AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“What’s wrong? What happened?” My eyes follow his manic movements. “Lix.” I place my hand on his arm to slow him down. “Everything is going to be alright.”
His darting eyes halt at my hand. “That’s what she said.”
“What, who said?”
Tearing away from my touch, he knives his fingers through his hair again and returns to treading the small kitchen area.
“Lix!” What’s wrong with him? What the hell happened? “Lix! Stop!”
“It was me.” He shakes his head. “Fuck!” He slams his fist on the counter. “It was fucking me.” He rests his palm on the counter, head hanging down like he’s about to throw up again.
I inch toward him. “Lix?”
“That night, I heard them.” He stares down at the counter, wavering. “They were fighting.I was in their room. Had a headache. Mom rubbed my head until I fell asleep. She rubbed my head. Normally, I’m upstairs. I shared a room with Cole. But that time, I heard them, and I got up—” He covers his mouth.
“The recorder. That night. Is that what you’re talking about?”
“I remember everything now.” His hand slides down from his mouth, ignoring my responses. “It’s all coming back.”
“What?”
He stares off. Eyes blank like earlier. “I walked into the living room.” He holds out his hand as if going through the steps of that night all over again. “Dad had Mom by the throat. She was screaming. They didn’t see me. Dad punched her in the face. He fucking hit her in the face. She fell to the ground.” He points at the floor.
I touch his arm, trying to make a connection. His eyes remain fixated on something invisible only he can see, like back at the house.
“I went into my dad’s office and got his gun.”
“What?” My muscles hit freeze-frame. “Gun?” What is he saying? He had a gun the night his father was killed. Lix had the gun.
His eyes snap to mine. “The fucker taught me how to shoot. Took me to an open field, lined up bottles and cans, and showed me how to use it. He didn’t take my brothers. Nope. It was just me, fucking me. When I asked him why I needed to know how to use the gun, you know what he said?”
“No,” I barely whisper the word. His wild eyes meet mine.
“So I could protect my family. Protect Mom. He told me it was my job. Mine! I was fucking seven at the time! Seven! Brett was the oldest, but the fucker chose me. Made it my fucking responsibility.”
I search the lost look on his face. “You all were children.”
“Yeah, until that fucking night.” He takes a deep breath. “Brett and Cole tried to keep the abuse hidden from me. They did their job as older brothers and sheltered me. The headphones they made me wear when I went to sleep, the nighttime adventures hunting for frogs or hanging out in the abandoned shed next door. They were protecting me from what my father was doing to our mom. I saw the bruises, but she always made excuses. I should’ve known! It wasn’t until I saw my father hurt my brothers that I understood what was happening in my home. I knew my father had a mean streak, I saw that shit in his eyes, but I never thought— fuck. I didn’t know.” He throws a hand in the air. “Hell, maybe I fucking did, and I ignored it. Refused to believe it.”
“You were so young.” I grab his hand and hold it tight.
His eyes turn dark, colder than I’ve ever seen them. “I stood in the living room, saw what he was doing to my mom, and it all became crystal clear. It’s like I grew up at that moment. The lie I was living, thinking my family was normal.”
“Lix.” I run my hand up his arm.
“That’s when I lifted the gun and aimed it at him. I called out to him. He turned to me. I told him to let Mom go.” Lix’s eyes rise to mine. “And you know what he said?”
I press my lips together, wary of speaking, shaking my head and holding back my tears.
“He asked me what I was going to do about it like that fuck-face!”
“Who? The guy at the house tonight?”
“Yeah. When he said it, it all came back.”
“What happened the night your father was shot? Is that what came back to you?”
“I stood shaking all over. He released Mom’s throat, and she fell to the floor. He was standing in front of the sofa. He looked at me, and I don’t know. I recalled what he said about protecting my family. Mom. It was as if by teaching me how to use his gun, he was preparing me for that very moment. Like he wanted me to shoot him, put him out of his misery. I remember thinking I was done with my brothers protecting me, and I was done with my father hurting Mom. So I put the fucker out of his misery. I pulled the trigger.”
