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Complicated enough it didn’t even warrant a heads-up about this, apparently.
“He used to play for the Lakers, right?”
I nodded, still reeling from the news.
The new assistant coach.
My father was going to work here. With the team. On campus. And he hadn’t breathed a word of it to me. Or Mom, if her confusion yesterday was anything to go by.
“I… I don’t know what to say.”
“This will be a good thing, though, right? If he’s going to be here on campus, you can spend time together.”
“I’m not sure he’ll want that.” The words lodged in my throat.
“Harper,” Rory laid her hand on my arm, but I shook my head.
“Please, don’t. Not here. I need to stay focused.”
“Of course. But if you ever want to talk…”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
I just didn’t know where I would start.
Rory’s parents weren’t going to win any parent-of-the-year awards either, but there was still something deeply shameful about admitting that my father hated me.
Like if I gave the words life by admitting them out loud, it would somehow immortalize them, and I’d finally have to accept that things were never going to be any different.
I’d have to part with the tiny seed of hope that one day, he would see me for me.
That he would be proud of his daughter.
* * *
“I love Professor MacMillan, but someone has got to remove the stick from up her ass,” I murmured as we filed out of class.
“I don’t know. I kind of agreed with what she was saying. Women have always had to fight to redefine their place in society.”
“Yeah, but come on, Rory. It doesn’t all have to be some big feminist movement. Maybe Austen wanted to explore her own sexuality through the characters she created.”
She gave me a dubious look, and I snorted. “Look, I’m just saying maybe it isn’t always about wanting to change the world or tearing down the patriarchy. Maybe sometimes it’s about yourself, about filling a void. Or numbing some internal pain. Not everything is a social justice crusade.”
“Are you okay?” Concern etched into her expression. “You seem a little tense?”
“I just found out my estranged father is going to be working here. At the college I came to so I could escape my messed-up family. Oh, I’m fine.”
“Harper…” Sympathy glittered in her eyes.
“Relax, I am fine. At least, I will be.” I mustered up the best smile I could. “Nothing much will change, I’m sure. But I have news.”
“You do?”
“Yep. I’m visiting a community center out in Rushton later. They have some volunteer spots open, and it seems like a good fit.”
“Rushton? Isn’t that like an hour away?”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to be too close to campus.”
