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Wynonna Macready was my first crush. I was a late bloomer. Many other boys were handing out Valentine’s Day cards and holding hands by fourth grade. Ruin was that kind of self-assured kid. He loved attention and making a splash. I was more hoping to skulk around the edges of every room, praying no one paid attention to me.
Yet, when I finally got old enough to want a girlfriend, I decided Wynonna made sense for me. She had endless wild energy, and I was like a brick wall. I’d protect her while she said and did the things I couldn’t.
Except Ruin acted like I was a loser for even entertaining such romantic thoughts. He flat-out told me to keep my dick to myself around his sister or he’d take the offending appendage.
For years, I figured he would see the error in his ways. Struggling to find the right guy, Wynonna dated one loser after another. Ruin still never backed down. Apparently, I was good enough to be in his club but too big of a loser to date his sister.
No way did I believe Wynonna’s marriage to Ralph would last. He was a dumb redneck, barely scraping by on his construction jobs. How the fuck was he good enough for her?
Ruin wasn’t a fan of Ralph, either. After Wynonna accepted the redneck’s proposal, my president ranted at the Pigsty as the rest of us played his shrink.
“The dumb fuck bought Wynonna a ring that couldn’t have cost more than three hundred dollars. He’s probably completely broke now. What the fuck?” Ruin hollered while raging on the back patio.
I remember how I sat next to Hobo who ate popcorn and enjoyed the show. I admittedly found Ruin’s misery entertaining.Ha, I bet I didn’t look so bad anymore!
A month later, I sat in the church, watching a beaming Wynonna marry that dumb redneck. She was so damn happy. I’d figured she was settling. Already in her thirties, she was the last of her friends to get hitched. Wynonna would have been happy with any hunk of meat by that point.
However, I realized something at the wedding. Though I was still angry at Ruin for ordering me to stay away from his sister, I didn’t love her or feel any jealousy at seeing her with someone else. I wasn’t hoping she’d look at me and ask for help. I was just angry at how Ruin thought I wasn’t good enough.
My ego demanded I prove him wrong. Except Wynonna wasn’t my girl, any more than I’d be the one to make her happy. These days, I see her once a week from afar. She’s usually smiling.
Weeks ago, their son named after his dad turned five. Wynonna held his party at the Pigsty. Goose and Walla Walla dressed as clowns and threw water balloons at each other.
That day, I daydreamed about Irina, who I hadn’t seen since Marky’s death.
When I watched Wynonna with her family, I felt such relief at how I never forced something to happen with her. Over the years, I assumed Ruin stole something from me. Except I never felt for Wynonna what I did almost instantly for Irina.
That’s why I obeyed Ruin when he ordered me to stay away from his sister. I hated how he dismissed me, but losing Wynonna wasn’t a dealbreaker.
If Ruin told me to stay away from Irina, I wouldn’t obey. I’d absolutely push back against him, even if I lost the fight. I’d sneak around, if necessary. Hell, I’d walk away from the club to keep her.
Irina offers me something no one ever has before. I refuse to give her up to please Ruin or anyone else.
I check my phone to see if Irina’s responded. Behind me, Wynonna arrives with her kids. Glancing back, I see the curvy brunette setting down her nearly three-year-old daughter, Esther. The girl and Ralph Junior follow Wynonna to the back doors.
“Eagle, let’s talk.”
I don’t even consider telling Wynonna no. Her nagging powers can only be conquered by jumping on my hog and riding away.
As we stand on the back deck and admire the sunny day, Wynonna undoes the band on her long, wavy hair and shakes it out. Behind us, her kids wander around in that fun, pointless way children do.
“I heard the hottie from the restaurant is probably a keeper.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, see, I’ve got me a girl gang now. I’m thinking about folding your chick into the crew. But I need to meet her for real to make sure she isn’t a dud.”
“Irina doesn’t want to slash anyone’s tires.”
Wynonna snickers. “Does she like manicures or facials? Because that’s mainly what my badass girl gang does with our time together.”
I consider Irina enjoying a day at the spa. She never gets to go out and pamper herself because of Fiona. Except as soon as that name flashes in my head, I imagine Irina feeling guilty over leaving her behind.
“Could you take the Rogers girl?”
“She looked like a grown-ass woman at her asshole brother’s funeral.”
“Yeah, but you saw she was messed up.”
