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Sara shrugs. “I’m all for it if you are. But if this is bothering you, then I’ll go over and gouge his eyes out for you."
A sputtering laugh escapes me. Trust my bestie to always be loyal. “Even if he’s Leo Mackenzie?” I ask teasingly, somehow feeling lighter than I did when I first arrived.
“No man is safe,” she says with a firm nod. “But seriously, Alex. I think it’ll be fine. But it’s up to you guys to either pretend it never happened, or address it and move on from it.”
I take a long sip from my drink, blowing out a breath once I’m done. The only problem is, I have no idea what the right call is.
9
LEO
My gloved fist collides with the sandbag, the sound a dull thump that continues as I keep jabbing my fists. Sweat trickles down my temple and jaw, heart in a steady beat and quiet grunts escaping me with every contact. Music plays through my home gym, but I barely hear it as I continue my workout. JJ holds the punching bag, hands on either side of it as his blue eyes track my movements.
A good few feet away, Caden is lifting while Reed spots him. We don’t have formal training or practice today, so the guys came over to work out here, which has become a tradition of sorts. No set day for it—just when we all are in the mood to work out on a day off but not at the training facility, so we do it at my place. My skin is hot and slick with sweat as my frustration is channeled into my fists, pounding the bag harder and harder with every hit.
“You good, man?” JJ asks, blue eyes inquisitive as he eyes me from around the bag.
My concentrated gaze doesn’t shift to him as I grunt out, “Fine. Why?”
I can practically feel his unconvinced gaze. “You’ve been pounding on this thing for almost fifteen minutes without a break. I’m guessing you’ve got some shit on your mind.”
My jaw tightens, teeth gritted together with my movements. He isn’t wrong. JJ may be the loudest out of the four of us, but the guy is scarily attuned to other people’s moods and feelings. “It’s nothing.”
It’s a lie. A straight up damn lie because thereissome shit on my mind—which I haven’t admitted to my friends yet. To be fair, I have been processing what I almost did the night before last, unsure of how to even bring it up in conversation, and half afraid of what the guys would even say. Almost kissing my nanny? There is a very thick, very prominent line there, and I still toed the hell out of it.
Alex and I hadn’t seen each other yesterday, and I’m not sure if that is convenient or not. I gave her the morning off, and when it was time for me to leave the house and for her to start, she had given me a brief greeting upon entering and then rushed up the stairs to wake Lilah up from her nap. And although a part of me wanted to linger, to talk, I found myself walking out of the house—and thinking of Alex through all of the meetings and press junkets I had attended.
Her smile, her eyes, her laugh—the briefest feel of her lips. I thought of it all, wondering what it would be like to touch her, to hear her moan, to be the reason for her racing pulse.
It had been distracting, to say the least.
When I got home, right before Lilah’s bedtime, she had wanted me to read to her before she went to sleep, so Alex had quietly slipped back to the guest house. I had to stop myself from going over and talking to her after Lilah was asleep. Clearly, Alex is avoiding me, and the thought alone has me sending another hard and fast punch to the bag in front of me, a low growl of frustration escaping me as I do.
Fuck me, things are weird now, but I need to apologize to her. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable, like she can’t be in the same room as me. The small voice in my head that views everything through a public figure’s perspective is screaming at me to get ahead of this, in case Alex files some kind of complaint of sexual harassment with her agency. Truthfully, I don’t think she would, but there is also a part of me that wouldn’t blame her if she did. Maybe I misread things. Maybe she isn’t as willing to cross the line the way I was.
Either way, I need to talk to her. Just to see if she’s okay. If only I can get her to stop fleeing the room every time I walk in.
“It’s definitely something,” JJ says. I glance at him and see him raising an eyebrow. “You can talk to us, man.”
You learn to be a private person when millions of eyes are watching you. But I have never been that much of a private guy when it comes to the three men in this room. My muscles relax as I straighten up, letting my arms fall to the side as I exhale roughly. JJ lets go of the punching bag, coming out from around it with eyebrows furrowed together as he watches me expectantly.
My heart thuds now, the adrenaline noticeable now that I am not throwing punches. As I unwrap the Velcro from the gloves and shove them off, I don’t meet anyone’s gazes as I finally let my words escape, “I almost kissed Alex the other night.”
I hear the clang of the barbell being put back in its place, silence following my words save for the rock and roll eighties music still playing through the home gym. When the gloves drop to my feet, I lift my gaze, and three sets of stunned gazes are staring directly at me.
Caden is sitting up on the bench press, sweat coating his skin as he demands incredulously, “Youwhat?”
Reed shakes his head. His usual stoic expression is replaced by one of surprise—eyebrows raised up high—the most he will let show. “You can’t be serious, Leo,” he says, his words wrapped in a huff of a disbelieving laugh. When I purse my lips, jaw tightening, Reed’s eyes widen a little. “Jesus fuck, man.”
I grab a small towel, wiping my neck as my jaw works. “Not my finest fucking moment,” I mutter, reaching for a water bottle next.
“Dude, what the hell?” JJ asks with a disbelieving laugh of his own, gaping at me. “How does that even happen?”
I throw him an exasperated look. “What, you want a play by play? It justhappened.” I huff out a breath. “Oralmosthappened.”
Reed runs his fingers through his hair, fixing me with another look. “So, what now? Is she still your nanny?”
Caden rolls his eyes. “We literally saw her when we got here, dude,” he points out, which only makes Reed roll his own eyes.
