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Hours later,I’d managed to sneak Noah away from the crew to steal some alone time in his room. He hadn’t brought up my promise, or my utter failure to keep it, and I’d managed not to throw up on anything despite the nausea that could be from food poisoning, nerves, or a baby.
Noah stripped his TU shirt off and did a graceful flop back onto the bed, then beckoned me to join him with a wave of his hand. I chewed on my lip, but even secrets and possible babies couldn’t keep me away from him.
As I cuddled next to him, Noah pulled my shirt over my head, but I flattened his hand on my stomach to stop him from unbuttoning my pants. He linked his fingers with mine, content to simply lay with me.
“You okay?”
I winced, drowning in guilt. “I didn’t tell D. I’m sorry.”
Noah sighed. “It’s fine, Chloe. I’m not going to push you when you’re not ready.”
“Iamready, and it’s not fine. Broken promises are not fine. I saw your face when you realized. Not. Fine.”
“I was disappointed, yeah, but only because I missed you. This was the first time you’d come to one of our games to seeme, and I spent the entire time with you on my mind. After it was over, all I wanted to do was kiss you. Instead, I got your brother.” He kissed my temple. “I wantedyou. First. Always.”
“You have me,” I whispered, but I couldn’t convince myself he’d want to keep me in the end.
His brows drew together. “Something else is bothering you.”
I drew in a shaky breath. Yeah. A potential baby. “I don’t want to talk about it yet.”
“Okay, what do you want to talk about?” he asked, stroking my back.
I didn’t have another topic—my mind was helpfully blank—but one gorgeous phoenix wing was spread out under me. “Why did you pick a phoenix?”
Noah let out a single dry laugh. “Because meeting your brother and the others, forming friendships with them, helped me rise from the ashes of my previous life.”
I smiled, amused despite myself. “And now you’re a beautiful flaming bird?”
“The phoenix isn’t me—it’s them. A reminder of the strength we achieve together, on the field and off. It’s protection and encouragement and… brotherhood. Like you said before, they’re my chosen family. Like you.”
“Chosen family,” I murmured, tracing from the tip of the wing around to his back. “They’re behind you, supporting you, but they still guard your heart.”
Noah rolled over, splaying me across his chest. “Like you.”
“Like me,” I agreed softly.
He watched me with quiet amusement, and I lived for the happiness in his eyes. I did that, and I’d never do anything to hurt him. Except I wasn’t telling him the whole truth.
I tilted my head up to meet his gaze, and the emotions inside me ballooned up, pushing against my heart and my head until I thought I would burst. If I was really pregnant, it would change everything.
How was I supposed to protect his heart and help him fly when I was the thing tying him down?
Talk about a major fuck up. My parents were going to freak, D was going to freak, Noahshouldfreak. Wasn’t this exactly what his uncle had warned him about last week? Trapping him in a relationship with a pregnancy, without all the money and fame though.
What if he decided Craig was right? What if he finally had enough and wanted nothing to do with me?
Deep down, I knew Noah would never abandon his child, but I couldn’t stop my mind from conjuring up every horrible what-if that had haunted me since I’d agreed to date him. The phantom pain of losing him sliced through me, but I couldn’t keep this secret from him.
When had he become so important to me?
My heart raced, and I hoped Noah wouldn’t notice. A tiny voice whispered the feelings had always been there, I was just too stubborn to see them. Another asshole voice insisted Noah would be better off without me.
He traced my jaw. “What’s going on in that mind of yours, Trouble?”
“Noah, I have something to tell you.”
