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“Lilly?” His voice was strained.
“Yeah?”
“I love you.” With that he was moving inside of me, slowly pulling out until just the head of his cock remained inside me, then pushing himself back to the hilt.
He picked up speed with every pass, and I felt my body tense again, but this time from pleasure. Jake grasped both of my hands in one of his and lifted them above my head, holding me in place. With my legs still wrapped around his waist, we were anchored to each other. With his free hand, he grabbed my side and pulled me toward his body while he thrust inside of me.
“Yes,” I whispered, “I need more, please, Jake. More.”
“Fuck. Yeah, just like that. Fuck. I’m not going to last long.” He let go of my hands and found my clit again, pinching me slightly as he continued to fuck me. “I want you to come. Do it now.”
My body exploded at his command, pleasure moving through every nerve of my body. As I floated on ecstasy back to reality, I felt his body stiffen as he released himself into my waiting warmth.
Pulling out of me, he lowered his mouth to my forehead and kissed me gently. Without saying a word, he turned to his side and pulled me into his arms. Neither of us worried about cleaning up, and I felt myself slipping into a sated sleep.
My last conscious thought before fading away was that I hadn’t told Jake that I loved him after he said it.
14
MARGOT
“I thinkit will be good for you,” Logan says. “I really think you should just get out there. Get back on the horse, sort of.” I watch as Logan stands in the door to dispatch and tries to convince my friend to give him another chance—without any luck.
“I’m not going to go out with you. You had your chance when we were kids. You messed that up. Not my fault. It left a bad taste in my mouth, literally.” Poppy is good at putting people in their place, but I know that it’s mostly a cover.
Poppy believes in happily ever after more than anyone else that I know. Although she refuses to give someone a second chance once they burn her. It isn’t that Logan is a bad guy. He just made the mistake of cheating on her when they were still young enough not to know that their actions had real consequences.
“I see all your monsters, Poppy. I’ll be here for you when you need someone to chase them away.” With that he turns around and walks away, leaving Poppy with a strange look on her face.
“What the hell did that mean?” I ask her. Poppy looks away, her face turning red for probably the first time in all the years that I have known her.
“I’m curious about that too,” Brandi pipes up from the other side of the room where she sits behind her own bank of computers.
“Nothing,” Poppy mutters. “He just thinks he’s brave enough to chip away at all the broken promises he left me with.” She doesn’t say anything else on the matter, but I know that there has to be more to it than that.
Instead of saying anything further on the matter, I remember why I had come to dispatch in the first place.
“Hey, do you think you can get me a copy of the policies for the school on what to do in case of a fire? I know the school has evacuation rules and that they practice fire drills regularly, but I’m working on it, and I want to see if there’s anything that might need to be updated in the county policy. I can’t find our copies anywhere.” With the recent arsons, I want to make sure that I’m doing something to teach fire preparedness to the most susceptible—children and the elderly.
“Yeah, I’ll make a copy of our file and bring it over to you as soon as it’s ready.” Brandi pushes herself up out of her chair and goes to work trying to find the outdated policy in the filing cabinet located along the back wall of the dispatch room.
I leave and almost run into Jake in the hallway. “Oh, I’m sorry.” I turn to walk around him, but he reaches out and grabs my arm.
“Hey, are you okay?” His voice, filled with concern, makes me want something that I’m not sure I should want.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little exhausted. I’m trying to overhaul all our fire policies in case there are any more arsons. I want to make sure that the schools, hospitals, and nursing homes are up to date on their fire policies. It’s just hard work.”
“Well, that’s why you have the job and not someone else.” He winks and then walks around me, heading to the patrol room.
I fight the urge to go after him, not knowing what I would say. I need to find the strength to tell him what I want. Hell, I may not even know what I want for myself, let alone what I can offer another person.
Counseling helped me cope with the fact that I lost my baby without even knowing if I wanted it. Still, I never faced the loss of my best friend. The man I always thought was my soul mate, the man I walked away from. So instead of going after him now and starting something that I have no way of knowing how to handle, I let him go.
* * *
Jake
I know what I want, and even though she is avoiding it, I can see that Margot knows it too. I smile as I go back to work, knowing that the game we’re playing will come to an end soon. I miss having my Lilly-girl in my arms at night. It has been too long and everyone else feels like a pale comparison next to her.
