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“I’m twenty-nine years young,” she says with a playful glint in her eyes.
I could get used to staring at that look for years to come. Fuck. I’ve got it bad for this woman. But guilt consumes me when the timeline forms in my head, chipping away at her brightness.
Her smile wanes. “Lix, what’s wrong?”
“Your uncle.” I pull my hand from hers.
She glances at my hand. “What?”
I stand. “He missed your birthday because of me.”
“How could you know that?” She stands, reaching for my arm. “It was fifteen years ago.”
“It’s when I was in the hospital. I remember lying in bed, thinking about how school had just ended for the year. I liked school. It always felt safe.” I shake my head, dismissing my misfortune. I ruined her birthday. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh no.” She grabs my arms. “I always wondered what was so important that he couldn’t make it to my birthday. Now I know.” She palms my cheek. “There isn’t any place I would’ve rather him to have been. I find comfort knowing he was there for you.”
I take a deep breath. “I guess I did too. I was just too young to realize it. I only ran into him a few times, but he left a lasting impression. I always imagined what he was like at home. Did he have a wife? Kids?”
“He was devoted to his job. ”
“And you,” I say the obvious. Reacher must’ve loved his niece. I can understand why.
And my life, my world, took him from her.
“Yeah. I miss him.” She gazes up at me. “But I think he’d approve if he knew the man you are today.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that.” I half laugh. Reacher is probably rolling over in his grave right now. She was like a daughter to him. What right do I have to think I can have someone as precious as Chosen Ashley? She was correct. I signed the warrant for Trace’s death. That is on me. And I shouldn’t want to be the next beast she slays. But, deep inside, I know I will be.
“My uncle saw something in you. Like the man in you who was yet to come. You’re kind, brave, caring, and selfless. You return books to old ladies andgo to AA meetings, even if you think it’s only to right your wrongs.”
“I’m not an alcoholic.” I thrust a hand through my hair. Does she think I have a drinking problem? Like a real one? “Shit just got bad.”
“What do you mean?”
“Ever since my mom went to jail, I’ve felt like I was missing something. Like when you play a word search game and can’t find that last word. You know it’s there, but you search and search and can’t see it. So when I reconnected with my brothers and saw Mom again, I thought the feeling would disappear. It didn’t. That’s when I started hitting the liquor hard. It didn’t help. It only fucked shit up with my mom.”
“You’ve been through a lot in your life—”
“Chosen.” I grab her arms and meet her unwarranted compassionate eyes. “I don’t have a drinking problem. And I’m not in denial. After that shit at the jail, I quit for a month. No problem. I don’t drink liquor anymore. I have a few beers now and then.”
“I know.” She smiles up at me. “I believe you. If we’re going to do this, really do it, then we need to trust each other and let each other in, yeah?”
“Like you let me in last night?” I wrap my arm around her and pull her close.
“Yes.” She laughs, tips up, and kisses me. “Just like that and in other ways.”
Chapter 24
I turn onto Chosen’s street with a police car following me. I’m accustomed to keeping an eye out for them.
Glancing down at the speedometer, I don’t recall if I completely stopped at the last stop sign or slowly rolled through it. We’re all guilty of it.
Maybe the cop has nothing better to do than give me a ticket. We all got a job to do. I'd rather not be a part of the cops today. I finished at the jobsite early and wanted to see my girl.
It’s a surprise visit.
Or, as Chosen frequently corrects me, my woman. I wonder what she’d say if I called her my lady. She’s all three to me and much more.
