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My body begins to shake as I attempt to remind myself I’m not at the compound. That it's just a closet and no one is coming for me. But all too soon the darkness caves in on me.
My breaths become shorter and panic hits me as I convince myself I’m hearing things. Feet scraping across the floor. Doors creaking open. Voices.
Before I know it, I’m trapped in my past with no way to pull myself out.
“We won’t let you get away with this.”
“You’re just a pathetic little girl.”
“Just a whore for us to use.”
“You’ll never be worth anything in our world.”
“Weak!”
“Soft.”
“Just a child.”
The voices get to be too much and I begin gasping for air as my stomach attempts to heave up last night's dinner. My hands are pressed tightly to my ears, trying with all their might to drown out the voices in my head.
Strong arms wrap around me in the dark. I’m unable to decipher what's real and what isn’t. My body is pulled into the air and my fists fly out, making contact with flesh, inciting an ‘oomph’ as I’m dropped on my ass.
“Fuck!” A familiar voice shouts as lights flicker on around me.
I throw my hand up to shield my eyes from the sudden intrusion.
As they adjust, Damien comes into focus, rubbing his jaw where I just hit him. He tries to reach out a hand to me like he’s concerned.
Well fuck that and fuck him. I slap away his hand as I move to stand up on my own. I take a step back from his close proximity. He let Lev lock me in there. He doesn't get to look at me like he’s suddenly worried. My back hits the wall, sending another bolt of panic through me. I move to shove past him, but he grabs me and spins me in his hold. Damien pushes my face against the wall with one hand while locking my hands behind my back in the other. I push and pull against him, but he has a grip of steel. I can usually maneuver myself out of most holds, but he’s too strong and I was unprepared.
“Need to let out some anger, Little Shadow?” he whispers in my ear, closing me in between him and the wall.
My panic is in full swing. My breathing becomes erratic as I twist and turn harder using all of my strength. The nausea begins to return and tears burn the backs of my eyes. Why did I do this to myself? Why did I choose to come here and put myself under the control of men who have no business owning a woman?
I don’t want to cry in front of them. I never want anyone to see this side of me. The side where I’m not in control at all. The side of me that feels useless and soft, just like I’ve been told so many times. The side of me that’s weak and emotional. The side of me that every man in my life has told me would be my downfall. Damien turns me around with one arm and grabs my wrists in front of me with the other.
I still can’t breathe. Spots begin to form in my vision from the lack of oxygen getting to my brain.
“Evie!” I hear a voice yell at me, but it’s like I’m underwater. Falling deeper and deeper.
How do these guys have a way of trapping me in my nightmares? It’s like they pull me into their darkness no matter how hard I try to fight for the light.
Fingers pinch my chin and force me to look into deep brown eyes. “Look at me, Little Shadow.” The panic is all consuming and I know I need to find an anchor. I finally look at him, letting him center me. “Now take a deep breath,” he tells me, not in a demanding way but with enough force that my lungs inflate without a second thought.
I take a few more deep breaths, keeping my eyes locked on the penetrating gaze that Damien has on me. My vision slowly returns to normal. Not wanting any of the pity I’m sure will come after that, I turn away from him and try to pull my hands free from his grasp again.
He’s unmoving, and I reluctantly give up. I feel defeated, so I put the ball in his court with a sigh. He just stands there, though. Slowly, I allow myself to look back into his eyes. Except instead of the pity or disgust I was expecting, I see a look of understanding. I take a moment to look at him, all of him. He’s wearing a tight black shirt, and the tattoos that cover his arms reach up to and cover his neck. When the light hits him just right though, I notice them. The scars. They aren’t obvious, but as someone who sees them everyday on her own body, I can make out that they’re there.
My fingers twitch with the urge to run my hands over them to feel if they’re raised like mine. When I look back into his eyes this time, I don’t know how I missed it. He knows. He knows the pain and struggle that would have broken most kids our age.
“I saw you,” he says, and I’m instantly back on guard, spine straightening. “I watched you last night before you knew I was there. Why are you hiding what you’re capable of?”
Well, fuck, so much for keeping them guessing.
“I don’t hand out secrets for free, Sunshine,” I tell him.
He laughs. “Sunshine? That’s a new one.”
