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“Well, yeah.”
Leaning forward, I mention, “She was going to marry a weird-looking guy before I saw her at the restaurant. If she’s fourteen, that’s gross.”
Shitty Goatee Mooney Deputy points out, “But her family could sign for it to be legal. They didn’t do that with you.”
Remembering the training I did as a kid for any police interrogations, I lean back and go against my nature by saying too much.
“Now that I’m a married man, we’re talking about having a kid. If it’s a girl, I’d never marry her off when she was a little tiny thing. In my opinion, fourteen is way too young. I’d most definitely want my daughters to finish high school before they settled down with a gross doctor from another town.”
The deputies frown at me before Goatee-Free Mooney Deputy asks, “Are you stoned?”
“No. I’m not drunk, either. I don’t really use any mind-altering substances. It’s just not my way. I like to stay fresh mentally,” I say and tap my head. “I like to work out. I jog. I do that thing that’s like tennis but in a room. I’m all about healthy living.”
Jared chuckles, likely remembering how my aunts would grill me—and my cousins—for these eventual moments. The women took turns playing good cop, bad cop, menstruating cop, “confused about where she is right now” cop, and my favorite, the “I’m having a bad day, so why don’t you just confess already” cop.
“Look, I don’t doubt this Oana woman, girl, whatever is great,” says Goatee-free Mooney Deputy. “But the Trinity Church members aren’t anyone you should engage with unless it’s absolutely necessary.”
“I’m not engaging with them. I married someone who ditched them.”
“I’m just suggesting that maybe you ought to marry someone else. We didn’t find any paperwork saying your marriage was legal. Maybe you can just walk away and find someone without such pesky in-laws.”
Rather than get angry at his suggestion, I pity the fool. He might be wearing a wedding ring, but he clearly hasn’t fallen under anyone’s spell.
“Oana’s my dream girl,” I explain and cross my arms. “That means she’s my one shot at a great love. No one’s going to fill the spot she’d leave behind if I lost her. Oana and I make magic. That’s why her family can get bent.”
“Well, we’ll see just how magical she is when her family convinces her to testify against you.”
“That won’t happen.”
“Do you think you’re the first guy to smooth-talk one of those uppity Trinity women into the sack?” he asks, chuckling along with Shitty Goatee Mooney Deputy. “Every time it happens, the woman’s family swoops in and makes claims. The ‘good girls gone wild’ shit ends immediately, and the woman runs back to her families. The guys are lucky to move on with their lives. One guy had to fight charges for six months before the Trinity dickheads decided he’d learned his lesson.”
“That’s a sad story,” I say, imagining what Edith would say. “I’ve become sad from hearing it. But I won’t cry. I’m too stoic.”
“We’re trying to help you,” Goatee-Free Mooney Deputy grumbles, irritated by my lack of family bonding. “These people are toxic.”
“I get that, but what do you think would happen if one of the Mooney law-and-order types hooked up with a Trinity Church chick? This county has hierarchies. Around here, the Trinity Church is not at the top. The law is above them. So is the club and my family.”
Leaning back in the chair, I sigh. “And you know those Trinity people hassle us already. So, we hassle them right back. If they use the law against us, we could do the same to them. Just like you would do if they messed with one of your brothers in blue, right?”
The deputies nod, knowing they’ve broken plenty of laws to protect their own.
“But even if that wasn’t true. Say I was a peon with no power, I’d still fight for Oana. Because life doesn’t give us many great things. Sure, I’ve gotten lucky with my family and my healthy living habits. But now that I’ve met my dream girl, I’m not letting a herd of sexually repressed losers tell me how to live my life.”
“Amen,” Jared adds.
These deputies get what I’m saying. Not only about loyalty and love. They also understand how the Trinity Church members knows my family is tied with the local law. If they’re pissing in my direction, they’re willing to do the same at the Mooney men.
That’s why the rest of my interrogation is just a bunch of sports and fishing talk.
The local hierarchy is closing ranks to protect their own. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of the Trinity men wasn’t behind bars by sunset, just to remind the church who runs what around here.
