thought of him, this happened and I’d been bold enough to touch myself down there, to see what it meant. All I got was more frustration.
I knew enough now to know that some women had orgasms. I just hadn’t ever had one. I was doomed to be one of the unfortunate ones. One who couldn’t accomplish that. A part of me was dying to experience it at least once in my life. See, I wasn’t attracted to men, or at least none who weren’t Blade. The man I couldn’t have.
