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I stroked her hair away from her wet face. “And that’s not you?”
“That’s not me,” she whispered. “I’m not sure that will ever be me.”
My throat got tight from the similarity to my own experience with Noah, except I’dwantedto date him deep down. Fear had held me back—was still holding me back. The love she described sounded a lot like the flutters in my chest and the heat in my belly, the burgeoning happiness so big I couldn’t contain it in my body. When I was with Noah, the rest of the world disappeared.
With surprisingly little difficulty, the knowledge slid into me. I loved Noah. Every aspect of my life was better with him in it, which made the baby revelation all that much scarier. Like I’d told D, failure didn’t matter when I had nothing to lose. Suddenly, I could lose everything.
A quiet voice in the back of my mind suggested I could also gain everything I ever wanted if I just talked to him. Unfortunately, that voice wasn’t loud enough to drown out the fear completely.
Despite the shitty circumstances, Eva had given me a gift. A valid reason to put off talking to Noah until tomorrow.
I laid my head on her shoulder. “Okay, we’re having a girls’ night. No penises allowed. Only superhero movies and ice cream until we pass out.”
Eva wrapped her arm around me. “Fine, but you have to promise me to talk to Noah in the morning and take a test either way.”
My stomach pinched, but there might have been some excitement mixed in with the nervousness. “Okay. Distraction tonight in the form of Chris Evans’ ass, then real life tomorrow.”
One way or another, things were about to change.
24
Chloe never came back to my apartment. I noticed, but Mac distracted me, bouncing off the walls like a toddler who’d downed several Red Bulls and a bowl of Skittles. A shadow in his eyes made me go along with him, but it wasn’t until Eva texted me that I accepted I wouldn’t see Chloe until morning.
Come get her tomorrow.
No context or explanation, but Eva believed in getting right to the point. She also believed in communication. If Chloe had a problem, Eva wouldn’t let her sit on it, so I gave in to Mac’s insistence we play an epic Madden tournament with D before he had to leave.
Shaw and RJ folded first, heading to their room around midnight, and I left Mac and D battling it out sometime around two. I crawled into bed alone, but despite the real-life football game I’d played earlier and all the shit that went down after, I wasn’t tired. My mind kept returning to the discussion with Chloe her brother had interrupted.
I don’t want to talk about it yet.
Something had spooked her—before D stuck his foot in his mouth. I crossed my arms behind my head and ran through the events of the day. Nothing stood out to me, but it didn’t matter in the end anyway. Whatever had scared her, we’d deal with it together.
I watched the shadows play across my ceiling and waited for the doubts to creep in, but they never came. D knew about us, and I’d burned my bridges with Craig. I needed to decide if I wanted to contact my father, but deep down, I already knew I’d be calling him. There were too many unanswered questions to leave him in my past.
I smiled into the darkness. Chloe would approve. She’d probably be right there holding my hand. I hoped she knew I’d do the same—whatever she needed, I’d support her. Maybe it was time I told her that, along with the fact that I was hopelessly in love with her.
If dating freaked her out, she’d probably try to dump my ass when I started talking about forever. Good thing I wasn’t easy to push away.
Unless Eva got involved, apparently. I rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow. It was going to be a long night without Chloe curled up next to me.
* * *
The next morning,I squatted next to a tangle of female limbs on the sofa. Three pints of melted ice cream sat on the coffee table behind me next to Eva’s open laptop. Chloe slept face down on the couch with one arm hanging off, fingers touching the floor, legs intertwined with Eva’s.
I brushed a loose curl of dark hair away from her face and ran my thumb along her jaw. She nuzzled into my hand, and the lines on her forehead smoothed. My wild girl wasn’t a morning person on the best of days. Didn’t stop me from wanting to wake up next to her for the rest of my life.
She murmured my name, and my heart took off. I’d wait as long as she needed, do whatever it took to convince her we were end game. Chloe was it for me, always had been. From the first time her eyes had locked on mine and she’d grinned like we shared a secret.
I’d thought getting involved would be a mistake because of D and my past. Maybe it would have been, or maybe the mistake was pushing her away for so long.
Just as I was considering letting her sleep, she blinked sleepy green eyes at me and groaned. “So bright.”
I smiled at her. “Morning, Trouble.”
Chloe’s face paled, and her eyes widened. “I have to throw up.”
She shoved at my hand and Eva’s legs, then bolted for her bathroom. Eva grumbled, curling around a couch pillow, and I frowned at the lack of alcohol present for this kind of morning. Chloe had been sick on and off for more than a week, but she’d said it was a food thing.
