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She opens the curtains, and daylight streams into the room. I shield my eyes against the light.
"We need to let some fresh air in." She lifts one of the windows, and fresh clean air flows into the room. "How much take out have you had?"
I lean against the headboard. "You know pineapple pizza and breadsticks are my comfort food," I answer sadly.
She gathers the pizza boxes and stacks them. "You are going to get in the shower and get dressed. While you're doing that, I will start a load of laundry and clean up this mess."
My eyes cloud with tears. "You don't have to do that."
"I know." She walks over to me. "I want to." She pulls me to my feet. The dirty sheets fall to the floor. "I know you're hurting, but you can get through this. You just need to stay positive. You're strong, and you've been through worse.”
I think about the months after my mother's death and my pain.
"You're right," I say and go to the bathroom, "I can get through it."
Shae's words give me hope. Maybe things won't stay this way forever. Either way, I'm determined to make the best of my situation. I take a long hot shower and change into some fresh clothes. When I return to my bedroom, the take-out boxes are gone, there are fresh sheets on my bed, and the dirty clothes are off the floor. The scents of lemon and lilac mingle in the air.
I pull Shae into an embrace. "Thank you."
She hugs me back. "You're worth it."
I smile, grateful that I have her in my life.
"Let's get out of here and get you something that isn't greasy artery-clogging food."
I laugh for the first time in nearly a month. "Okay."
Shae and I walk down the sidewalk. The morning sun is peeking out from behind the tall trees that line the street. A few people are walking their dogs, delivery trucks drive down the road, and the birds sing. I take a deep breath of the sweet spring air and close my eyes, taking in the peace of this old neighbourhood.
The street is lined with old brick buildings illuminated in the soft morning light. It's such a peaceful scene that it almost makes me forget all the pain I'm feeling inside. Almost.
Shae links her arm through mine and gives me a reassuring smile before approaching a local cafe called Eagle Mountain.
I say in a low voice, "Ivan was my first, and it was beyond amazing." I press my hand to my chest. "Is that why this hurts so much?"
Shae shakes her head. "My first time was good, but I didn't love the guy. When things ended," she shrugs, "it was just over. No big deal."
I blink at her, unsure of how to respond. "It's different for me."
Shae nods in understanding and squeezes my hand. "That's because you are in love with him. It's always different when you're in love."
My chest tightens. "I want the pain to be gone."
"I've been in love twice. Once with an ex-boyfriend from college, and now with David, who is now my fiancé." We pause the conversation as a group of women walks past us. "The only way to get over heartbreak is time."
I let out a shaky breath. "That's what I was afraid I was going to hear."
Shae gives me a look full of sympathy. "Time will make things easier, I promise."
As we enter the cafe, freshly brewed coffee and baked goods fill my nostrils. The walls are painted in a warm butterscotch hue, and the lighting is dim. The music playing in the background is low and soothing. Around us are wooden tables, with chairs upholstered in deep brown leather. I scan the room and spot a few patrons enjoying their morning coffee or gathering together over board games.
The floorboards creak beneath us as we approach the counter. Shae orders a coffee, and I order a hot tea. We order omelettes and a cinnamon bun to share. For the last week, the taste of coffee has made me sick.
"It does feel nice to be out of my bedroom," I say as we snag a table by the window.
She squeezes my hand. "You need a change of scenery to help get you out of your head."
I nod, grateful for her understanding. "How have things been between you and David?"
