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If I had given him forever.
“Jake?” I called into the darkness. “Jake, are you there?” He doesn’t answer, but I can hear footsteps sounding in the hall.
After a few moments, there he is. And as he stands there in the doorway, I have a feeling that everything is going to change. “Hey, Lilly-girl. How’s your head feel?” His voice is pitched low, and I can tell that he’s concerned about me.
“It hurts. Do you have any ibuprofen? And maybe some water.”
“You’re taking your pain medication. No more of this only taking ibuprofen bullshit.” He isn’t whispering anymore. “Maya told me what you’re up to when she dropped off your stuff. You’re taking the pills that the doc prescribed, or I’m dragging you back there for them to give you an IV and that’s the end of it.” He’s firm with me, leaving no room for argument, and I find that I don’t want to. I’m tired of pretending that I’m not in any pain.
“Fine. Give me the stupid pills. But you’re not allowed to record anything I say. They make me loopy. And I’m hungry. And Ihaveto take them with food.”
“I already ordered pizza. Is pepperoni and pineapple still your favorite?”
“Yeah, it is.”
Jake moves into the room and hands me the pills that he has obviously carried with him, along with a bottle of water that he opens before handing to me.
“Good,” he says while he watches me take the medication. When I’m finished, I hand him back the water bottle and he sets it on the nightstand next to the bed for me.
The next thing I know he’s lifting me into his arms.
“Hey, no. Put me down. Stop, Jake. My head hurts. Please.” He ignores me completely.
He carries me through the house and into the living room, where he has already set up pillows and blankets on the couch along with a pizza box that’s sitting on the coffee table, wafting the fragrant aroma of deliciousness into the air.
I stare at him, unable to comprehend what is going on.
“I know you like to nest when you don’t feel good. And I want you to be comfortable. So we’re going to watch whatever you want, and you’re going to eat, then get some rest. I’m off for the next few days, and you’re staying here. Someone needs to watch you, and I’d prefer it if that someone was me.” Again, he doesn’t leave any room for an argument, but I’m not going to be bowled over so easily.
“Look. I’ll be fine, if you just take me home.” I don’t want to cause problems. “I know your paramedic girlfriend wouldn’t like me being here.”
Before I can say anything else he’s kneeling down in front of my face, and I fall into those eyes. The same eyes that have captivated me since I was a child.
“Look. You’re hurt. I get it. You could have died, but I’m not letting you go. YourfriendRay can cool his jets. It’s me. I’ll take care of you like I always have. Like I always will. And I don’t have a girlfriend, I haven’t since the night you rolled into town and drove away when I was going to give you a ticket. So you’re stuck with me.”
My heart rate speeds up a little with him dropping the fact that he doesn’t have a girlfriend. What does that mean? I heard him talking to her on the phone and had heard the woman call him ‘doll’ at the ambulance after I got beat with the bat. I hope that they didn’t break up because of me.
“But Ray said that he was coming o-over after sh-shift,” I stutter around the words, unwilling to let the issue go.
“And I told you, you’re staying here. We can talk about this after you eat and get some more rest. Please, Margot. Just do this for me?”
He looks into my eyes, and I think for a moment he’s going to kiss me. There’s heat in his expression that I haven’t seen in anyone’s eyes since I left him. I lick my lips and glance down, but when I look back up, the look is gone. Maybe I hallucinated it because of my injury or the painkillers.
Yeah, that has to be it.
I settle into the nest that he created for me. I don’t want to think about anything except rest. I reach for a piece of pizza. The box is out of my reach, but Jake is there, handing me a slice. He sits himself right next to me on the couch and offers me a plate to put it on. While I’m eating, he pulls my feet into his lap and starts to rub them the way that he knows I like.
“Yum,” I say around a bite of the pizza.
I look around the living room that hasn’t changed much in the time I’ve been gone. The walls are still a conservative tan, and the wood stove still sits in one corner of the room. The couch is the same chocolate suede, and I feel like I’m sinking into it, just the way I like. He got a new flat screen, and the gaming systems are new. The same pictures he’s always had are still on the walls. It’s like watching an instant replay of my life.
There are pictures of Jake holding me on his shoulders when I couldn’t see at a parade. Every memory from my younger years is hanging on the walls, and I feel a lump form in my throat. There is even one from my senior prom. He’s added more, too. Photos from our lives through the years. The only one that I hung was one taken during my senior year. But they make me smile, and I wonder why he’d hung them all.
“You haven’t changed much, have you?” I ask him around bites of my pizza.
“No. I didn’t need to. I changed what needed to be changed, but I like the way things are. Everything here means something to me.” His words are charged with emotion, and I feel his grip tighten slightly before he releases it.
“Why, Jake? Why not change anything?” I think I know the answer, but I want to hear him say it. It’s important for him to say the words.
