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Colin reached up to adjust his glasses, a habitual gesture Evan had always found adorably sexy. “Breaking news, porn isn’t real.”
“You wouldn’t have to use it,” Evan pointed out. “There’s your marketing hook right there.”
Colin just shook his head and headed for the door. “I’m not doing porn, Ev.”
Evan rose and tucked his phone in his back pocket. “Okay. How do you feel about home movies for private use?” he asked and followed a laughing Colin down the hall.
He’d just caught up at the front door when the phone in his pocket signaled an incoming text. He would’ve ignored it, but the phone Colin had laid on the entry table dinged almost simultaneously, with the delicate chime Evan knew Colin had assigned to Esme. “Group text.”
Colin had already picked his phone up and was frowning at the screen. “She wants to know if we can make it to brunch tomorrow.”
Evan pulled his phone out to read for himself. “At their place. Tuck’s making waffles again. Looks like she’s inviting the whole crew.” He looked up at Colin, saw the frown had deepened. “You don’t want to go.”
Colin shook his head, his gaze still on the phone in his hands. “It’s not that.”
“I can tell her I can’t make it,” Evan offered, though forcing the words out opened a raw wound under his heart. He bore down and ignored it. “You can go by yourself.”
“I don’t want you to do that,” Colin said, and the appalled sincerity in his voice went a long way toward soothing that raw spot. Then he sighed. “I’m being silly, aren’t I?”
Evan shook his head. “Not if you’re not ready. It’s okay if you’re not, Col. I can wait. I will wait,” he amended, willing Colin to hear what he wasn’t saying.
“You shouldn’t have to,” Colin began.
Evan shook his head. “There’s no should. There’s just you and me, and what’s right for us. What works for us. And if you need time—”
“I don’t need time,” Colin protested. “Not for this, for our friends.”
Though the clarification stung, Evan nodded. “Are you worried about what they’ll think about us?”
Colin’s brows drew together. “I don’t give a shit what they think,” he said, and the wound under Evan’s heart healed a little more.
“It’s a big change, though,” Evan pointed out, compelled for reasons he couldn’t quite name to play devil’s advocate. “The dynamic everyone’s familiar with, comfortable with…it’s bound to change.”
“They’ll just have to deal,” Colin said firmly and tapped at his phone screen for a moment. Then he laid it back on the table and reached for his boots.
Evan looked down at his phone when it chimed. Colin had responded to the group text.Evan and I are in. Can we bring anything?
“I want lunch before we go bowling,” Colin said. “I’m starving.”
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Evan tucked his phone away and reached for his boots. “They have food at the bowling alley.”
Colin grimaced. “I don’t know if I want a burger from a bowling alley.”
Knowing Colin’s weakness for bad bar food, Evan just smiled. “They have nachos.”
“Real ones, or fake cheese?”
Boots on, Evan grabbed Colin’s coat and handed it to him. “Fake cheese.”
“I could eat some nachos,” Colin decided and opened the front door. “Do they have buffalo wings?”
They atenachos and buffalo wings and bowled, with Evan winning two out of three games. When they’d had their fill of bar food and bowling, they went back to Colin’s house, intent on sex followed by a well-deserved nap. But when they pulled into the driveway, the neighborhood kids were in the midst of another epic snowball fight, and the shouts imploring them to join were impossible to ignore.
When the battle was finally won they staggered inside, once again ravenous. They ordered dinner in, settling after a brief debate on Italian, and shared a Caesar salad and eggplant parmesan. They polished off the rest of Claire’s lemon tart for dessert and watched a West Coast basketball game. When the Pistons had finally fallen to the Lakers by a pair in overtime, they tumbled into bed.
Evan lay next to Colin in the dark, listening to the slow, even rhythm of his breathing, and stared at the ceiling. It had been a good day, easy and comfortable, but there was no denying that Colin’s hesitation to be open about their relationship had hurt his feelings.
He knew, intellectually, that it was perfectly reasonable that the changes in their dynamic would give Colin pause. He was private, even a little shy, and his anxiety made change difficult for him. But his heart ached every time Colin hesitated to take his hand, or glanced around to see who might be watching before leaning in for a kiss.
