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“Punishing you.”
I shake my head, unable to cope with his answer. “Please don’t,” I beg.
“You can’t just leave out of the blue, then ignore my calls for three days, Clara.”
“I’m sor—” I can’t finish the words. There’s no good excuse for what I’ve done. I’ve hurt him, and I should take the consequence. But the idea of his anger combined with pain has me clutching my chest as I lose the ability to breathe anew. So I blurt out a poor excuse anyway. “It was just three days. We barely ever talked anyway. I didn’t think…”
I swear I see flames flaring in his eyes. I shrink back, shaking my head furiously as he takes another step closer.
“Take. Off. Your. Clothes. And get on your goddamn stomach,” he grits.
I’m scared now. I don’t dare to do anything but obey. So I scramble into action, tugging at my clothes and tossing them aside, then flop onto my stomach, biting down on my molars as I prepare to feel the brunt of hisanger.
Markus doesn’t grant me the comfort of his steadying touch like he usually does. Without preamble, he delivers the first smack with a force that echoes through the room.
“I’m so, so s-sorry,” I croak as pain crackles through my nerves, setting my nether region on fire.
The next blow lands with equal force, drawing tears to my eyes before the third strike sends me into a fitful bout of sobs.
I squeeze my eyes shut and clutch the sheets, trying to steel myself for another burst of pain, but it never comes. Nothing happens. It’s just me, my shame, and a riptide of emotion racking my body for several minutes.
Then I hear Markus moving, feel the mattress dipping as he jumps up beside me.
I’m wailing now, chanting “no, no, no.”
Then I’m in his arms. Gentle arms.
“I’m sorry, Clara. I’m just so damn mad at you.” He presses kisses all over my head, clutching me tight as if trying to erase the hurt he just caused. “And I miss you so fucking much.”
God, I want to tell him I miss him too, but I can’t get anything but desperate sounds and tears out. So I just sit there in his arms, letting it all roll through me.
When the tears finally recede, I’m drained. But this time, I feel something beyond emptiness as I burrow my head into his shoulder and let sleep claim me.
***
Markus is sitting on the edge of the bed, watching me like a hawk as I scoop up a forkful of the scrambled eggs he has prepared for me. He’s fully dressed, his hair extra curly like when it’s newly washed. He must have been up quite a while since he’s both taken a shower, been grocery shopping, and cooked breakfast. And I have slept through it all.
“You don’t have to watch me like that.” I put down the fork to tug the comforter closer around my chest.
His features remain hard as stone as he nods to the plate in my lap. “Eat.” His mood clearly hasn’t improved during the night.
Lowering my head, I spear a tiny sausage with the fork and keep my eyes trained on the plate as I chew.
The silence is blaring as I eat, sending my stomach into twisty knots, and it takes forever to finish the whole portion. I don’t have the appetite, but with the way he’s watching me, I don’t dare stop before I’ve eaten every single crumb.
I try to start a conversation to ease the mood, but I only get the same clipped, “Eat,” and quickly swallow my words.
Only when he takes my empty plate and sets it on the nightstand does he break the uncomfortable silence.
“What happened?” he asks, staring at me so hard I can’t look him in the eye.
Training my gaze on my fingers clutching the sheets, I gulp back the lump lodged in my throat. “I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Couldn’t take what?” he demands.
I chance a tentative glance up at him. “Grigory coming between us.” Then I lower my eyes back down. “Being stuck in this strange limbo with him.” I swipe my hand under my eyes as moisture starts to well in them. “Everything was falling apart, and I couldn’t see any other way.”
When Markus remains quiet, I look back up to find the same hard expression he’s been wearing ever since he came last night.
