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“That’s great, Liam,” I say. “Really.”
“And what about you? What are you up to these days?”
I cringe. I hate getting that question. “Um…” I stall, but there’s no dressing up what I do for work. That I’m in the exact same place as I was the day he left town. “I’m still at the store. You know, the pet shop.”
I see a surprised expression flash across Liam’s face, but he is quick to school his features back into that warm smile that was there a moment ago. “Oh, really? You’re probably running that place by now, huh?”
I laugh, because I’mdefinitelynot running that place. Case in point, my seven day work week that’s right around the corner. “Something like that. It’s pretty great.”
Liam’s giving me a look. He knows I’m lying. He was always able to do that, and I hate that I’m still that transparent. He takes a step closer, then places a hand on my arm. “It’s really good seeing you again, Eva. You look good.”
I swallow. “It’s good to see you too, Liam. Say hi to your mom for me.”
“I will,” he says. “Hey, do you want to grab coffee sometime? I’d love to catch up some more.”
“Sure,” I say. “That’d be great.”
He gives me another hug before we say goodbye, and I look after him as he walks away. I’ll never see that man again, that’s for damn sure. Saying you want to get coffee is just something you say to be polite, right?
I walk home as quickly as I can, and by the time I’ve hauled all my groceries up the three flights of stairs to my apartment, I’m sweaty as hell. After a quick shower and some dinner, I go sit down on my couch, my laptop on my knee and a tub of ice cream on the coffee table. I search through all my folders, scroll back year after year of old photographs. There it is. The year me and Liam got together. I don’t have a lot of pictures from that time, but there are some. I click on the first picture and twenty year old Liam is filling my screen. There’s no beard on his jaw, not so much as a stubble. He’s all gangly limbs and sharp edges, so different from the full bodied man I met earlier today. In the picture, Liam is making a face at me, the face he always did when I told a particularly bad joke. A mix of exasperation and affection. I smile, and click on the next photograph. This one is of both of us, all entangled limbs and tired faces. We had just come back from a weekend away with my parents, and we were exhausted after driving for hours. My mom snapped the picture when we were curled up on my couch, back when I lived in my very first apartment.
It feels strange to go through all of these old memories. It’s like a different life. And at the same time, not much has changed. At least, not for me. I wonder what Liam thought of me, living in the same small town as I grew up in. Stuck at the same job I had fifteen years ago. The job that was only supposed to be temporary, until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Except I never figured that out. And so the years passed me by. I don’t really date. I don’t really travel. I usually don’t give it much thought, it is what it is. But now, it kind of feels like I’m stuck. Like I should have done something more in the past fifteen years.
I go to bed with an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why did I have to run into Liam today? It only brought up old memories. Besides, he’s leaving again, and why shouldn’t he? His life is not here anymore. And mine very much is.
ChapterTwo
I have just stepped out of the shower when there’s a knock on my door. Throwing on a shirt with my jeans, I go over there and open up. I’m not expecting anyone, but sometimes my neighbor needs help reaching stuff in her kitchen. She’s a tiny old lady, and she always feeds me cookies when I help her out. But it’s not a tiny old lady on the other side of the door.
“Good morning.” Liam fills up my entire doorway, scratching his neck as he looks down at me. “I was in the neighborhood, and I wanted to ask if you wanted to have that coffee we were talking about.”
He's larger than life. Looking like a viking biker.
My mouth is open like a fish, so I quickly close it. No need to look like a complete idiot. He wants us to grab coffee. Now. “Um…” I manage to get out. “I mean… Sure.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” he says. “You probably already have plans, and…”
“No. No, I don’t have plans.” I smile at him, it’s impossible not to when he’s rambling like that. “Just let me get ready, and then we can go. Come in.”
Liam steps inside and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looks around, nodding appreciatively. “This is a nice place.”
I snort as I walk over to the bathroom to get my hair in order. “It’s a hole in the wall at best.”
He follows me and stands in the doorway to the bathroom, watching me get ready.
“It’s not a hole in the wall. It’s cozy.”
“Well, it’s not some fancy place in the city,” I say, glancing over at him. “You probably have some ultra modern, penthouse-type apartment overlooking the downtown area.”
Liam starts laughing, his whole body shaking. “You remember me saying I’m ateacher, right? You don’t exactly make penthouse money teaching math to teenagers.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I turn to him, ready to go. I’m about to say something when I notice how close we’re standing. Fifteen years ago, he would have been standing behind me, his arms around my waist as I fixed my hair. He would have kissed my neck, whispering things to make me laugh into my ear. I would have leaned into him, enjoyed the feel of his body against mine. Us being close wouldn’t have felt weird. But now…
“Let’s go get that coffee,” I say, my voice breaking on the last word. Liam steps back, nodding furiously.
“Yup, coffee. Let’s get it.”
He walks ahead of me towards the front door, and my stomach is fluttering. I tell myself it’s because I haven’t had breakfast yet, but when Liam opens the door for me the fluttering getsreallyflutter-y.Calm down, I tell myself.It’s just coffee.
