AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Tonya: Chapter 7
“I want to ask you about Dan. What are your feelings about him now? I know it’s been two years since you and he split up then got a divorce.” He stared intently at me. I wasn’t sure I knew what he wanted me to say. I cleared my throat and flexed my fingers.
“I’m not sure what you’re exactly asking me, Law. Yes, we haven’t been together in two years. It sometimes seems longer than that and other times shorter. As for how I feel, I hate what he’s become. In particular, I hate how he is toward his own children. He acts like they’re nothing to him unless he can use them to his benefit. All his protestations that he wants to be a family again are ridiculous. He barely paid any attention to the twins when we were married. He was never the affectionate fatherly type you see around here. Maybe if he had been, I would’ve been willing to try and save our marriage. He’s selfish and cares only for himself.”
“I got that impression. What else? Do you still have feelings for him personally?”
“Are you asking me if I still love him?” I asked in surprise. Why would he want to know that? He nodded slowly. He had an intense look on his face.
“No, I don’t still love him. I’m not sure if what we had was love, to be honest. I sometimes think I let lust and his persona blind me into thinking we had more than we did. I didn’t really date until I met him. When I accidentally got pregnant, I let his declarations of love push me to say yes to marriage.”
“He was your first lover?”
His bold question made me blush. I didn’t want to have this conversation with a man let alone with Law. However, his direct stare somehow made me confess anyway. I nodded my head yes.
“Have you dated anyone since the divorce or had any kind of relationship?”
I jumped to my feet and began to pace. I couldn’t just sit there, feeling like I was being cross-examined. However, despite that, I couldn’t seem to stop the conversation or refuse to answer him. The authority that was coming off him in waves was intense. I tried to redirect the conversation.
“Law, I don’t know why you need to know any of this. Dan and I are no more. He’s the father of my children, period. That isn’t going to change. How much of a father he will be remains to be seen. Odds aren’t good that he’ll be much of one. I don’t have time to fight him. I need to take care of the kids and make sure they grow up knowing right from wrong and how to be good people.”
“Just answer the question. Have you dated or had a relationship with anyone since the divorce? No one will think less of you if you say yes. God knows it sounds like he’s been more than seeing women.”
“He has. He hasn’t hidden it. Or should I say, he hadn’t until recently when he lied and said he wasn’t seeing the woman he cheated on me with.”
I stopped. Law didn’t say anything. He just waited. I decided I’d go get my kids. This was stupid. I didn’t make it halfway to the door before he had me wrapped in his arms. I couldn’t help but admire how strong they were. His mouth grazed my ear as he softly said, “Tell me, now.” The hard authority had me opening my mouth and confessing.
“No, I haven’t been on a date or had a relationship with anyone since. There. Are you satisfied?” I snapped, feeling pissed that he’d made me confess that. It was humiliating.
“Almost,” he muttered, right before he whirled me around in his arms until I faced him.
As my eyes met his, he lowered his head and sealed his lips to mine. I gasped in surprise, which only allowed him to slip his tongue into my mouth. It wasn’t a peck on the lips. It was a kiss unlike any other I’d ever had. I thought I knew what kissing was but I was wrong. Law took command of my mouth and made love to it.
His lips teased mine. His teeth nibbled and nipped at my lips. His tongue wrestled with mine and teased me. It stroked along my tongue and inner cheek. It flicked back and forth with mine. All I seemed able to do was cling to him and kiss him back, following his lead. I have no idea how long we kissed before he groaned low and long and moved away from me. We were both breathing hard. I put my hand to my mouth. My lips were tingling.
He stood there with his head lowered, breathing hard. Through my shock, a jolt of panic hit me. He’d kissed me but it was obvious that he was regretting it. Before I could say anything, he lifted his head.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Forgive me. I hope you’ll forgive me. I wasn’t thinking. I’ll leave you for the rest of your evening. I’ll have them send the kids over. Goodnight, Tonya.”
He was out the door before I could say a word. It slammed shut behind him. I sank to the floor. As the reality of what happened sank in, I lowered my head and cried. I’d just had the most earth-shattering experience of my life. It hadn’t even involved sex, and the man who’d given me that had run. He was regretting it. What in the world should I do? I couldn’t very well stay here and see him every day. It would be an embarrassing reminder for us both, plus painful for me on top of it. However, there was Dan to consider. I knew from earlier that he’d posted bail and was out of jail. Also, I didn’t want anything to hurt my relationship with Soleil and Falcon.
I sat thinking for a while before I got up and brushed myself off. I knew what I had to do. First, my children needed to come home. It was time for bed and then I needed to work. Tomorrow would be here soon enough to fix this mistake.
??????
Last night was a very restless night. After I got the kids home and to bed, I’d tried to work, but I hadn’t done a very good job of it. Even after I gave up, sleep wouldn’t come. I tossed and turned and couldn’t stop thinking of that kiss and how Law acted afterward. A knot of shame burned in my stomach.
Had I said or done something that made him think I was desperate for a man’s touch? Something had driven him to kiss me before realizing it was a mistake. I knew his history. He was still in love with his dead fiancée, Frankie. She’d been dead for eight years and he still loved her. She must have been some kind of woman. Even in death, he couldn’t stop loving her. I bet he wished more than anything she was the one he’d kissed last night, not me.
The kids were up very early as usual. I was already awake. I hurried to get them fed and dressed. We had a lot to do. As soon as they were, I left them to watch a cartoon, so I could get the other chores done. As soon as it was done and I had everything I needed, I packed them into their car seats.
At the gate, I was relieved to see that no one was standing guard. It was still early morning, and I knew from staying here they didn’t have the manpower to guard it all the time. Typically, they only did it in the evening. It was set up to open automatically when it sensed a car near it on the inside of the gate. It easily and silently opened. I pulled out and headed into town.
I knew it was a risk to go back to our apartment, but I was chancing it. Dan knew that if he came after me again, it would mean more than a night in jail. Along with finding out he’d posted bail, I found out first thing this morning that a temporary restraining order had been granted. In two weeks, we’d go before the judge to hopefully get it made long term, at least a year. They assured me, whichever cop called, I forgot his name, that Dan had been issued the notice. Apparently, the judge had authorized it over the weekend.
I didn’t stop at the apartment longer than it took to unload our stuff and put it in there. I wasn’t going to hang around here today. I knew Soleil and possibly even Law might come knocking as soon as they realized I’d left the compound. He’d come even if he didn’t want to if the club ordered him to do it. I didn’t want to deal with them. In order to ensure that, I even turned off my phone. I didn’t want to hear the rings and dings from calls or texts.
Today, it was going to be all about me and my kids. I was taking the day to spend it having fun with them. I’d recently researched places to take the kids around Knoxville. We hadn’t explored it when we lived here the first time. It was time I rectified that. I’d found several things that kids the age of mine might enjoy. Dylan might not as much, but that was fine.
