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I scroll through my Facebook to kill some time, and before I know it, she is walking into the room.
Her hair’s damp, pulled up in a bun on top of her head, and she is wearing a hoodie with a pair of yoga pants. In her hand is a duffel bag that looks stuffed full.
“Would you mind following me to Maya’s house so I can drop this off? I don’t want to stay alone while this is going on.” She doesn’t look me in the eye, and I know that I’m missing something.
“What’s wrong?” Getting up off the couch, I move so that I’m standing directly in front of her. I hold her chin lightly between my thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at me.
“I’m scared.” The fear is plain in her eyes, and I don’t know how to take it away.
“Me too,” I say. “Let’s be scared together. You can stay at my place. You know I have the extra room.”
“Okay.” She doesn’t argue, and I want to pull her into my arms, but I don’t. It isn’t the right time or place.
Instead, I grab her duffel bag and lead her out of the house, locking the door behind us. She follows me in her vehicle to my house, and I get her settled in the guest bedroom even though I would rather have her in my room.
After I take a quick shower and change into a department shirt and a pair of jeans, we leave for the hospital together in my truck. When we make it to the waiting room, I’m not surprised to see that most of the members of the department are already there. Some are in plain clothes, and others are in their uniforms.
“No update?” I ask Brian as we sit down next to him and Maya.
“They came out about a half hour ago and said that he was still being worked on.” Before he can say anything else, the door opens and a doctor comes into the lobby.
“Ma’am.” He approaches Nikki, his expression grim.
“No,” she says and sinks to her knees. “No. Don’t say it.”
“I’m very sorry, Mrs. Dixon. As you know, your husband suffered a gunshot wound to his upper chest. During the operation, his heart stopped multiple times. We were unable to revive him.” When Nikki doesn’t look up or acknowledge him at all, the doctor leaves the room.
I push my way through the crowd gathered around Nikki and pull her up into my arms.
“Nikki. It’s Jake. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” I hold her in my arms while she cries, and when she starts to hyperventilate, I force her to look at me and coach her through it until her breathing returns to normal. I hold her like that, in a room full of deputies and firefighters, until her mom gets there and takes her home.
It isn’t until almost dawn that I finally take Margot back to my house. Once we’re inside, I don’t want to let her walk away, not without telling her everything.
“Lilly-girl.” I watch her turn around and lean against the wall outside the guest room.
“Yeah, Jake.” She sounds tired, and undoubtedly she is.
“I need you. I know that you’ve changed. So have I. I’m okay with this whole getting to know each other again thing. Because I know where it’s going to lead. You’ve always had my heart. My soul. Every part of me belongs to you. Ever since you were a bedraggled mess and running away from me in the woods. Today, it could have been me. And I wouldn’t want to go without you knowing that this, between us, is real. It always has been. No matter how much we change, you’ll always be mine and I’ll always be yours.”
“Jake.” She looks up at me, and I’m afraid to hear what she says next, but I know that I have to.
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and take me to bed.”
So I do.
I know we aren’t ready for sex. Not after what happened today.
There’s plenty of time for that later. For now, just having her in my arms will be enough.
I lead her to my room, where we both strip down for bed. I toss her the shirt that I was wearing, and she slips it on before taking off her bra and pulling the straps through the arm holes of the shirt without removing it. I grab a pair of sweats from my drawer and put them on, knowing that I can’t sleep in the nude with her, not yet.
Once we are settled in bed, I shut off the lights and pull her into my arms. She still fits, even after the time we’ve spend apart.
“Jake.”
“Yeah, Lilly-girl?”
