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Without another thought, I slip on my professional demeanor, the one I wear at work when I’m dealing with men who act like children, and go in search of Travis.
He isn’t hard to find. Tall, buff gods with the temperament of a crotchety Chihuahua aren’t difficult to pick out in a crowd.
His blond head is bent low as he stands with a pretty cop who smiles up at him as though he’s made up of sunshine and warm sand. He probably is—to everyone else. I swallow down the bitterness in my mouth and ignore the sharp twinge in my chest as he sees me and returns to the police officer as if I don’t exist, until finally he squeezes the woman’s arm lightly and crosses to me.
“What’s the report?”
He’s smooth and cool and distant with that same undercurrent of distaste that cuts into me.
My eyes burn but I square my shoulders and go over everything I’ve learned, trying for the same smooth coolness as Travis.
“What I thought,” he says. “I’m gonna be busy helping the fire department clear the roads, so I need you to head over to the school with the rest of the dispatchers and set up a temporary shelter for those who have nowhere else to go.” His gaze slides over me and I barely withhold a shiver. “That all?”
I suck in a breath and step back. “No. Yes. I mean, that’s all. Just… be safe out there tonight. That’s it.”
He’s already half-turned away from me, like he can’t wait to be rid of me. And he probably can’t. Travis no doubt has a million things to coordinate and important people to talk to and… Oh, shit, I have to ask.
“Do you know when they’re going to open up the island for traffic?”
He stops and slowly faces me again with a shrug. “Sheriff says it’s probably not going to be until morning at the earliest.”
“Oh. Okay.” I swallow hard. I can do this. It’s fine. There are others in actual emergency situations from this storm, unlike me. So what if I can’t get home? It’s just a night.
No different to countless others I’d spent as a child, before my grandparents tracked me down and by then I’d been a teen, and—
It’s just a night in the school gym. That’s all. Not a night on the streets.
Without another word, I walk away, knowing he’s already forgotten me. And I throw myself into my work.
As the other dispatchers and I make our way to the school, the rain drives into me, the wind pushing me. By the time I reach the gym, I remove my soaked hoodie and help set up tables, bottles of water, and everything the county’s Emergency Management Agency has stocked for the people who will need shelter.
I make a mental note to tell Margot, the EMA director for the county, that she’s a badass.
Most residents are used to Maine’s storms and can shelter in place at home. But there are tourists and out-of-towners trapped by the storm who need shelter for the night. It’s a solid few hours before I can catch my breath, and when I do, and those who aren’t working leave, I mill about, having nothing to do.
I sigh softly and settle on a bench away from others as I pull my phone from my pocket.
Who do I have to call? No one’s looking for me or worried about me. Worse, my phone sits silent in my hand, not a single missed call or text. And I can’t stop it as my thoughts drift back to Travis.
He dismissed me like I was nothing, and as much as I hate to admit it, that hurt. It’s stupid, but IwantTravis to like me. Weworktogether, so liking your colleagues makes things easier, better, even if it’s only on the surface. But he can’t even be nice when we’re stuck in a shitty situation.
I didn’t even do anything wrong.
The day we met, he didn’t even look at me. He just walked away as soon as my friend and ex-roommate, Maya, and I met up with him and Brian, another deputy, at the sheriff’s barbeque, and things had gone downhill after that.
When I started working for the county sheriff’s department in dispatch, Travis made it his personal mission to make sure I was miserable every day he was there by ignoring me, being dismissive, and plain old walking away when I started talking.
Jesus, he wouldn’t even answer me on the radio until his supervisor stepped in and told him that he had to pull his head out of his ass or get suspended. Life in the last year was already complicated as it was, and his actions only made it harder.
After Maya went through hell and almost died, I was the one to clean up the blood. Literally. I replaced the bed, scrubbed the carpets, and even painted the walls three times to make sure everything was taken care of. But there was nothing we could do to erase the memory of everything that happened. It lived and breathed under the paint and new bed.
I closed the door to the room after Maya moved out and never opened it again.
I should move, but the house is the only thing I was left with after my grandparents died. They meant so much to me in such a short space of time. So I keep the house. I keep the only home I’ve ever known.
Even with everything that happened within those walls.
And Maya… I wasn’t there when Maya was hurt, and I could have saved my friend the terror and pain if I’d been home. Of course no one can ever know that. It’s my secret, my burden to carry. But it keeps me up at night, gives me nightmares.
