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20
TRAVIS
My knees areweak and practically shaking as I follow her into the exam room. It should be a joyous occasion, and it is, just not the joyous occasion I pictured.
The image in my head’s been one of bright futures and solidified love, of us holding hands and kissing and knowing this moment is what really seals the deal.
Instead, it’s two people lost in what to do and how and I can’t fight the fact she’s right in what she said. It hurts like a bitch, but she’s right. We need time. Only there’s a baby on the way. It’s tying us together and it’s the second best moment in my life. But it’s not the together I want.
I blew my brother off to be here.
Of course I did.
Our issues can wait.
And the talk with Jessica?
She’s started texting because I haven’t set up a meeting with her since Brandi called and asked me here.
I know what this means, what it took for Brandi to do that. And I’m determined not to fuck anything up.
Which is why I agreed with her wanting space instead of what I planned to do.
I could have begged, promised, pronounced love and honor and my heart on a plate.
Hell, at this point, I’d cut the useless organ out of my chest and hand it to her if she asked.
But I did none of that.
I can’t pressure her. I won’t.
No matter how much I want to.
Brandi sits next to me in the doctor’s office as the woman goes over the need for rest, less stress, and vitamins and that’s about when I lose the last thread of patience I have. It’s a whole list of things that sound more complicated than nuclear fusion. And I know absolutely nothing on both subjects.
My heart’s racing against my chest, and I can feel the sweat on my forehead.
How am I supposed to be there for her and give her space at the same time when she has a list a mile long of things she needs to do.
“It’s okay,” Brandi whispers, her hand fluttering to mine a moment, the touch a sweet sear I’ve missed. “We’re going to figure it out.”
The doctor’s smile doesn’t slip, but there’s something there, I know it. Something she’s not saying as she watches the interaction between us. “All new parents feel the pressure of everything and Brandi’s just coming out of her first trimester. We’re going to set up an ultrasound and do a regular test.”
“I’m just…” Heat burns a path up my neck. “Nervous.”
“And that’s normal.” The doctor’s phone beeps and she glances at it, then places both hands on her desk. “We’re going to do the normal checks and let you know the baby’s sex. That is, if you haven’t suddenly changed your mind and want it to be a mystery?”
Brandi shakes her head, blond hair shifting and shimmering in the office light as she does so. “No, I want to know.”
That’s when she turns to me. I expect her to stutter, pull back on her words, be that meeker version of herself that she isn’t and ask me, check in.
She doesn’t, and I fall in love with her all over again.
“If you don’t, now’s the time to leave, Travis.”
I almost kiss her. I don’t know why. It’s part push, and many men might take it as Brandi closing them out, of her stepping back. Not me. Yes, there’s tension to her words, but she’s more than that. Her strength and snark, it’s the thing that drew me to her, even as I ran from how she looked, what she represented to me then.
The inner core of strength, that thing which told me she might be vulnerable, quiet, but she’d fight someone to the death if she needed to.
