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So far, she hasn’t pulled her usual switcharoo. I expected her to refuse to go, like with Thanksgiving, only to talk herself into joining me. Instead, she shows no worries over feeling left out.
“Are you sure you don’t want to join me at the salon?” I ask as we sit in the courtyard after breakfast. With the chilly air, Fiona’s so bundled up that I can barely see her face. “You can get your toes painted.”
“No, thank you. Leaving the house would be too dangerous.”
“But you left yesterday. Didn’t you have fun?”
“That was different. I was willing to die to meet Eagle and see your new people. Getting my toes painted isn’t worth the risk.”
While Gatsby investigates the courtyard as if he’s caught a scent, I admit, “I’m not sure I want to go without you.”
“Do you worry they’ll gang up on you?”
Sitting next to her on the bench, I wrap my arms around her shivering body. “Yes.”
“Are you afraid you’ll feel excluded since they’re already friends?”
“Yes.”
“Well, they might. I couldn’t figure them out at the Pigsty. I was only really interested in Eagle. It’s possible those women are rotten.”
“Do you think I should stay home?”
“No, you should definitely go. How else will you know? Besides, I can’t imagine Eagle will be happy if his girlfriend isn’t included with the biker lady stuff.”
The winter chill mixes with my own fears until I’m ready to shut down today’s plans. “I’m not sure I want to have my nails done.”
“I searched pregnancy symptoms, and swollen feet was one of them. You should pamper yourself.”
Grinning at how Fiona wants to take care of me, I admit, “I’m nervous to make a bad impression. I haven’t made any new friends in a long time.”
“Because of me?”
“No, because I don’t trust people. I’m also no good at small talk or whatever it is that makes people likable.”
“You just need practice.”
“I feel like I should tell them I’m sick.”
“No. Be brave,” Fiona says and hugs me. “I can’t be your only friend anymore, Irina.”
“Why?”
“The biker put a baby inside you. I researched children, and they want to do stuff outside the house. Some of those biker wives have kids. If you become friends with them, you could enjoy mommy talk while your kids play.”
Her words make sense, yet I’m still looking for an out. Mostly, I want Fiona to come with me. If she’s at my side, I’ll have an ally in a scary situation. My focus will be on her rather than on if I’m making a bad impression.
“I think I’ll nap while you’re gone,” Fiona says, dragging her left leg after we walk inside. “The cold makes me sleepy.”
I glance at Olive who lingers nearby. Despite now living in the house, she rarely includes herself in our conversations. I sense she’s intimidated by Fiona, who has her father’s ear. I don’t know what Olive thinks might happen, but she always chooses her words carefully around the younger woman.
After tucking Fiona into bed, I force my vacillating butt out the door.
Texting earlier, Wynonna offered to pick me up. Out of habit, I shut down that idea. What if the women gang up on me and I need to flee? Better to bring my own transportation.
The SUV’s GPS leads me onto a highway, toward the Lavender Lady Salon. As usual when I’m off the estate, I admire McMurdo Valley’s natural beauty. Even in late autumn, the landscape is ripe with rugged vibrance.
Eagle has stories about every business, street, and even certain trees. This town is as much part of his family as the Steel Berserkers Motorcycle Club. I can’t imagine him being happy anywhere else. McMurdo Valley is where we’ll raise our family and grow old together.
