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She uncrosses her arms. “It would’ve been our first and last date. I despise hockey.” She raises her thumb.
“And hockey players.” Her index finger goes up.
“And the way they smell.
“And the way they spit everywhere with no fucking consideration for other people who might be walking on the mats.
“And how they think they’re God’s gift to women.
“And how much time the season schedule takes up.
“And how much time I had to spend in a stinky ice arena as a kid.
“And how my dad didn’t have time to come to any of my activities because of hockey.
“And how hockey was always the priority in our house.
“And most of all, I hated how much my dad loved his team more than me, and still does.” Tears fill her eyes as she stands there with all her fingers raised. Gripping her arms, I pull her to my chest, enfolding her in my embrace. A sob slips from her lips, and it feels like a knife has sliced my heart. At a loss for what to say, I rub my palms in calming circles on her back. After hearing everything she said, I realize how upset she is with me has a lot to do with her relationship with her father.
Raising her tear-stained face from my chest, she avoids looking in my direction, as if she’s embarrassed. I’m not going to let her shut down now.
“I hope I didn’t dirty your shirt,” she says.
“I don’t care about my shirt. I care about you.” Cupping her cheeks in my palms, I force her to meet my eyes. I swipe the tears from under her bottom lashes with my thumbs. “Evie, I can’t change what I’ve already done wrong, but I can promise you, I’ll never keep anything from you again.”
She nods, but she doesn’t seem convinced.
“I mean it. You have my word.” My hands press on her cheeks for emphasis. “If you could see inside my heart, you’d realize how much space you’ve already claimed. Then you’d never doubt my feelings for you.”
CHAPTER17
EVIE
Jesus,his dark eyes have never seemed so earnest. I want to explain that I don’t want to doubt his feelings. This insecurity I’m experiencing isn’t enjoyable but it’s par for the course when it comes to anything to do with hockey. I have enough self-awareness to know I’m holding Darius responsible for things that were brought about by my dad’s behavior. I know that’s not fair to Darius, but I’m scared to risk my heart. I always lose to hockey.
“We should get back to the party,” I say.
A muscle in his cheek tenses. “Not until we settle things between us.”
“Darius, I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, but the fact of the matter is, you did.”
His dark brows pinch together as his brow furrows. “Should I be hurt that you didn’t tell me who your father is? Being the coach of the Coyotes is a big fucking deal.” This is the first time I’ve ever heard anger in his voice.
“It’s not the same thing at all,” I fire back.
“I’m not saying it is, but you’re not perfect either. The difference is, I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and you’re not willing to do the same for me. Maybe you’re the one who’s feelings need to be in question.”
“I haven’t given you any reason to doubt my feelings,” I defend.
“Really? Are you sure about that? I haven’t heard you telling me where I stand with you. Why do I have to be the one who’s open about their feelings? Shouldn’t it be a two-way street?”
“Sure, throw my insecurities in my face. You’ve known from day one how I am.”
“Yeah, I just assumed at some point you’d be more comfortable showing me how you feel about me.”
I poke him in his chest. “I can’t help that you can’t tell I’m crazy about you.”
He catches hold of my hand and wraps his other arm around my waist, trapping me in his embrace. “It’s nice to hear the words too.”
