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Outside it feels easier to breathe. Liam seems more at ease too, walking by my side in a comfortable silence.
“How did you know where I live?” I ask, remembering that I never told him that when we met in the grocery store.
“My mom,” he says. “I hope it’s okay I showed up like that, I just wanted to see you.”
I just wanted to see you. I’m an idiot for letting those words settle in my body, for letting them mean something. It’s just words. He just wants to catch up after all these years. We get to the little café by the town square, pretty much the only place that serves decent coffee in town, and it’s mostly empty. Joanna, the woman that owns the place and a good friend of mine, looks up as the doorbell jingles when we enter. Her customer service face is on, but it falls as soon as she lays eyes on us.
“Oh,” she says. Apparently all other words have escaped her. I make a face at her, willing her to act normal.Don’t make a big deal out of this, please.
“Good morning, Joanna.”
“Good morning.” She’s kind of staring at Liam, her big blue eyes bulging out of her head. “Did I travel back in time?”
Liam chuckles. “Nice to see you again, Joanna.”
Joanna looks between Liam and me. “Yeah. Good to… Yup. This is great.”
“Coffee,” I say, hoping to bring the whole situation back to something that at least resembles a normal conversation. “We’d like some coffee. To go.”
That seems to snap Joanna out of whatever daze she was in. “Of course,” she says, smiling brightly. “Two coffees to go, coming right up.”
She busies herself over by the coffee maker, and I glance up at Liam. He’s looking right at me. I feel heat creep up my face, and turn my eyes down to the counter in front of us.
Thankfully, Joanna returns with two to-go mugs two seconds later.
“Here we are,” she chirps. “Will you be paying separately or together?”
I start to say that we will pay separately, when Liam steps up to the register.
“Together.”
“You don’t have to do that,” I say.
“I want to. I asked you to have coffee with me, so I’m buying.”
I feel Joanna’s eyes on us as we step outside again. We’re going to be talking about this later, I just know it.
“You want to take a walk or something?” Liam asks. “I haven’t had a chance to have a look around yet.”
“It’s pretty much the same as when you lived here,” I say as we start walking. “There are new owners at the bar, but that’s pretty much all I have to catch you up on.” “Then let’s just walk around for nostalgia’s sake,” he says with a grin.
It doesn’t take very long to walk around and see the sights in town. Liam seems to enjoy being back though, he’s constantly pointing out places he remembers, places where he did some stupid shit as a kid, or where he and his friends used to hang out as teenagers. We walk past the old bookshop that had to close down just last year. Liam bumps me and points over at the empty store.
“Remember that place?”
“Of course,” I say. “It was thebestbookstore, they had everything.”
“No,” he says and stops right outside the large window, facing me. “Remember this spot right here? Under the streetlight.”
I look up at the light, which is off now of course. Then I realize what he’s talking about and I swallow. “Yeah, I remember.”
This is where Liam kissed me for the first time. We had eaten dinner together, then just walked around like we are now. I had stopped to look at something in the shop window and when I turned back to look at him, he kissed me. Softly, slowly, and with a furiously beating heart, I had kissed him back.
I smile at the memory. We’re standing in the exact same spot, but that moment was a lifetime ago. A different man stands before me now. He’s soft where he used to be all angles, there’s scruff where there used to be none. I like this version of him. He looks like a grown man. Heisa grown man of course, but there’s something steady and secure in the way he is carrying himself these days. I’m not so sure the same can be said about me.
“What did you think when you saw me yesterday?” I ask. Liam frowns.
“What do you mean?”
