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I watch through a hooded gaze as Alex’s eyes flutter shut, her lips parting ever so slightly. Even with her eyes closed, the want is clear in her expression, in the way I can practically feel her body heat up. The rest of the way, in this moment, slips away into nothingness until all I am aware of is Alex.
And the way she whispers, “Kiss me.”
Even though I should hesitate, even though I should double check and make sure she is okay with it, I don’t.
I surge forward, a month’s worth of want and need rushing through me as my hands cup Alex’s cheeks and I crush my lips to hers, kissing her in the kind of way I have been yearning to do so. Caution is thrown so far out the window it is hardly visible as Alex’s mouth parts under mine, and my blood is on fire when her tongue slides against mine slowly, leisurely, teasingly. I groan quietly into the kiss, into the feel of her soft mouth and sweet taste, a hint of chocolate brownie batter making me smile into her.
Alex’s hands fisting the front of my tank, I can feel the way she pushes up and into me, the kiss somehow desperate and slow at the same time. Every part of me feels like it is on fire, having her so close and finally getting a taste, then turning us until her lower back is against the counter and my front is pressing into hers. A quiet sound escapes her as my tongue teases hers, fingers tangling in her hair to keep her close.
My heart is thundering in my chest, rattling my damn ribs, feeling it in my head and throat and cock with every slide of her tongue against mine, her lips sucking my bottom one into her mouth. Fuck me, I can’t get enough, electricity charging my blood.More, more, more.
I’m seconds away from fucking her on this counter when the shrill sound of an alarm pierces the space, and Alex jerks away from me with a gasp. My own breathing is heavy, trying to get some air in my lungs after willingly giving it away to Alex. She is still caged between me and the counter, looking up at me with blown up pupils within those bright blue eyes, cheeks flushed and lips so obviously swollen and pink. Her chin and the skin around her mouth are slightly reddened as well because of my facial hair scratching her skin, and the sight drives me a little crazy. My pulse doesn’t ease even as her grip on my shirt loosens, staring at me with widened eyes, shocked at what just happened. I brace myself for the regret to swim in her gaze, but it doesn’t come.
Instead, she says breathlessly, “The brownies are done.”
Despite myself, I feel the corner of my mouth tip up, licking my lips and still tasting her on them. “Better make sure they don’t burn.”
Alex’s throat works as I reluctantly step back, and she slides away from me, walking around the counter and grabbing oven mitts before opening the door. My gaze is trained on her, trailing down to her ass when she bends over to pull the brownie tray out, rubbing a hand over my mouth and thanking the universe for the invention of yoga pants.
I watch as Alex puts the pan of brownies on the counter next to the stove to cool down, probably waiting for it to be cool enough to take out the brownies so she can use the pan to put in the second batch. I make a mental note to get more baking pans for them.
“Um. So.” Alex turns around, exhaling heavily as her gaze meets mine from the other side of the counter. Once again, it separates us, and after having her so close, feeling her against me, I need the gap to disappear once again. “That happened.”
A ghost of a smile touches my mouth at her slightly nervous tone. But I flatten my lips, expression turning serious as I ask her carefully, “Are you okay that it happened?”
Her eyes widen slightly, as if she didn’t expect me to ask that. She considers my question for a moment, my chest squeezing as she looks at me with those blue eyes—that have flecks of green in them, which I now know. “I probably shouldn’t be okay with it,” Alex says, her voice quiet. “I know the consequences if my bosses found out—”
“They won’t find out,” I tell her firmly, eyebrows furrowing together. My feet are moving of their own accord, walking around the counter towards Alex, who turns when I approach her so she can face me. Gaze locked on hers, I say, “No one is going to know what happened, Alex. Your job is not going to be at risk. You don’t need to worry about that.”
Alex shakes her head, and I see the conflict in her expression, the way her eyebrows furrow together and lips turn downwards. “I shouldn’t have put it at risk in the first place,” she says, her eyes slowly widening as she comes to some kind of realization. “I mean—what the hell am Idoing?” she asks with a disbelieving, incredulous laugh, gaze meeting mine. “Throwing away my career for—just for a kiss?”
My jaw clenches, eyes narrowing at how easily she threw away what just happened. I can’t blame her for it, but Icanmake things clearer. “It wasn’tjusta kiss, Alex,” I tell her tightly.
Her lips part, staring up at me in a new kind of disbelief. “It… wasn’t?”
A huff escapes me. “If all I wanted was a kiss, I would’ve kissed Jocelyn the other night.” I don’t miss the subtle flinch that goes through Alex at my words; so quickly that I would have missed it if I wasn’t watching her so intently. “It wasn’t just a kiss,” I repeat, my voice softening slightly and getting her to look back at me. “You and I both know it was more. Iwantmore.”
Alex inhales sharply. She stands so close, less than a foot of space between us, as her throat works. With another gentle shake of her head, Alex says, “I’m your daughter’s nanny, Leo. That makes things way too complicated.”
The truth of that weighs heavily on me, and I hate it. “I know,” I say, my jaw clenching briefly as my hands cup to gently grasp her upper arms. “But I know—” My throat works when her eyes lock with mine. “I know you felt something, Alex. There’s something here, and you know that, too. You don’t think that’s worth exploring?”
Alex’s gaze flickers to my mouth for a split second. “I think it’s risky,” she whispers. “For both of us.”
Logically, I know she’s right. If, somehow, it got out that we even kissed, Alex loses her job, and the media will have a field day over me hooking up with my kid’s nanny. A cliché if I have ever heard one, but frankly, I don’t give a shit about what kind of stories they run about me for the sake of scandal. However, Idocare if the stories will affect Lilah and Alex.
I want Alex—badly, desperately. This pull I feel every time she is near refuses to be ignored, and now that I have had a taste of her, the idea of never experiencing that again is like a kick in the chest. But if she isn’t of the same mindset as me and has no interest in exploring anything, then of course I will respect her decision. I’ll do whatever she wants.
“I know it is,” I tell her gently, my hands sliding up from her arms to her neck, gently grasping her cheeks. Alex doesn’t pull away from my touch; if anything, she relaxes into it, and I will take that as a good sign. “But if you want to give this a try, we don’t have to tell anyone. It’ll be just between us. We’ll see where it goes.”
“And if it doesn’t work out?” Alex implores. “Would you still want to keep me on as Lilah’s nanny?”
My throat works for a moment. “Would you still want to be her nanny?” I counter lightly.
Her gaze is locked with mine as she says, “I want whatever’s best for Lilah.”
It’s like she knows what the perfect thing to say is. That answer alone tells me why Alex is the kind of woman I want around—not just as Lilah’s nanny. I can tell she genuinely cares for my daughter, and Alex’s concern about the potential consequences of us trying things out being on my daughter’s best interests and not her job, speaks volumes of the kind of person she is. It only serves to intensify my feelings for her, which I finally allow myself to acknowledge.
My thumbs stroke her cheeks for a second. “I’m willing to give things a shot if you are.”
