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Shestill felt like a mess however—her eyes and nose felt all puffy.
“Here, baby.Hangon…”
Cadewent to the bathroom—or the “fresher,” as theKindredcalled it—and came back with a cool, damp cloth.Hegave it toAndiand she draped it over her face for a moment, breathing deeply as she let the chilly fabric sooth her.Itwas no ordinary facecloth, however—it was aKindredfirmer-towel, which she used as part of her daily beauty routine.Shecould feel it soothing the inflammation and lessening the redness and puffiness at once, which was a great relief.
“Whyis there a breeding chair in your suite?” she heardCadeask as he settled beside her on the couch.
“I’msorry—a what?”Andilifted the cloth and looked to see where he was pointing.
Sureenough, there was a strange looking chair that reminded her a little of a gliding rocker sitting to one side of the firewall.Itseemed to be built for aKindredwarrior because it was certainly too big for a human—although itdidappear to have some footrests on either side of it, which seemed odd.
“Youdidn’t order it?”Cadeasked her.
Andishook her head.
“Itwasn’t here beforeIleft for our mission toZo’rathTwo.”
“Itmust have been delivered to the wrong suite, then.”Heshrugged. “Nevermind—tell me what you have to say, sweetheart.Ipromise,I’lllisten.”
Andifelt heartened by his kind words and the way he was calling her “sweetheart” and “baby” but she was still nervous at what she had to confess.Still, she had nearly lost the bigHybridby not telling the whole truth before—she was determined not to make the same mistake twice.
Shetook a deep breath, trying to order her thoughts.
“Firstof all, everything that happened onZo’rathThree—onOblivion—was my fault,” she told him.
“What?”Cadestared at her blankly. “I’msorry butIdon’t see how that can be true,” he said. “Imight have been mostly out of my mind, butI’vebeen having memories of…of taking you.”Hescowled. “Memoriesof taking whatever the fuckIwanted.”
“Iwanted it too, though,”Andisaid desperately. “I…Iinvited it—invitedyou.IknewIshouldn’t, but, well…”Shefelt her face getting red. “I…I’vealways had a crush on you—right from the first minuteCommanderSylvanassigned us to each other.Iwanted you, butIthought you didn’t want me.Except, when you became aManimal, youdidwant me.AndIlet you…invited you…”Shebroke off, shaking her head. “OhGod,I’mmaking a mess of this.”
Cadewas frowning.
“Ican see you don’t want me to take any blame for whatIfucking did to you, butIdon’t think that’s right.Ihave memories of doing whatIwanted—taking whatIwanted—even when you begged me…”Hecleared his throat. “Fuckingbegged me tostop.”
“Iwas telling you to stop becauseIwas afraid of what you’d think whenIhad to explain to you later thatItook advantage of you while you were mentally incapacitated!”Andiprotested.
Cade’seyes opened wide and he let out a short, startled bark of a laugh.
“Youthinkyoutook advantage ofme?”
“Ididtake advantage of you!”Andiinsisted. “AndthenIwasn’t brave enough to tell you!Cade,I…”Shebit her lip. “Istopped wearing panties.Imean,Ionly had the one pair, butIstopped bothering with them.Idressed for easy access andI…”Shebit her lip, feeling her face burn with shame. “Ibent over a lot and…and spread my legs.Iofferedmyself to you, knowing that you’d take me because you didn’t know any better.”
Cadestill looked startled.
“You…but you fuckingbeggedme to stop.Irememberthat, well enough,” he growled.
“Atfirst,”Andisaid. “BecauseIfelt so guilty—Iwas dreading admitting to you whatI’dlet you do.Ishould have tried harder to, uh, to tell you ‘no’—should have tried harder to train you.”
“Trainme?”Hefrowned.
“Youknow—the way you’d train a dog or any other animal,”Anditried to explain. “AtfirstItried to use mySweetDropsto distract you from trying to uh, do other things.ButthenGoodieBo-long—whoIwas staying with—told me there was no point in trying to train you becauseManimalsdo what they want.Andwhat they mostly want to do is, um…”
“Breed,”Cadesaid grimly. “Fuck.”
“Exactly,”Andiadmitted. “Butthe thing is, theMagroagaricustrisporusspoors that turned you into aManimal, affectedmetoo.”Sheshifted on the couch, pressing her thighs together. “Andthey’re affecting mestill.”
Hefrowned.
“Wait—Ithought you were decontaminated, same as me.”
