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Armed with a stroller, which I’d gotten a while back, that was big enough for all three of them, if needed, we headed to our first destination. Every kid loved the zoo. I found out mine were no exception. We spent hours walking and exploring the place. The kids were enthralled, even Dylan. Dena and Daniel had a million questions, which helped to occupy my mind and keep me from obsessing over Law and our kiss.
After spending hours there, we went and had lunch at a pizza place. Sauce was smeared from ear to ear, but they enjoyed it. I couldn’t help but laugh at them. They made my heart feel less heavy. After lunch, I decided to take them to one more place. I wasn’t ready to go home. There was a huge park in Knoxville that was filled with so much open space, right in the heart of the city. The green grass, trees, and plants were beautiful, and the kids loved the splash pads and fountains where they got soaked. We spent a few hours there, including going up into a sphere to observe the park below.
It was late, after six, before we headed home. Hopefully, if anyone had come looking for us, they’d gone back to the compound. I turned on my phone long enough today to send a text. It had dinged continuously with messages that I didn’t read. I only had it on long enough to tell Soleil we were fine and safe and that we were having family time. I asked her not to worry and not to have the club come looking for us. I told her I’d explain later.
I knew I’d have to figure out what to tell her as an excuse for leaving and not going back. Even though she was my best friend, I didn’t relish the thought of telling her about the kiss and how Law had reacted. It was humiliating. Maybe there was a reason Dan had cheated on me. Maybe I just wasn’t enough for a man. What did I know about sex and intimacy? The only person I’d ever been intimate with was Dan. In the beginning, he’d acted like he enjoyed what we did. We had sex often. I had found it enjoyable, although I didn’t seem to have orgasms like I read about in books.
In my case, if I had one, it was mildly pleasurable. Never had I had more than one or one that affected my entire body. I hadn’t asked Soleil if she did with Falcon. I think I didn’t want to know that books were true and I was the faulty one.
As I pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex, I groaned. Sitting on his bike, staring at me, was Law. He didn’t look happy. I decided not to get the kids out of the car. They could sit there a few minutes while I spoke to him and sent him on his way. They didn’t need to hear what was said. Besides, all three of them were passed out.
I parked down from him and got out. He charged toward me, and I held up my hand. I hoped we were far enough away from my car that the kids wouldn’t wake up and hear us. “Stop right there, Law. I’m tired and my kids are too. They need their dinner and bed. Whatever lecture you have in mind, save it. I’m not in the mood. Go home. Leave us alone. We’re fine.” I hoped by standing up to him and being stern, he’d listen. I was an adult after all. I could do whatever I wanted without his permission.
Apparently, he had other ideas. He kept charging toward me and before I could get back to my car, he grabbed me by my upper arms. He gripped me tight enough to keep me from easily getting loose, but not enough to hurt. He was angry and something else. My heart sped up. He gave me the tiniest shake before he started talking.
“Do you know how fucking worried I’ve been all day? I’ve been going insane, wondering if Dan had gotten his hands on you and the kids. Wondering if he had you somewhere, hurting you or worse. You shut off your goddamn phone. No one knew where you were. Why the fuck did you leave the compound, Tonya? Why? Is it because of the kiss? I’m sorry. I told you that. It won’t happen again, I swear.”
Hearing him admit he wouldn’t kiss me again hurt. I shoved at his chest. He didn’t budge or let go of me. I decided to lay out my thoughts and play it calmly. He couldn’t make me do anything I didn’t want to do. I was an adult. I was my own boss. He wouldn’t hurt me. He was a cop. “Law, let go of me this second or I’ll scream.”
Surprise filled his expression then he let go of me. He didn’t move away. I was the one to step away from him. He didn’t take his eyes off me.
“I appreciate what you and the club did for me. I hope you know that. However, when I came to the compound, it was with the understanding it was only temporary, just until Dan was found. He has been. You had him arrested, and he was issued a temporary restraining order. I got the call this morning. He’d be a fool to violate that. It’s perfectly safe for us to go home, which is what I did. That kiss had nothing to do with it. In fact, I’d like it if we could forget it ever happened and never speak of it again. I took my kids out for a fun day. That’s it, not that I owe you an explanation. I don’t need or want a babysitter. You’re released from guard duty. I’ll speak to Terror and let him know I’ve released you. Go back to the compound and leave us to get on with our lives.”
He took a step toward me, and I stepped back. He stopped. His fists were clenched at his sides. His expression was tormented. Did he really think he had to protect me that much? I knew being a prospect meant he had to do whatever the members told him, but surely they wouldn’t hold my refusal to allow it against him.
“Tonya, we need to talk. Please, let me help you get the kids inside and settled. I don’t like you out here in the open like this. Things got mixed up last night. I know that. I need to explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain. I’ve asked you to leave. Please do it. I need to take care of my children.”
I turned my back on him and went to the car. He didn’t leave. When I woke them up and helped them out of the car, I saw him start to come toward us. I shot him a warning look. He stopped, although he didn’t leave. The kids saw him. To my consternation, Daniel and Dena ran over to him. He crouched down to speak to them softly and hug them. It put tears in my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. Picking up Dylan, I called them, telling them to leave him alone and come with me. They reluctantly came to me.
I ignored Law as I herded them to our apartment. They kept begging me to let Law come inside. I told them that he was busy and had to leave in a minute. I hated shutting the door on him, but I did. The only way to break whatever bond I’d started to think I was forming with him was to cut him out of our lives completely. My kids didn’t need to get attached to a man who wasn’t going to stick around or be in their lives in a significant way.
I fought not to keep going to the window to see if his bike was out there. I hadn’t heard it start up, but it was too far away to hear it. I worked to keep my mind on the kids. After a quick dinner, a bath, then a couple of stories, they were out by eight thirty. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to go to bed myself. Tonight, I think I’d skip working. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyway.
Grabbing a bottle of cheap wine, I shut off the lights in the living room and kitchen and went to my room. I shut the door and went into my bathroom. Our place was tiny, only two bedrooms and two baths, but it worked for us. The twins slept in a bed together and Dylan had a crib in their room. At first he slept in mine, but I was too restless and kept him awake.
I started the bath water. While it heated and started to fill the tub, I stripped then poured myself a glass of wine. It had been a while since I had done this. I went into the bedroom and grabbed my e-reader. Maybe I could find a book to read. I poured some bubble bath into the water and got in. It wasn’t a deep tub that allowed the water to cover me to my neck, unfortunately, but it would have to do. I sank down until the bubbles covered me as much as they could and turned on my e-reader.
I spent a good twenty minutes there soaking, drinking, and perusing the book selection. By the time I settled on one I thought I might like, I was starting to prune and I felt mellower. I drank two glasses of wine. I usually only had one. Getting out of the bath, I quickly dried off, dressed in my tank and short sleeping set, and put on my face cream. I brushed my teeth and left the bottle of wine and glass on the counter. I’d clean it up in the morning.
I came strolling out to my bedroom. I was looking at my e-reader and not paying attention. If I had, I might have seen him. Instead, my only warning was when arms came around me. I dropped my e-reader and opened my mouth to scream as I began to struggle to get loose. Panic filled me. It was the rough familiar voice in my ear that finally registered and caused me to stop fighting. I think it was due to shock.
“Tonya, it’s me, Law. Stop. I’m not here to hurt you. I only want to talk.”
I tried to turn my head, but I couldn’t. Not with the way he held me and had my mouth covered. I shook it a little, trying to convey to him I wanted him to remove his hand. He must have understood me.
“I’m going to remove my hand, but don’t scream. I don’t want the neighbors calling the cops. Nod if you promise not to scream.”
I thought about nodding then doing it anyway, but I realized I didn’t want to get him into trouble. Not if he was being honest about only wanting to talk. Maybe I was a fool, but I nodded. When he let go, I didn’t scream. I pulled myself out of his arms and put distance between us though. In fact, I put my bed between him and me. I stared at him in shock.
“What in the world were you thinking, breaking into my apartment and my bedroom? Have you lost your mind? I don’t know what has gotten into you, but you need to leave, Law. Right now,” I hissed. I tried to sound firm and as if I had control over him.
“I’m not leaving until you hear what I have to say. After that, if you insist, I’ll leave, but you’re not going to be out here in the open without protection. It might not be me, but someone from the club will watch over you and the kids.”
“I don’t need anyone to do that! I can take care of us. I’ve been doing it for two years. I got scared before when Dan grabbed me and I panicked. I’ve had time to think about it now. He’s an asshole but he’s not going to hurt us. So that’s that. I can’t think of anything else we need to talk about. I’ll talk to Soleil and thank Terror for the club’s hospitality. I hated leaving without saying goodbye, but I knew you’d all be stubborn and insist on us staying. Thank you for what you did. I’ll be sure to let Terror know you did your duty, so it counts toward you getting your cut.” I figured he had to be worried this would negatively impact his bid to become a member. I wanted to reassure him I wouldn’t allow it.
“You think I give a fuck about whether this hurts my chance to become a member of the Warriors? I couldn’t care less. I care about you and your kids. I care about you. The thought of something happening to you is making me demented,” he practically yelled.
