AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Fuck no. My dad’s the hardest ass I’ve ever met. I’m talking drill sergeant status.”
“Yikes.”
“It is what it is. Anyways,” her pitch rises a few octaves, “you gonna do it?”
On paper, it sounds like the perfect plan. Seduce Neo without actually seducing him. Break him in the process and find out what he has on me. In reality, it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
“Seems I’ve got no choice. I have to do something.”
Her arms fly around me, wrapping me in one of her tight Riley hugs. “Good. Now go dump Jagger, so you can get him and Crew back.”
The nonchalance in her tone is unsettling, and a bit comical.
“Actually,” I spit out, pulling back and looking at her as the wheels turn in my head. “What if I don’t have to break up with Jagger. What if I tell him the whole truth?”
“And risk Neo finding out. Not worth it. Remember, this open wound is just temporary. It will heal.”
God, I hope she’s right. Her words alleviate some of the sadness inside me, but it’s also a reminder that this is only the beginning. I’m not sure what I’ll do about Crew, but I hope someday we find our way back to one another with Maddie’s approval. If not, I can only hope they make each other as happy as we were.
* * *
“Can we talk?”I ask Jagger, poking my head through his open door.
He closes the textbook on his desk and looks up at me. “Always.” Patting his lap, he calls me over.
Don’t accept, Scar. It’ll only make this harder. “Actually. I prefer to stand.”
His neck cranes, eyes quizzical. “Oh. Is everything okay?”
“No,” I tell him honestly, “everything’s a mess.”
With that, he gets up and crosses the room to where I’m standing beside his bed. Just like with Crew, I can’t look at him. My heart is still in pieces from seeing Crew’s expression when I broke up with him, and now, I have to do it all again.
“I can’t do this anymore,” I spit out, not wanting to think or make excuses or try to soften the blow.
“This nightmare is almost over. Just a few more days and hopefully—”
“No.” I shake my head. “That’s not what I mean. This,” I wave my hands between us, “I can’t do it anymore.”
“You mean us?”
Still unable to look at him, I just stare at his feet. White, warm socks. Probably ankle ones that are digging into his skin. They’ll likely leave an imprint for a couple hours that will go away when he’s sleeping because Jagger hates sleeping with socks on. I know this, because three out of seven nights a week, I sleep with him. He always holds me. All night long. Even when he’s sweating and would probably love his space, he holds me tight because he knows it makes me feel safe. I don’t even mind the sweat because it’s proof of the sacrifices he makes for me. And here I am, not willing to make one for him. I’m breaking his heart to save my own ass.
“Yeah. Us. I already broke up with Crew and now—”
“Broke up with Crew?” He blows out a heavy breath of air. “What are you even talking about, Scar?”
I look up at him. It was an accident, but now that I have, I can’t look away. “I broke up with Crew and now I’m breaking up with you.”
“The fuck you are.” He grabs my hands. Both of them. He massages them with his fingers, his way of saying he’s here and he’s not going anywhere until I’m ok—until we’re okay. “What’s going on with you?”
“Nothing. I’ve just been thinking, and it’s best this way. Better to let you both go now before feelings get too strong—”
“Before feelings get too strong? Are you kidding me right now? I fucking love you. What feeling is stronger than that?”
I didn't expect him to be so angry. Crew was hurt, but he kept calm. Jagger is not holding it together as well.
“Well. I don’t love you.”
