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“Iwas—Iam,”Andisaid quickly. “Ican’t pass them on to anybody, but the spoors will live in my system for the rest of my life.WhichmeansI’llhave to deal with theireffectsfor the rest of my life.”
Cadeshook his head.
“Andwhat are their effects?”
“Theymake you…uh,extremely aroused.”Andicould feel herself blushing again. “AndIknow that’s no excuse for whatIdid—for the wayI, uh, used you when you were aManimaland couldn’t really think because you’d lost the use of your higher mind, but—“
Cadeput up a hand to stop her.
“Let’sput a stop to this right now—this idea that you took advantage of me or used me.Becauseyou fuckingdidn’t—Imean, you weren’t inviting me to do anything thatIdidn’t already want to do, even beforeIgot turned into a, uh, ‘Manimal.’”
“What?”Andilooked up at him, startled. “Whatare you saying?”
“I’msayingIfucking wanted you too—from the momentIfirst saw you!”Cadeexclaimed. “Whenyou tripped coming intoCommanderSylvan’soffice andIcaught you.Ithink it was what you humans call ‘love at first sight,’” he said earnestly. “Orat least,lustat first sight.ButwhenIgot to know you,Iliked you more and more.Idon’t know exactly when it turned to love, but itdid,Andrea.”
Andi’sheart was pounding.Washe actually saying helovedher?Thathe returned her feelings?
“Thenwhy didn’t you eversayanything?” she demanded. “Imean, other than saying my eyes were pretty without my glasses?”
“Ifuckingcouldn’t.”Cadeshook his head andAndithought he looked sad. “I’maHybrid—do you know what that means?”
“Yes, of course,”Andisaid impatiently. “Itmeans you’re halfBloodKindredand halfBeastKindred.”
“Yes, but italsomeansIcan’tBonda female to me,”Cadeexplained. “Iknew there was no point starting anything with you, becauseI’dnever be able toBondyou to me.”
“Really?”Andifelt like her heart was sinking down to her toes. “So…you only want me if you canBondme to you?”
“Hellno, sweetheart!Iwant you any wayIcan get you,”Cadeexclaimed, surprising her. “ButIfeel likeIalready took more thanIshould—more than you were willing to give.WhenI…”Hecleared his throat and shook his head. “WhenIwoke inside you and saw the fear in your eyes…you can’t tell methatwas consensual.”
“Okay, thatwaspretty rough,”Andiadmitted. “Butit was only because theChiefPeaceKeeperhad locked you away from me and let you goPrimal.Youhadn’t had any of my honey or mySweetDropsin a day and a night and it made you a little crazy—I’mjust thankful you didn’t kill me, the wayGoodieBo-long’sManimalskilled her,” she added with a shiver.
Atroubled look crossedCade’sface.
“Iremember feeling fuckingenraged.Wantingto kill or breed or both.”
“Iknow—Icould see it in your eyes,”Andiadmitted. “Ididn’t know what to do at first, but then a voice told me to submit to you—to offer you my throat.”
“Wait—you heard a voice telling you what to do?”Cadelooked surprised.
“Yes.”Andinodded. “AndIheard it in the cell where they had me locked up too.It—she—comforted me and told me everything would be all right.Iknow that sounds crazy.MaybeIwas hallucinating—”
“No, you weren’t,”Cadeinterrupted excitedly. “Youmust have heard theGoddess—she was talking to you!Thesame way she talked to me and told me to come back and hear what you had to say.”
“TheKindredGoddess, you mean?”Andiraised her eyebrows.Asa scientist, she had always been skeptical.Butif both of them had been hearing the same voice… “Youmean she told you to come back to me?” she asked.
Cadenodded.
“Shetold meI’dbe ruining more than just my own life ifIdidn’t turn around and listen to you.”
“Andshe comforted me and told me how to deal with you when you wentPrimal.”Andishook her head, dumbfounded. “I’vealways been kind of an agnostic but this…it’s amazing.”
“It’smeant to fucking be,”Cadesaid.Hetook both her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “Iwas an idiot, running away like that.Ijust couldn’t face you after whatIdid to you.”
“Youwere inPrimalmode,”Andireminded him. “Youweren’t responsible for your actions.”
“WellIfuckingfeelresponsible—Iwas pretty fucking rough with you,”Cadegrowled.
“Itwasscary,”Andiadmitted. “Butwe got through it—both of us.AndIknew you weren’t doing it on purpose.Honestly,Cade—Idon’t blame you for any of it.Andto be honest, you were, uh, giving me what my body needed.”
