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Because not only was Sariel in Hell—suffering, cut off from me—none of what I’d thought we were doing together was real. None of the conversations or the fun or the bonding we’d been doing was real.
It was like I’d had a long dream and was suddenly waking up to find the life I’d been living was a lie.
“All I did was play a part. You’re supposed to be hissoulmate.” The word has a bitter twinge to it. “How could you have let this drag on for so long if you’re soin syncandin love?”
His mockery didn’t miss the mark.
Agony hit me square in the chest.
I did this. I’d played into this charade for this long, choosing to ignore the signs that something was off just because he’d seemed happy.
I should have known. I should have known when he’d hugged Auren, or when he hadn’t fretted about Michaelson, or when Neo had tried to warn me.
I should havelistened.
I finally landed another blow, surprised when he flew backward.
There was screaming—people shouting—behind me somewhere, yet I couldn’t control the anger spilling out of me.
I couldn’t stop going after him even if I wanted to—I wasn’t in control of my bodyat all. It threw swing after swing on autopilot before Barimuz managed to escape me again, which was when I screamed in frustration.
“When? When did you replace him?” I demanded, and the Archdemon shrugged. “Was it—was it when you took us there the first time?”
The thought was dizzying. I immediately tried to deny it to myself. I could feel myself swaying on my feet, and Barimuz laughed.
“No.” A small mercy. “You’d all been drinking, so it was easy to catch him unaware and pull him to Hell. Lucifer had me replace him the same night.”
When Sariel had realized the life Auren had led, then.
Everything felt too raw.
I bent at the waist with a keening sound of pain.
My mate.My heart.
That’d been the last time he was with us, and it hadn’t been a good moment together. There wasn’t even anything positive for him to hold onto while he was stuck down there.
“Aria!”
Marilyn.
That voice was Marilyn.
I tried to focus on what she was saying, but it was all nonsense to me, just white noise that was barely recognizable through the thousands of sensations pulsing through me.
The burning didn’t stop. My body felt so much heavier than it had before, but none of it slowed me.
“He got to watch, you know,” Barimuz taunted, his grin salacious. “Lucifer locked him in that cell and plastered you on every wall for him to see.”
No. No, no, no.
I straightened, hands forming fists at my side, my claws slicing into my palms.
It was one thing to monumentally fuck up like this and another for Sariel to haveseenit. He’d seen me fawn and fall for this—thischarade.
What did he think of me now? Did he hate me? Would he even want me anymore
I hadn’t done anything more than cuddling and kissing with the Archdemon—who I had thought washim—so he surely wouldn’t hold it against me, right?
