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“Not you or your vagina,” she added. “Besides, if you’re so gung-ho about marrying him, why are you going on that date with the history teacher?”
She knew all about the date because she was the one to fix us up in the first place. She’d been working as a long-term sub teaching physics just down the hall from him since August. He was cute, nice and well… fuckable. Except–
“I didn’t even know Theo moved into town until I was sitting in a paper gown. Also, because I have no clue what I’m doing,” I reminded. “You think a guy like Theo wants a clueless woman in his bed? I need experience. Skills. Talent. Besides Mr. History Guy, I’m going to Las Vegas for that bachelorette party. You remember I told you about it.”
“Right, your friend Alana from college.”
While Bridge went to MIT on a full ride, I went to a state school. I’d had a few small scholarships that cut down the tuition, plus I did work study to cover some more. Even after eating ramen and taking classes over the summer to be done in three years instead of four, I still had student loans. I barely had enough to scrape up money for a ticket to Vegas.
I nodded. “Vegas istheplace to do crazy things. I mean, Lindy and Dex gotmarriedat a drive thru chapel and don’t remember it.”
“There’s a big difference between what they did and you hooking up with a stranger in Sin City.”
“I know, but I want to be prepared. If I’m going to have sex with Mr. History Guy—”
“His name is Tom. You make him sound like he’s seventy and teaches kids cool historical facts on a community TV program.”
I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Tom. If I’m going to do it with him, why can’t I do it with a guy in Vegas?”
She reached out, gave my hand a squeeze. “You can. You’ll have guys in Vegas eating out of your hand.”
“I have other places on my body I’d rather them eating out.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “Well, don’t get arrested, whatever you do.”
I sputtered, which had her looking at me again. “I can’t believe you think I’d get arrested.”
It was her turn to roll her eyes.
“What? I’m not that wild and crazy.” I leaned in. “I’ve been saving it up for Tom, a high school history teacher. How exciting is that?”
She wagged her head from side to side as if considering my words more than required. “You’ve been saving it up for Theo since you first saw his picture. But Tom’s okay. He’s actually pretty hot. Not James brothers hot, but he’ll do.”
That made me frown. “Yeah, a James brother doesn’t even want to see my untalented vagina.”
She pushed her glasses up, then narrowed her eyes. With a swivel in her seat, she called, “Otis!”
I watched as he held his hands up for the pizza dough he tossed in the air, catching it deftly so it wilted down past his wrists, then flung it again. “Yeah?”
“A large with olives and triple cheese.”
“On it,” he called.
A few other tables were occupied, but there was nothing new about the casual environment. Bridget shouting her order was normal.
Bridge looked to me, her eyes large behind her glasses. “You are always so hard on yourself.”
“Me?I’mhard on myself?” I countered.
“We’re talking about you. Guys are not looking for talented vaginas. You’re making them out to be way smarter than they really are.”
“Vaginas?”
“Men.”
Otis brought over plates, silverware, and napkins.
“Otis, you’re a guy,” I said.
