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A resigned chuckle threatens to escape me. I’m sensing a pattern of hidden relationships between my friends and me. Hopefully JJ breaks that cycle.
“Well, in the beginning, there wasn’t much to keep under wraps,” Willow reminds me. She still looks at me curiously, a million questions swimming in those journalist eyes of hers. “It was mostly Reed being a dick and me trying not to kill him.”
A ghost of a smirk touches Reed’s mouth at his wife’s words. His gaze then meets mine and his expression sobers up. “But when we realized we wanted to be together and give things a shot, it seemed like a no brainer to try.”
I nod once, jaw tight. To Willow, I ask, “Even if you were risking your career? Your reputation?”
“That was definitely scary,” she says with a nod, leaning back on the couch and into Reed’s side. He pulls her in, like he can’t stand even an inch of space separating them, and I’m instantly thinking of Alex all over again—as if she ever left my thoughts in the first place. “But eventually I realized that some things are worth taking the risk for,” she adds with a soft smile, her gaze sliding lovingly to Reed. “I mean, it helped that my former boss told me that my worries were valid, but in the grand scheme of things, not a big deal. My question is—” Willow narrows her eyes at me. “Who is risking their career and reputation to be withyou?”
“I said no asking questions, remember?” My teeth grit together, unsurprised by her need to ask questions. It’s the journalist in her. “Just think of it all as a hypothetical, alright?”
Reed’s gaze is fixed on me, calculating, but I don’t meet his. Next to him, Willow snorts. “I still wouldn’t believe you,” she replies simply.
I scratch my jaw and shake my head. “I’d tell you, but I promised her I wouldn’t say anything until and unless we were both ready. And she’s not.”
“Well,” Willow says, and I know she isn’t going to push the matter, which I highly appreciate. “Whoever she is, you should make sure she knows that if her career gets impacted by the status of your relationship, then you will be there for her no matter what. Women are constantly being shit on for every single choice they make. It’s just the world we live in.” Her defeated tone has Reed clenching his jaw, and I can understand his frustration. As a father of a little girl, and as someone who cares deeply for Alex. With a gentle smile, Willow adds, “It just gets a little bit easier knowing there’s a good support system to back us up. It’s nice to have, even when it feels like the whole world is against us. Makes it less lonely, you know?”
And that’s really all I can do, isn’t it? I can’t promise Alex that people won’t make comments about us, I can’t promise her that she won’t lose her job at the agency she works for. It has been two days since she asked for time to think about things, and I can’t blame her for wanting to take the time for it. At the end of the day, I am asking her to either lose our barely started relationship, or risk losing her career. I so badly wish she could have both.
Later, when it is time for me to head out, Reed walks me to the front door. Standing in the threshold of his house, he looks at me with an unreadable expression and says, “You and Alex will figure things out.”
I freeze, quite literally feeling as though the earth decided to stand still at that very moment. My gaze slowly meets Reed’s, and I hope I am not giving anything away. Not confirming anything by my expression. My voice is steady as I say, “What makes you think this is about me and Alex?”
He smirks slightly, like he knows something I don’t, when in reality, shouldn’t it be the other way around? “You spend whatever time you’re not with us at home, Leo. There’s no other woman you’re around more than Alex. The part about her risking her career and reputation just confirmed my suspicion.”
I exhale slowly, roughly, through my nose. I’m not surprised he figured it out. It doesn’t take a genius, especially since Reed knows me better than most people. “And, what?” I shrug. “You have no comment? No digging into me for getting involved with my nanny?”
Reed arches a brow. “Did you sleep with her?”
My jaw clenches. “Yes.”
His head cocks to the side ever so slightly. “And you still want to be with her?”
I shoot him a glare. “Yes.”
“Then you obviously like her, and you’ve got more than enough on your plate,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder once. “Getting together is the easy part. Figuring shit out as you go is harder.”
“Yeah, no kidding.”
He flashes me a quick, rare grin. “If you both are willing to put in the work, you’ll make it through to the other side. It’s teamwork, man, and no one knows how to navigate that better than us. You’ll figure it out.”
I gape at him for a moment, feeling both pride and awe course through me. “Wasn’tIthe one givingyourelationship advice about you and Willow years ago?” I muse fondly.
Reed’s grin widens. “Yeah, and I ended up marrying the woman of my dreams,” he says, making a laugh escape me. “You and the guys helped me keep my head on straight. I’ll do the same for you. You can count on that.”
My throat works as I nod, gratitude washing over me like a wave. “I appreciate that, man.”
He squeezes my shoulder. “Anytime.”
14
ALEX
Being in New York City feels like a dream. I know we are only here for two and a half days, but the weather is perfect, the city is lively and beautiful, and I am more than excited to be here. It is the first away game I was able to come on with Lilah, and the only thing that would make this trip even more perfect is if Leo and I were on the same page when it came to what we are.
It’s been nearly a week since I asked for time to think about if and how I wanted to move forward with our relationship, and Leo has been a perfect gentleman about letting me have my space. He doesn’t push me on where I am at, even though I know it is killing him on the inside to not know what’s going on in my head. But I have needed these days. I needed them to think about my job, my career, and the question I have been secretly asking myself of whether I would keep nannying.
If I am being honest, the plan had been to go from nannying to becoming one of the agents at the company who connects nannies with families. A social worker who is almost a liaison in the beginnings of a nanny joining a new family. The hours would be far more normal, allowing me for the time I would need should I want to start a family of my own. It has always been in the back of my mind, and now I am wondering if it would be possible for me to still make that shift if I started dating Leo, unabashedly, to the point where I would be fine with people finding out about us.
