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I followed on her heels, grabbing the water bottle from her bedside table and setting it on her bathroom counter. She’d hit her knees on the fuzzy purple rug and draped her upper half over the toilet seat. I squeezed in next to her and laid my hand on the back of her head. Worry snaked through me as her moan echoed off the water.
“Why can’t I just throw up and feel better?”
She wasn’t talking to me, clearly, but nothing about this seemed normal. “Chloe, are you okay?”
Her body relaxed, and she leaned her cheek against her arm on the seat. “Yeah, just my usual morning routine.”
As I crouched next to her in the small bathroom, a niggling thought tried to break through. “The thing you needed to tell me…”
Her gaze shot to mine, full of fear I never wanted to see associated with me.
“Are you pregnant?”
She squeezed her eyes closed for a second, and when she opened them again, they glistened with unshed tears. “Maybe? I don’t know. Yesterday, I realized I’d missed my last period, and I’ve been sick. I know we used condoms, but they’re not one hundred percent effective. I haven’t taken a test.”
I sat back on my heels, but I didn’t take my hand off her head. Fuck. How was this possible? We’d been careful. I frantically searched for alternate explanations, but Chloe knew her body. If she thought she might be pregnant, I believed her. It never crossed my mind the kid wouldn’t be mine.
An influx of considerations crashed through my head one after the other—classes, next football season, doctor appointments, Craig’s reaction, marriage. The weight of another human being sat on my chest and made it impossible to breathe. Chloe looked away, blinking quickly, and everything came sharply into focus. How long had she been worried about this on her own?
Under the shock and anxiety lived a tiny pocket of satisfaction. She wasn’t on her own. A baby had definitely not been in the plans, but I knew absolutely that if I was going to have kids, I wanted them with Chloe. We’d done this together, and I’d do whatever I could to shield her from any negative fallout.
She dry heaved one more time, then wiped her mouth with her wrist. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. I was supposed to leave old me behind and start making better choices with my life. I thought I had, but then I dragged you down with me.”
I gathered her hair and held it away from the edges of the toilet. “There was nothing wrong with old you.”
“Then why did you turn me down the first time?”
I tugged gently on her curls. “Because I wasn’t ready. My feelings for you scared me.Youscared me. I’d spent my life trying my best to fade into the background, and you lived unapologetically at the forefront. I couldn’t look away.”
“Yeah, like a train wreck,” she muttered.
“No, like a beautiful display in a store window that I wanted but couldn’t have. I’d just met D, just realized what it felt like to have people really care about me. I was terrified I’d make a wrong step and ruin everything.”
Her shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. “And then I went ahead and ruined everything for you. I understand if you want out—I have a habit of driving people away—but I’m keeping the baby. If there is one.”
I wound her hair around my fist and pulled until she lifted her face to me. “I’m not going anywhere. Why are you so certain you’re going to drive me away?”
“Because it happened before.” She jerked her head, making me let go. I rolled to my feet, getting out of her way as she stood, then slammed the toilet shut and flushed with more force than necessary.
“I dated the same guy for most of my senior year of high school. For once, he didn’t seem the least interested in D or his influence. Vince and I even applied to all the same colleges. I thought I loved him.”
“What happened?” My voice was calm, but Chloe must have sensed my roiling anger.
She studied me out of the corner of her eye as she yanked open a drawer and pulled out a new toothbrush. “My parents went out of town for a weekend and accidentally took my car keys. I had a brunch date with some friends, so Vince let me borrow his car. I got into an accident. It was my fault. I was messing with the radio and ran a stop sign. The other guy was apparently driving a tank because the collision totaled Vince’s car.”
My jaw ticked as I guessed where this was going. “Were you okay?”
“Yeah, just some bruising from the airbag and the seatbelt. Vince lost it. Claimed he was done with me being selfish and reckless. The last thing he said to me was I wasn’t worth the trouble.”
Even knowing the story didn’t end in Vince’s favor, I wanted to find this asshole and introduce him to my temper. He’d affected Chloe so deeply she’d decided she wasn’t worthy enough to be loved. Fuck that. I’d spend every day proving him wrong until Chloe believed me.
I circled her waist from behind and met her eyes in the mirror. “I love your trouble. I love your sharp tongue and your fierce tenacity. Your unbreakable spirit and soft heart. I love you, and you are everything I ever wanted. With or without a baby.”
Chloe sniffled, and she laid her hands over mine on her stomach. “Did D help you come up with that when he finally accepted things had changed between us?”
“Nothing has changed, Trouble. It’s always been you. I just didn’t have the words until now.”
“So not D then?”
